Lost & Found (TMR)

1

I ran as fast as I could. 

My lungs felt like they were on fire, my body aching from head to toe. 

To me, running felt like a way to release all my anxiety and aggression. It really helped me clear my head from all the bullshit going on in the glade. As ironic as it may sound, it calmed me. 

Everything made me so mad. Everyone made me so mad. 

Every minute I spent in the glade made me want to throw up. Every second I talked to someone seemed like wasted time. Sometimes they made my blood boil, the other girls. Their optimism was driving me insane. 

Don't get me wrong, I hate myself for feeling that way, but all I wanted was to be left alone. I had been running the maze for more than two years at that point and if there was a way out, we would have found it by now. 

I was hanging on by a thread. I was so close to giving it all up. There was no point in this anymore, and the fact that everyone pushed the truth away to stop us all from going nuts made me furious.

I came up the box more than two years ago, together with 24 other teenage girls. We quickly figured out how to survive in the glade and eventually also started looking for a way out. Everybody has got a job here, I'm a runner. It's my job to run the Maze and map the way and, of course, find a way out.

My lungs soared with pain. I decided to take a break and eat my lunch, I already ran for 3 hours that day. To be honest, I had lost the hope that there's an exit. We, the runners, would have found it by now. Everything we have found was some sort of a cliff which leads into nowhere. A girl already jumped down once, but we just heard her scream and saw her never again. 

Honestly, back when it happened, I thought she was a coward for doing it. Now, I am of the very humble opinion that every place is better than this shithole.

I got up and carried on running. It was almost dark as I got back to the Glade, half an hour later the gates of the walls surrounding it closed as usual.

„Hi Charlotte! Anything unusual?", Sonya asked as she saw me going into the map room. I shook my head. The blonde girl sent me a small smile as I walked by her. 

God, there it was again. The unbearable feeling you have when someone annoys you but you actually don't want to be an asshole. I hated myself for how bitter I turned out. I hated myself for the fact that I was drowning in self-pity, because I knew that everyone else was going through the exact same situation, however they are the ones who are able to keep their cool.

After mapping out my route I had dinner and went straight to bed. I avoided talking to anyone, I'm pretty sure I would have punched someone if I did.

This is hell. We're never going to find a way out. I can't go on like that, I thought. Eating, running, mapping, sleeping. Eating, running, mapping, sleeping. That routine, every day. 

When I got here, I was confident to find a way out here. My attitude was fundamentally altered as soon as I realized we were trapped in a vicious cycle, though. Something would have to change. 

Quite frankly, I felt like I was going crazy. Of course I didn't get a lot of sleep with all the thoughts racing in my head. In fact I don't think I've slept more than three or four hours in a very long time.

I got up next morning, trying to rub my tiredness from my eyes. I got dressed and headed to breakfast. The things the creators were sending us up here every week were very casual. A black shirt, jeans, underwear. 

A few minutes later, I was stirring around in my plate of scrambled eggs. Someone dropped down on the seat next to me, I looked up to find Harriet smiling at me. "Not very hungry, are you?" she smirked. She was the leader of our group and actually a really good friend of mine. After I responded with a light shrug, she offered me a genuine smile. "I know it's been hard recently, Char." I nodded back and hesitantly smiled at her in response. 

"How about you take a day off for once?", she asked, sympathy glistening in her dark eyes. I impulsively scoffed, immediately subconsciously scolding myself for it. "I doubt doing nothing all day would make me feel better", I say quietly, getting up to bring my plate in the kitchen. Harriet did the same, following my heel out of the main building of our glade. 

"Well, a new girl should arrive tomorrow, maybe you could give her the tour. I need to help Sonya in the woods anyways." I blinked, studying her features with my eyes. "Yeah, sounds fine I guess.", I exclaimed emotionless and headed in the direction of the map room. 

Maybe some change wouldn't be that bad after all.

After gathering my stuff in my small rucksack, I ran into the maze. It was still pretty early, the doors were only opened for a few minutes. I ran and ran and ran. It was the same everyday. Left, right, right, straight, left, straight. I was satisfied with my speed, I turned into a really fast runner over the last year.

According to my fellow Gladers, I had golden blond hair, blue eyes and freckles all over my face. I was about seventeen and pretty tall. The time flew by and it was time for lunch. I drank a bit water from my bottle and stuffed it back into my small backpack.

About an hour later I stood in the middle of a crossing. I actually would have to go right to not come into the area of the other runners, but I wanted to look. It seemed as if something drew me into the opposite direction. So I went straight and ran as fast as I could to not lose too much time, but I stopped in front of one wall. 

Something was wrong with that one. Slowly, I moved towards it. A small gap was opened where it met another wall. It looked like when the maze changed that night, it didn't close properly. I squeezed myself through the space. I knew I shouldn't, but I was too curious. I wanted to know what was behind there.

As I came out on the other side, everything looked the same. Grey stone walls, covered in ivy. I decided to not go back, I would probably just arrive at another gate of our Glade. There were still three hours left until they closed, according to my watch.

I carried on as usual and just tried to always take the way to the right, so I would be arriving at the glade for sure. About two hours later I fell into a very sceptic mood. Just think confident, Charlotte. You'll get back soon enough, I kept telling myself.

Suddenly I heard a very strange noise. Metal jingled and something what sounded like slime on the ground. I knew what that was. 

How...I thought they only come out at night? 

It could only be a Griever.