What I Regret Most

Chapter 7 (Saylor)

What happened with Ezra was a mistake. But I couldn't help but feel happy that it did. I just felt bad about how our night together ended. I shouldn't have left with no explanation after he kissed me. I wanted to tell him what it meant to me, but I had to think, so I went upstairs and just stared at the ceiling.

When Dom knocked on my door, I fully intended to tell him that our date was canceled. I didn't know where Ezra and I stood, but I definitely felt a deeper connection with him. Then again what was the harm in going to hang out with a possible friend? Dominic was someone I didn't see myself with, so mini-golf wouldn't be a big deal. I told him I wouldn't stand him up and hugged him. I closed my door and went to lay down on my bed. How did my plan fail so miserably? The whole point of last night was to show that I could do it. That I could manage a year without involving myself with someone. But I didn't expect to meet Ezra or to feel so safe with him.

Five came faster than I thought it would. I threw on some leggings and a nice shirt and walked out into the living room. Lucas was sitting there sulking.

"What's the matter?" I said walking over to him

"Why him?" he said, I wasn't sure which him he was talking about, so I tried to get him to clarify.

"What do you mean?"

"Why do you have to go out with Dom? He's my teammate." Oh.

"Listen, Lucas, nothing is going to happen. He made me fall down the stairs and wanted to apologize. This is what he chose to do. I'm not interested in him I promise."

"So you're just going to lead him on?"

"No, of course not. I made it clear to him that I wasn't looking for anything more than to hang out."

"Oh. he didn't make it seem like that."

"Well I'm sorry he implied anything else, I'll make sure he understands."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, I have to go, I'll talk to you later." I walked out the door and found Dom holding flowers and leaning up against his car. He walked over, hugged me, and then handed them to me.

"Hey Saylor, you look really nice." This was awkward. He had no clue what had happened with Ezra.

"Thanks, you don't look too awful yourself." he laughed. It wasn't even that funny. We got into the car and he started to drive."Hey, can I clear something up with you?" I said. I planned to make my intentions clear.

"Sure Saylor what's up?"

" I really don't think that this is going to work out," I said.

"What do you mean? We haven't even gone on the date yet."

"I know, but really I'm just doing this for fun. Nothing long term."

"You don't think I know that?"

"Huh?" I was confused. He knew that I was very much interested in someone else?

"You're leaving after high school, so am I. I can't get stuck here. This is why us dating this year would be nice. No commitment." I hadn't thought about that. Was Ezra planning on leaving after high school? Would he come with me if I asked?

"You make a fair point."

"I do, now enjoy yourself." He said, pulling into mini-golf.

Overall, the date was fun, easy. No arguing, no yelling, no crying, just teenagers being teenagers. He tried to teach me how to hold the golf club correctly. I hit him in the shin for that, and we both fell down laughing. Everything was great. I didn't think about Ezra the entire time. Could I really just have fun with no strings?