Battle of intentions

19. During my first pregnancy

She wore a pretty simple white dress but she wasn't the bride. Nora had grown out her short and curly brown hair. She looked absolutely gorgeous as she held Lewis in her arms. I had not seen her since, assuming time away from her would remove the spell she had cast on me. There was no difference in fact seeing her again after such a long time only made the heart grow fonder. I needed to speak to her. Every part of my body yearned for her. I missed her smile, simply her smile or the giggle she made when I gave her neck kisses. I missed her lips, her kisses were so forbidden they made me rethink every single thing I've ever been taught about black. When she wrapped her legs around me, it meant the end for me. I figured you do not just start to feel this way about a person but it was different. She grew onto me and did not know it. I had no plans of telling her either, what would be my point or end solution? I doubt she felt the same, she was so disconnected from her feelings. Especially not for a white man. The only time, I ever saw her express fondness for another was with her aunt and Emeka. I tried my best to forget all about it. I tried my best to see Lily the same way.

Nora had so much pride for someone as sweet as she is. She'd never admit to anything that meant praise on my behalf. Even if I had given her the time of her life; flustered and now sensitive. She'd still try and make me believe, it wasn't all that. I had prayed to God to heal my soul and allow me to move on but here I was reminiscing every memory, I ever had with her. She was only ever vulnerable during after she had reached her climax. She refused to be vulnerable with me. I missed those eyes, I missed her touch and laughter. She made everything feel as if it would be alright.

"She takes good care of him." Lily whispered in my ear as we had our first dance as bride and groom.

"She does." I replied with a gulp.

"I'm so happy." Lily expressed.

"So am I." It felt as if I was on autopilot. Felt it was only right to give her a kiss on the cheek especially with all the eyes watching.

With many people congratulating us. It seemed time was flying by. My mother was more than excited. Vickie seemed to be focused on Nora.

"Mother, it is a bit unfair." I heard Vickie whisper.

"What's unfair dear?" My mother asked as we ate around the table. Oliver was present, so was his wife Catherine. I had invited William and Austin but it seems my mother wouldn't allow their wives so they did not come altogether. Thought it would be nice if Nora saw her family. Lady Martha was present regardless.

"My breasts are still the same size but Nora on the other hand. They grew overnight."

"It happened to me during my first pregnancy." Catherine added. For a moment, I felt my heart racing. Nora was far from our table she couldn't have heard it. Innocently focused on Lewis, she seemed oblivious. She had only gained weight there was absolutely nothing more to it. Of course her breast size changed with her weight gain. She did not look in my direction, she did not want to make eye contact at all. I wanted to, I was genuinely begging for it. She was always a beautiful woman with curves and a backside that complimented her well. A small waist that I loved putting my hands on every-time we hugged goodbye or simply kissed. She was rather voluptuous and any man could agree to that. I noticed men with wives, men without or stare at her with lust whenever she stood up. She was oblivious to the attention she was bringing upon herself. No one could deny how breathtaking she was. Most people were astound because of her eyes and almost straight hair; they knew. Her hair was proof of what they could not confirm. It was at the back of their minds. They had never seen a mulatto.

A friend of my fathers had said to me. "If this is what they look like, it makes me wonder what my late daughter would have looked like?" It wasn't everyday in London they came across a mulatto. With every rumour saying because it was forbidden even before the Lord, the child born between those two races would be disabled or suffer tremendously.

It was Lily's wedding but it seemed almost every man was enticed by Nora. Some even going as far as asking how much mother was willing to sell? It all felt inhuman.

"Imagine bedding her? She must be a delicate wonder. I wouldn't know how to act truly." I over a conversation amongst married men whom with no shame lusted for an oblivious woman. I felt the urge to stand up and cover her with my blazer. I could not handle the attention she was bringing. This was Lily's day not hers. Frustrated, I asked her to leave. Lily tried to not let it bother her but I could tell it was.

I watched as my mother approached Nora.

Lady Martha was quick to ask. "Has she done any wrong?"

"May I have a word?"

"Yes, ma'am." Nora agreed, oblivious to the brew that awaited her. Leaving Lewis in Lady Martha's hand. I watched my mother push her towards a private corner where she told her some harsh words. I watched as Nora wiped her tears away nodding and agreeing with everything my mother harshly said to her. My mother then harshly tore the flares of her dress. Lady Martha looked concerned as she waited for Nora to get back into her seat but she didn't. It was then I noticed a white man hand over his blazer to cover Nora, he walked out with her. Lady Martha was quick to follow behind. As soon as my mother returned to the table. She complained. "I certainly put her in her place, she was only here so as to look after Lewis not make a fool of herself. Martha certainly overdid it making her wear that ridiculous dress." I felt horrid because I knew I had been the one to tell my mother to escort her out. I was trying my best to forget about her and being in front of me did not help at all.

Thus far, it was only the beginning of our problems. For some reason my mother had grown to hate Nora. The way she dressed, the way she spoke, if she looked at Lily for too long, if Lewis was sick— all the ludicrous things she had no control over. Beatrice seemed to have a hand in the hatred my mother had for Nora. Sometimes she stayed with Lewis in his room till the next day. She wouldn't come out, she said she was fine. Only coming out when mother would complain that Lewis had not went on his daily stroll. Nora never wore anything revealing, she was always covered up but somehow everyone seemed to have a problem with her dressing. I realised it wasn't about whatever she wore, it was her body and there was nothing more she could do about it. I avoided home as much as I could. Whenever I saw Lewis my mother preferred it be with Lily present. Nora and I couldn't be seen together that wasn't a problem since Nora preferred not to see me either.

It all seemed like once upon a time when we had those hidden moments. I did not know how long Nora would take the ill treatment. Frankly, I could tell she was tired of it all.

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