The DC heart ache

Part of me

Meredith POV
I had 80 patients since Derek left for DC and none of them have died. Derek and me promised to make things work but I'm doing surprisingly ok without him. I still miss falling asleep next to him with his arms around my waist. I haven't talked to him in a couple of weeks and decided it would be a good time to call him. I picked up my phone and dialed his number, it rang a couple of times and then someone picked up. "Hello" the voice said. It wasn't his voice so I was just assuming it was a nurses. "Hi, is he in surgery?" I asked. "What?" The voice said. I looked to make sure I was calling the right person before I said "I know this is Derek Shepherds phone, who is this?" I asked getting frustrated. The voice didn't reply so I said louder "who is this?" Multiple times until the person on the other side hung up. Was he cheating on me? He couldn't right, we have 2 kids. My head was spinning with the thought of the Love of my life cheating on me with another woman. I didn't want to make assumptions yet though. I walked to the tunnels where Maggie, Alex and Callie were all sitting with some tequila and wine. When I sat down Callie offered me some tequila and I shook my head no, which I would normally down the whole bottle but my stomach hurts thinking about losing my husband to someone else. "Mer what's wrong" Callie asked reading my expression. "I called Derek" I replied. "That's good isn't it? Why do you look like you are going to puke?" Maggie asked. "He didn't answer, a woman did" I sighed. Callies jaw dropped. "Meredith what did the woman say?" Callie asked. "Well I asked her if Derek was in surgery assuming she was a nurse and she said what? So I was like 'I know this is Derek shepherds phone who is this' and I got no answer so I asked it a couple of more times but still got no answer and then she hung up. I think he's cheating on me which I mean I don't blame him she seems tall and perky and hot and I'm just short and twisting and ok" I rambled as Callie stopped me. "Mer, I don't think he would cheat on you I mean you're hot and I've heard and seen how much Derek loves you. He has a family with you, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't drop it like that" Callie smiled. "Thank you, I got to go get our kids from Daycare and take them home to put them to bed. I'll  see you guys later" I said standing up and grabbing my lab coat as I walked up to daycare to grab the kids. After I got them I took them into the car and drove them home. It was already 10 so I would have to hurry and make dinner than get them to bed as soon as possible. When we reached the house I picked Bailey up and grabbed Zola's hand and quickly walked into the house and set them in the living room while I went and made Mac and cheese for them. After they ate it was 10:45 so I needed to put them to bed. Zola went to sleep easily but it took Bailey a little bit to fall asleep.  After both kids were asleep, I went to take a shower. When I stepped in with the hot water hitting my back and face a running down my body I started to wash my hair thinking about how today was not my day. All I could think about was Derek. I slid down the shower wall and sat on the shower floor for a while. The water still hitting my back. I tried to contain myself from not crying but that didn't happen. All I could do was cry, and I couldn't stop as hard as I tried. I finally rose up from the shower floor feeling lightheaded and turning the shower off. I stepped out, dried off and got dressed in pajamas. I turned the lights off and laid down in the bed. Alone like I have been for the last 4 weeks. The glass on our post it was already broken and it was out of sight. I starred at the ceiling with the worse thoughts in my head.

Derek POV
She kissed me. I let her for a bit I didn't pull away. I can't lie to Mer this will kill her. I love Meredith Grey. Not Renee Collier. Meredith Grey and I have a life, family, and house together. I need to tell Renee that the kiss meant nothing and that I'm leaving to go home. "Dr Collier" I sighed pulling her into my office. "Dr Shepherd" She smirked. "I just need you to know that the kiss meant nothing. I have a life and a family in Seattle. I'm leaving the program, hopefully my wife either won't find out or if she does she will forgive me. Just I can't be here" I sighed packing important papers into my briefcase. "Derek, you're wife called after our kiss" She said. "WHAT? What did you say" I asked hoping she didn't say anything. "I didn't say anything but she definitely thinks you're cheating on her. Why don't you just run away with me, she probably won't forgive you anyways" She chuckled. "That's not how it works. I love Meredith Greys and our kids I can't run away with you because I don't love you. You just kissed me and I'm at fault because I didn't pull away straight away. If she doesn't and will never forgive me I still don't want you because I don't like you" I said slamming my office door and booking the next flight to Seattle. She most likely won't forgive me but it's worth a shot. I shouldn't of let her kissed me. I love Meredith.