heaven ✿ jihan

009

Joshua had a feeling that Jeonghan wasn't the type of drunk whose memory was impaired by alcohol. He could feel the older's eyes boring through him at the lunch table, and it was driving him insane. Jeonghan usually wasn't like this, and that told him that the blonde was likely consumed by his act of kindness a few nights ago.

And now, as he was desperately trying to ignore the lingering gaze from across the lunch table, he couldn't help but feel exposed—as if he were abruptly under a microscope and Jeonghan was studying every cell of his body. That had been the whole reason he avoided being overly kind and personal, but it seems it had all gone to waste as his underlying personality had poked through. Now, he was upset he even befriended them at all.

"Whatcha working on?" Jeonghan suddenly questioned, causing Jisoo to look up from the notebook he was currently scribbling in.

"Huh?" When Jeonghan nodded towards the notebook, the younger glanced at it for a second before bringing his chocolatey eyes back up to the other's. "Oh...um, calculus," he answered briefly, trying his best to go back to the curt and bland Joshua they all knew.

"Oooh, smart boy," the blonde smirked jokingly, totally disregarding the fact that he, too, had calculus, but never regarded himself as any sort of academically inclined. Jisoo knew this but decided not to comment. Jeonghan didn't need to know that he too remembered random facts.

Jisoo just exhaled in a poor rendition of a laugh and tried to refocus on his work, but as distracted as he was earlier, it seemed as if it had multiplied tenfold after Jeonghan spoke to him. He could still feel the stare from the other male, and he wondered just what was on his mind to make him so interested.

"Hey, thanks for making sure I got home alright Friday."

There is was. The American boy internally cringed as soon as the words left Jeonghan's mouth because he had been right—Jeonghan remembers. Honestly, it shouldn't have been as big of a deal as it was, but Jisoo just couldn't seem to shake the fact that he cared about Jeonghan, and now the older was as aware of it as he was.

"No problem," he said hardly above a whisper, not even bothering to look up from the notebook that he was hastily very invested in despite not remembering what he was working on in the first place.

"I know you probably didn't have a lot of fun, but we really liked having you there," the blonde added, seemingly unaffected by his dismissive attitude.

Jisoo wrote down random numbers, fully aware that they had nothing to do with the problem he was working on, but not wanting to seem as if he were just being avoidant, even though he totally was. "I had fun," he lied.

The older didn't comment further on the subject—either because he could tell that Josh was lying, or because there was nothing left to say. Joshua thought he was just going to stay silent for the rest of lunch, but his aimless scribbling of numbers ceased when he heard: "Do you want to go get ice cream after school?"

His head shot up to look at scrutinize Jeonghan—to search for any hint as to why he's asking him of all people to hang out. It's not like he brings much to the table. His presence is almost like no presence at all—as if he were more of a mannequin than a real person. "Why?" was the only word he could think to say.

The blonde shrugged, seemingly unaffected by the reaction he received. "Everyone else is busy today and I don't want to just sit around at home. I figured I'd see if you wanted to join," he explained coolly, but there was a slight tinge of pink on his cheeks. Jisoo told himself it was just because the cafeteria was warm.

"I guess," the younger shrugged, but inside he was screaming. This is what happens—you're nice, and they try to get close. They try to be your friend and everything goes haywire. But at the same time, the thought of simply saying no was rather unappealing. He acted like it was because he wanted to be nice, but he knew it was because he didn't want to be alone either. Maybe he was more lonely than he thought.

And of course, Jeonghan replied with his beautiful smile that could make flowers bloom. The smile that had started to haunt Jisoo at night, when he would inevitably start to think about the boys that still chose to be kind to him—but there was one that had always been the tiniest bit special.

Joshua let the corners of his mouth twitch upward the slightest bit before he looked back down at that damned notebook, a tiny blush of his own painting his cheeks. Gosh, it's hot in here, he thought...completely disregarding that he was sitting right under the A/C.

When the bell rang, he avoided eye contact and gathered his things, willing his thoughts to be consumed by something else for just five seconds. No one seemed to notice as they exited the cafeteria and bid each other goodbye as they normally do.

Finally, he could breathe as he entered his fourth period where he could be alone. Something felt so weird about him and Jeonghan hanging out—alone at that. Why did he keep breaking his own rules when that guy is involved? It was starting to become a pattern, and he didn't like it.

Still, the way Jeonghan's face lit up when he agreed wouldn't let him back out now. He would just have to be dry to remind the older who he was dealing with—then maybe he would never have to worry about getting invited to hang out again.

He knew that Yoon Jeonghan was bad news. He couldn't be caught repeatedly having a soft spot for him. He had put himself through so much back in LA because of things like this, and he refused to let his harbor of escape be tainted by his own temptations.

Not again.