First Snow

Chapter 10: My Traitor Brain

Chapter 10: My Traitor Brain

I set my laptop down on my desk. Then, I ran around in random patterns before I flopped onto the bed, screaming into an unlucky pillow. If it could hear, it would be deaf and just be a regular pillow again. I don’t know why I just ran away. All he did was ask why I was smiling so much. But then again, I don’t want him to know about my lyrics. Or about CharQuincyAdams. I suddenly felt a craving for mashed potatoes again. Yummmm...mashed potatoes. I laid on my bed for a while, my dark brown hair splayed out. Just calm down and focus on mashed potatoes. Not on Luke.

I heard quiet knocks on my door. A voice, slightly muffled, came from the other side. “Hey, Halley? It’s Luke. Can I come in?”. I got up and opened the door slightly. Then I peeked through the small opening.

“Yes?”. Luke looked really nervous. He kept twisting his red shirt in his hands.

“Um... I was hoping we could, you know, talk.”

“Ummm...here?”

“I mean, if you’re okay with it,” he said uncertainly.

“Sure.” I kept my head down and opened the door wider for him to enter.

He came inside and stood around uneasily. I closed the door and went to Luke. “I...uh, I wanted to say, that is, to tell you that I’m sorry. I guess I was being a bit pushy a while ago. I guess I took it a bit too far a while ago. I should have taken the hint you didn’t want to talk about it.” He wrung his shirt even more. I kinda felt sorry for him; he was so nervous. And I don’t even know why he’s apologizing. I didn’t think that he was taking it too far. I was just being shy...as usual.

“It’s ok. You didn’t do anything wrong.” My body moved on it’s own as I stepped closer to him. My heartbeat quickened in pace. What’s wrong with me? Am I sick? That must be it. It has absolutely nothing to do with the guy right in front of me...

“I... I guess... I mean it felt like... I just was thinking... I mean, I just want us to be on good terms, you know.”

Luke’s message barely registered in my brain. “Ummmmm... I thought we are?” My thoughts were spinning 100 mph in my mind. I couldn’t pick a better answer... Calm down here Halley. My hands started to tremble a little due to my flustered brain.

“I mean, I was worried you might be mad at me or something, or that I hurt your feelings, or maybe I overstepped boundaries, or...” No no no no no no no no no no no no!!!!! You definitely did not overstep on my boundaries!!!! Actually I kinda want him closer... my traitor brain!!...I shut her out. However, my body still responded to my mental turmoil by blushing—25% embarrased, 25% flustered, 50% Luke.

“Lee?” His grey eyes were uncertain. Suddenly, the next few seconds flashed by like the world was on fast forward. I couldn’t see what exactly happened. I just felt lean arms around me and they pulled me towards Luke’s body. The world now returned back to slow motion. YES!!!! My brain squealed in obvious delight at the same time my reason said NO!!! If only I was the type to cuss...

“Lee, I just want you to be happy, and for things to be good between us.” YES YES YES YES!!! HUG HIM!!!!HUG HIM NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! My brain went all super crazed soap opera fan girl on me..To reassure his thoughts...you must hug him back!! Oh great, now Reason turned traitor too... Finally, my body responded with my arms hesitantly curling around his firm torso, my torso pressing against his, and I revelled in his warmth. I never noticed how cold it was today. He’s so warm... I smiled in his chest so he couldn’t see it.

“Lee,” He whispered gently. Did he want to stop hugging me? NOOOOOOO!! OF COURSE NOT!!!! My brain protested.

“Hmm?”