Battle of intentions

10. I wouldn't love you either

"C'est simple comme bonjour!"

I rolled my eyes. Here we go again. Did we have to go through this every-time she visited France. "Someone is certainly in a grand mood. What do I owe the pleasure of seeing our mother not being a nuisance?" I whispered to my sister who sat beside me. Victoria could only give me an elbow to the stomach. I faked aching. What hurt worse was having to acknowledge and promise myself that I'd never touch a certain woman again. It had been a mistake, a mistake that I hated to admit taking enjoyment to. I could not remember much of my drunk nights but this one I did. I remembered every second of it. I had promised her, I wouldn't. I had to promise myself, I'd stop thinking of it.

"Pisser dans un violon... Hugh."

"Why would I be pissing on a violin?" I asked her.

"Mother, Hugh is simply desirous; do not mind him."

"Pardon me?" I laughed out loud. "I'm fluent in four languages, throwing random phrases is supposed to make me wary with jealousy. Victoria please, do yourself a favour and get married before your slow-wittedness starts to show."

"Mother!" Victoria complained.

"Quiet down child, you know your brother loves to make a banter."

I had not realised there was an eye on me until I looked up from my plate. I immediately made eye contact with Beatrice who stood next to my mother's chair. A bit uncomfortable, I looked around the table of sixteen. It made me conscious of how unnecessary it was or perhaps how lonely it was. Looking up from my plate, my eyes met Beatrice again. Clearing my throat, I decided this would be the right time to bring up Marlborough.

"I will be leaving for Marlborough soon."

"For what reason?"

"I need a new butler, the Gallagher plantation seems promising."

"James has been so good to you?"

"He has but I think it time, I looked for a new butler."

"It's alright if you're going to look for sex!" My sister mimicked. I gave her a death warning eye before turning to my dear mother with a cunning angelic smile. For many reasons, I knew I was always the favourite. My mother had always been willing to bend herself in every direction I pointed at. It wasn't something to be proud of but I knew well enough that nothing would ever make my mother disown me. She never took a liking to Anna because she was lower class but regardless she allowed for the marriage to continue. She tried her best to accommodate her. My mother was a sadistic woman but when it came to me, she could either be extreme or overly pleasant.

"Victoria please, learn to respect your brother."

"But mother—"

"He is still grieving, how could you be more wrapped up in oneself!"

I nodded, vigorously.

"Grieving? When he takes a different woman to bed every given chance. Mother! Hugh is not whom he portrays himself to be." Vicky yelled, when she gained no reaction from mother. She abruptly left the table. I remained unbothered by her bickering; frankly it was giving me a headache.

"How long will you be staying?"

"A week, depends—" on how long Nora needs.

"Be careful, I hear there is a indecent way of living on that side of the country..."

"How indecent?"

My mother then came close against the table to whisper. "...they sleep with niggers, marry and breed... you don't want to know Hugh. It's awful."