affectionate

what happened to my body?

I've been here for two weeks now and still haven't been able to escape. Loki does not allow me to leave my room, he says that I cannot leave my room until he's sure he can trust me. I've tried to escape but it's pointless. so far he only really hit me once, but otherwise my punishments were that he took away my privileges. Like taking away my chair, my right to sleep in the bed, hot showers, ... And if I talk in an inappropriate way he washes my mouth with vinegar.

After a week I finally got my own clothes, so I don't have to put on his shirts anymore.

I'm sitting on my bed waiting for Loki to come and give me my clothes. He doesn't want me to choose my own clothes so he locks the dressing and gives me a dress every morning. The dresses are long and graceful like princess dresses. don't get me wrong they are beautiful but some of them are very uncomfortable.

Loki walks in and immediately goes to the dressing. one of the doors is my dressing which I would think was pretty cool if I could actually go in.

He comes back out with a beautiful but simple pink dress. It has an open back and a gold finish on my waist and chest.

He gives me the dress and some underwear, "take a shower and put this on, I'll come back to pick you up in an hour." He says.
"are we going outside?" I ask, with a little enthusiasm in my voice. "the doctor is expecting you for a check up." He says and walks out of the room.

I do what he says and go to the bathroom to take a quick shower. when I take off my night dress I look in the mirror and still see the bruises.

I remember the first time I saw myself in the mirror since I came here.

Loki told me to take a shower and change the shirt. I didn't complain because a shower sounded nice. I went to the bathroom and closed the door behind me, took off the shirt and turned around.
I saw myself in the mirror and was shocked.
my hair was in a messy tail from sleeping and my skin was pale. I had terribly large bags under my eyes and my lips looked dried out and cracked. I doubt but after a while I convince myself to look at the rest of my body.
I looked at my waist and was even more shocked. I was so thin you could see my ribs and my stomach was almost completely full of bruises. There were rope burns to my wrists and ankles. my legs were thin and looked weak, it seemed like a miracle that I could stand. they were already full of bruises. And on my thighs you could even see bruises in the shape of the hands of the men who wanted to touch me or even more but I struggled against them. They often held me in place by grabbing me with my thighs, causing these bruises.

My body looks a lot better now. I have already gained some weight because Loki requires me to eat three meals a day. I had to get used to it and I had to throw up a lot but now I eat small meals three times a day. the bruises started to disappear but are still there. the bags under my eyes are gone because I sleep a lot because, there is nothing to do all day in my room alone. my lips look healthier and my skin is less pale.

I take a quick shower and put on the dress. It fits perfectly around my body. I put a braid in my hair and walk out of the bathroom. Loki is sitting in the seat reading a book in front of the fireplace that is not switched on now, because it is beautiful spring weather. He looks up from his book. "are you ready?" He asks. "Yes," I say with my head down. "Yes who?" He asks in that stern voice again. "Yes, sir" I say coldly.

He starts walking towards the door, I just follow him. He opens de door and I see an other room, not the hallway Just another room. I think Loki saw me staring and chuckles. "your room is attached to my room." He says. So he was the whole time just in the room next to me?!

he walks to a door, opens it and makes a sign that I have to walk before him.

We walk through the hallway, guards are at almost every door and maids walk past and bow their heads. we walk into the room with the doctor's table and Loki snaps his fingers and nods to the table. I sit on the table and wait.

Elisabeth enters and gives me a friendly smile. "How are you (y/n)?" She asks
"I'm good thanks for asking" I answer.

"Were you able to eat well?" She aks, Loki answers before I can. "We had a little discussion about it, she doesn't want to eat three times a day. so we agreed to eat three times a day but small portions. Yet she does not eat everything when she is alone." I look down. It's true sometimes I don't want to eat everything, it's just too much. At first he sometimes left me alone in my room during dinner. But since I didn't eat it then, he now always sits with me until I've eaten everything.

Elisabeth remains silent and nods. She does a few tests, but says nothing. after a while she starts talking, to Loki rather than to me but loud enough so I can hear everything. "She looks a lot better but is still too skinny. I think the portions of food can be larger." my eyes widen to what she just said. She notices and continues talking. "Make sure she eats everything, it is going to be difficult but it is for her own health." Loki nods and looks at me.

"You can build up every two weeks with larger portions until she can eat normal portions." she focuses more on me and starts talking to me. "It's going to be difficult but you have to do your best to eat everything you get. I'll make sure you don't get too much. Every time the portions are increased you may get sick, but it gets better."

She says a few more things to Loki but I'm not really paying attention.

Then he signals to me to get up and walks outside.
"Where are we going?" I ask. "Back to your room." He says. "B-back to... my room..." I sigh. Loki stops walking and turns around and sighs. "What is it?"

"Nothing it's just boring in my room. I have nothing to do." Loki nods and starts walking the other way. I just stand there, not sure what to do. He turns around again and looks at me "Are you coming?"