The good, the bad...and the 'awkward'.

Part 15- Back in my life.

Previously on The good, the bad...and the 'awkward':

And that's how James and I became a couple. We didn't need words, we sealed it with a kiss.

At last I was with the love of my life...nothing was ever going to tear him away from me....That's what I thought until an unexpected and maybe not so unwanted visitor arrived...

The week flew by. I don't believe I've ever been happier in my life. I realize now that what I felt with Harrison wasn't being in love...it was me, in love with being in love! There's a huge difference, I see that now. I was currently sitting on my porch, waiting for James to come over. It was a wonderfully pleasant evening, warm and sunny. I felt spring in the air, and was rather impatient for its arrival. I could barely contain my grin as James' car pulled into the driveway. He hopped out, smiling like I was the Queen of Sheba. He truly did treat me better than I deserved, but I wasn't about to tell him so. "How's my lovely, adorable, precious darling?" He joked, as he closed the distance between his car and the porch. He kissed me, a warm, wonderful kiss that made me feel just how much he loved me. "So! What would you like to do today?" I smiled inwardly as I noticed his dark, brown hair was drifting into his large eyes, He'd need a hair cut soon. We decided, since we had such beautiful weather, we would take advantage of the park. A place I hadn't bothered to step foot in since I was twelve years old. On the way over there we talked and joked around, the windows were down, blowing my hair in my face, making it almost impossible to see. The volume was on it's highest level to Taio Cruz-Dynamite. Moments like these are what make me feel like I'm alive. I realize that maybe this boy, here beside me might not be the one I spend my life with, I realize that I'm just a girl, he's just a boy, and we have our whole lives ahead of us, We'll do bigger things. But right here, right now is what counts, I wouldn't trade it for the world. James looked over at me, as our eyes met, he blew me a kiss. I couldn't imagine life without him. People like Harrison were put in my way for a reason, I suppose someday I'll understand, but for now....Who cares?

The park was filled with several young families. They all looked so happy, so content. I couldn't help but wonder if that would be me someday.

James slipped his hand in mine, and we sat that way, side by side in the sun warmed grass. Butterflies floated around us, though they were only after the roses we had so inconveniently blocked from their view. One or two toddlers occasionally wandered up to us, but just as quickly left, we were that uninteresting. The silence enveloped us, and yet we were surrounded by noise. I discovered it in places like the squeaky chains on the swings, the soft chatter from the mothers, a dog panting...we were both taking it all in.

James unexpectedly looked over my way. "I love you." He said, and I knew he meant it. When dusk started to fall, and the grass turned a shade of blue and grew colder under our jean clad legs, and the fireflies made their presence known in a series of blinks we finally stood and left the place where something I was unable to explain had occurred.

He didn't say, and I didn't say. But it's presence was known. Both of us had realized with shock, sadness and maybe a bit of reluctance, that this was it. These moments in our lives couldn't be bought back. Our child hood days were over, I think we'll miss them.

~

It was a gloomy Sunday morning. Not gloomy, as in 'emotions' or anything like that...but honest to goodness GLOOM. The sky was overcast with dark grey clouds, and the wind was starting to pick up. Oddly enough, however it was quite warm. I wasn't going to see James today. Sunday is his day to work at the supermarket. "Mom!" I called out to the relatively empty house. "If you need anything, I think I'll be gone for a walk." In reply, I was granted a small mutter of recognition.

I decided, probably against my better judgement, that considering how absolutely amazing it felt outdoors, I would wear something comfortable and summery. I decided on one of my favorite shirts I bought in a shopping spree last summer. A baby blue tank top. Instead of sleeves, It was tied up on the shoulders with spaghetti straps. With it, I decided to wear white shorts and tennis shoes. I checked myself one last time in the mirror and smiled with approval. I'd gone far too long without clothing like this. For one tiny second it felt like summer again.

My reflection staring back at me from the mirror reminded me of a lot of things, good, bad...but mainly bad. Whatever way it might seem, the entire Harrison ordeal HAD left quite a bitter scar in his absence. Though I tried my hardest to stay calm on the outside, and to tell myself that I didn't care, at night everything came back to me in a series of horrific truths...or lies. Voices in my head, telling me I'll never be pretty, that I'll never be loved. That I don't deserve anything in life. I tried my hardest to obtain my sanity during all of that...but sometimes it was hard, I very nearly felt like giving up, I mean really, what's a girl to do? That question is asked a million times a day by thousands of teenage girls who suffer the same problems as me. I don't know quite what their circumstances are, but it feels good to know you're not the only one who fails to please the public eye of criticism.

I tossed my head. But those days are in my past. I don't want to forget entirely that they happened only because some things are placed in our paths to teach us. Heaven knows I don't want to make those same mistakes twice.

~

I heard the screen door bang behind me as I made my way down my porch steps. At times like these I wish I had a furry companion to accompany me on my walks through the neighborhood. Unfortunately my mother hardly approves of animals. She can't imagine life out of the normalcy we're so used to. If there's one thing I've learned about my mom, it's that she's terrified of change. She goes completely ballistic if anything is out of the ordinary. It gets to me sometimes, Especially in a world where we're changing everyday. Upgrading, getting bigger, more important, smarter. If you aren't in, then you're out. My mom got out long before I was born.

After strolling through my surrounding streets, I started to make my way back towards my end of the totem pole. When my house was hardly 20 steps away I noticed something out of place. At first I couldn't place what it was. Looking around, i hardly noticed anything odd, but there WAS something. My gaze was averted by the cause of my confusion. On Kent's Aunt's front porch there was a suitcase, a rather large, economy size suitcase, and beside that suitcase was a boy. A boy I hadn't seen for many years, but it was him none the less. The first love of my life, the first friend I ever had, my old crush who I had never quite gotten over, Here he was at last, less then 4 feet away, waiting to be remembered.~

A/N: Well then! Hope you guys enjoyed! What do ya think will happen? ;)

Iz