I'm Not Confused

Helena

Helena was my girlfriend. We met in band, and then again in honors English. She was such a sweet girl, I feel kinda bad I made fun of her name. But it's not my fault her name is a my chemical romance song. At least it's a good song.

Before you ask, no we haven't kissed yet, we haven't really gone on a date, and those were the first people to find out. I really expected a different reaction.

But when I talk to her, she makes me happy. She was so pretty too, with her cool black hair, that swept over her face. She died the end of her bangs to make an awesome rainbow and in the back its feathered into a cool "emo" style. She always has masterful make up on and has a amazing sense of style. And if her looks aren't enough, she was always nice and listens well and she never really gets mad. How could you NOT love a girl like that?!

Me, I'm just dumpster worthy. I have long brown hair, that's always a little messy. My hair has really thick bangs, in a attempt to make scene bangs but ended up just getting crooked normal ones. My eyes are brown. I don't really wear make up. My clothes are usually the first thing I see. And I can't help but see flaws first when I look in the mirror.

I've dated a few boys before, just to set things straight that I'm not gay. That's not what this is about. Anyways, back to the story.

I sit next to Helena in science and scribble out a note.

_does this old hag know how to teach?_she laughs and scribbles back

_only if you know how to flirt_

_watcha talkin about crazy lady I only wanted to talk_

_and that's why you're face is red? ;)_

"IT IS?" I whisper shout and grab my mouth. The teacher is standing right above us. My blood boils and I feel a really bad feeling in the back of my throat.

"Shall I READ this?"

You know that feeling you get when you're about to show your parents a bad report card? That utter fear of what are they going to think, what's going to happen, what consequences await my arrival? That's how I felt right now.

She grabbed the note and read it over, checking for any read out loud pranks, then did a quiet gasp an looked at us with a look of disgust. Crap.

Yeah, this old hag is the most Christian thing the world has to offer.

"See me after class girls." She wearily walks back to her desk and continues the lesson. Me and Helena give each other a knowing glance and she looks worried.

She scribbles one final note out on a piece of paper and just shows it to me.

_I haven't come out to my parents_

_me either_