Backpack Baby

Lucky Charm My A-

Kate Kavanagh (bi—- from hell)
I snicker as I watch Ana try to walk a straight line. I just know she's going to trip and fall on her face. And there she goes. She says officer I am clumsy that's all.
Ana
Dammit Kate tell them I haven't drank and you spilled this beer all over me. Don't you have one those breath analyzer thingys? I thought you all carried them. Do the breath thingy it will prove my innocence officer.
Kate
You tell them Ana as I laugh hysterically at her tripping yet again after touching her nose. Her balance was never great. We get a phone call right mr copman right?
Jose
Dammit can't you all stop yelling my hangover is starting already and you all are causing noise. Wait are those cops. Ana did you have another wreck? She can't pass a sobriety officer she's not able to. Never could she can walk without falling on her face so none of your tests will be passed run or sober by that one. Show him your scar.
Ana
Omg Jose don't talk about that scar. I will not show that scar to complete strangers.
Kate
Oh yes the heart shaped scar from the cookie cutter she fell on. And what a place to have it. Right above her you know.
Ana
Omg just arrest me already so they will shut up please.
Kate
I laugh hysterically and Jose is snickering beside me.
Policeman Rogers
We will take you to the station, the car has to be towed if you can't get someone to drive it tonight.
Ana
I call dad and tell him what happened he is not happy, but he will have his driver pick it up. He asks to talk to the cop.
Ray
Did you do a breath analyzer test on my daughter?
Rogers
We didn't have one sir and she could pass the test. We did the noise touch test and the walk the line and she smells like beer. She said her friends dumped a beer on her.
Ray
She can't pass the nose or the line test she has balance issues. When you get her to the station do the breathalyzer test. She will pass it trust me. Let me guess she had a wreck, right?
Rogers
Yes they just hit a trash can sir, but she smells like beer sir and her friends are definitely drunk.
Ray
But she's not slurring her speech that should tell you something and I am betting there's a dark spot in her clothing
Rogers
Yes there's a dark spot. We are heading the downtown main branch of Seattle PD. And the car can be picked up, but make sure the trash can is replaced and the trash picked up okay?
Ray
Will do. I have my driver go get the car and replace the trash can and pick up the trash. I call my attorney, because these guys might not want to do the breathing test and they are going to if I have my say. Jose and Kate are a bad influence on Ana.
An hour later I am shaking my head at Ana as she is given her things and an apology by the arresting officer is made. I leave the other two where they are and let their areas deal with them. My attorney Jeff London makes the same comment I have made often.
Jeff London
Ana stop going to bars with those two something worse could happen to you okay?
Ana
Yes okay. We leave and they have taken Kates car back to her home, so I am betting they woke her folks up again. Why do I allow them to talk me into going out with them, I always end up on 5he losing end. Kate said we would have fun and she brought me a lucky charm just in case I had to drive them home again. I gave in yet again and the drank a lot. I made them leave before they couldn't walk to the car.
Ray
Ana I know you like Kate and Jose, but we both know they just use you as a designated driver. You get into a wreck of some kind each time you drive. Plus they don't worry about your safety when you are watching them get drunk. I know you don't like this idea, but next time you have to have your bodyguard drive you and watch out for your safety. That's the only way you are going to go out with those two again okay?
Ana
Okay dad, I didn't like being arrested and behind bars.
Ray
No one does Ana. But I like it less because I had to have an attorney help get you out. They were resistant to doing the breathalyzer until Jeff told them he could get a judge to order the test and blood toxicology and if your test was clean they would be sued for false arrest. None of you should have been arrested at all. The cop Rogers should have had you clean the trash up and replace the garbage cans and a possible ticket. Arresting you was a bit much. He had the breathalyzer in his car and decided to arrest you three anyway. I and Jeff had a few words with him and his boss about this situation.
Ana
So he lied to me and arrested me for what reason?
Ray
Who knows really, he could have been trying to impress his boss. He definitely impressed him by not doing the breathalyzer test on you. Wasted my time, his time, your time and his bosses time. Jeff's time and my money. Sweetheart we have talked about your inability to drive without running into something. I know it's not all your fault. You just are at the wrong place when things happen. The tree falling on the back of your car, the dump trucks gate opening up and the gravel spilling out causing another problem. The student driver who put the car in reverse and back into you at a light. Should I go on?
Ana
No please don't, I will not drive after this last thing. Shall I tell you how hitting the trash can came about. A raccoon was the catalyst , he left before the cop got there and I was trying to get out of the car, but the other can blocked the door of the car. The cop didn't let me explain that to him.
Ray
Ana I pray your luck gets better soon. But let's not drive for a while okay?
Ana
Me too, I feel like I am living a sitcom.