The Heart of Mars & The Heart of Space (A Mick Mars/Tommy Thayer Love Story)

Chapter 5- Well THEY hit it off... (Mick POV)

A/N: Enjoy the chapter my friends!

I must admit that dinner wasn't that bad, and it was nice to spend time with the guys. It was just awkward as hell because I was sitting next to one Tommy Thayer. Granted I CHOSE to do so, but I'm not sure why...We accidentally touched several times and god it was like sparks and for some reason I kind of wanted more. He had seemed nervous and had at one point looked like he'd be sick, it worried me.

But I had to go and fuck things up and be an asshole. This occurred when I had to witness not just my drummer's gross eating habits, but Singer as well and god help me, those two idiots together. Just like Tommy, I thought it was gross and so I'd commented on that and seemed to know exactly what he was thinking. I stopped when I realized I almost had revealed something about myself, oh sure everyone knows about my rehab stints.... but the therapy for the depression, for hip replacements...I couldn't share that with him, not with him. I already felt too old for him, and not good enough. He could do better than some old-broken man.... or that's what I'm telling myself.

Then Tommy had to go and say that he loved Eric Singer, though I knew he really meant he wasn't in love with him...Still it for some reason made me jealous and being the bitter asshole, I am I said that his drummer and mine were a thing, but I was nasty about it. I was jealous that those two hit it off so easily and I couldn't be at such ease with the man sitting next to me. I immediately felt guilty when I noticed I'd hurt him and then was shocked when he fired back at me a bit. His slight anger and his hurt didn't sit well with me. No not at all...I apologized but it wasn't enough. Oh, god what this man does to me!

When we were at last leaving, once again I found myself falling into step with him, the both of us walking in the same rhythm into the night. Just as he was about to leave, I once again offered an apology, I NEVER did things like this, ever. Some parting words and then he was driving off, what that did to me...Seeing him leave seemed to make me sad, so I stood there until he disappeared.

Now, I'm back at good old' Mars Mountain. This great big house, all alone. Dinner and my interaction with Tommy playing in a continuous loop, it was making my head spin. How the hell will I ever be able to sleep? How?

I find myself in a beautiful botanical garden and I'm with my Tommy, Tommy Thayer. We seem to be holding hands and all is right with the world for once. I feel safe, I feel cherished, and I feel so loved. I feel whole and even young. We stop for a moment to admire the flowers, but I'm admiring something else or someone else...

"What? What is it Marsy, babe?", Tommy smiles at me and I smile back.

"Just admiring the view, space babe...god, you are so beautiful. How on earth did you ever fall for me? I-I just love you so much.", voice full of emotion.

Tommy takes his free hand and gently caresses my face, "Oh Mick, YOU are beautiful. I fell for you because you are you, those eyes, that hair and that smile. I love everything about you, for if you love someone you love everything about them, even their flaws."

"I don't want to ever let you go, never my love...I—I," I'm cut off by his lips on mine. Our kiss is everything, sweet & fire, passionate and loving and I feel sparks. It's like this all the time.... Such a sweet and tender moment that I'd never thought I'd have and then everything fades...

I wake up with a gasp, on my couch. I find that my face is wet, wait I've been crying? That dream or was it really a dream? What I felt...oh my...no. No this can't mean.... Am I in love with him? Why does he make me feel like I could drown? I could drown in him, in those chocolatey sparkling eyes forever. I ignore the pain in my spine and sit up right.... I will admit, to myself I feel things for Tommy, that I've never felt for anyone ever before. How can I bring myself to tell this beautiful man, that I—I love him. I feel my own eyes widen; I love him! I can't tell him though, I can't ....and sooner or later, more likely sooner I will fuck it up and hurt him and hurt myself. It's better if he doesn't know...right? Inthe very least I could quit being such a dick to him and maybe try to befriends and ignore what I want...

I finally, crawl into my bed...spine hurting, heart hurting and am unable to close my eyes. If I do, I see HIM. I'm too old for him, too bitter and all. He deserves so much better than me, that's what I tell myself. It's what I tell myself all night until it's almost daybreak and I at last fall asleep and once again dream of Tommy.

A/N: Oh can't wait to hear what you guys think of this! And Mick's dream or was it really a dream? Or was it fore-shadowing something to come? Mick admitted, at least to himself that he feels the same way about Tommy as Tommy feels about him, but still he won't let go completely and is denying himself, and still feels far too insecure to fall completely. It will take him some more time and Tommy too, it won't be easy getting there, but in the meantime maybe try and actually talk to Tommy more and maybe try and be friends...but will that help? Both need to communicate with each other...Hope you guys liked this chapter! Stay tuned for more!