The Heart of Mars & The Heart of Space (A Mick Mars/Tommy Thayer Love Story)

Chapter 18-Frantic Collapse (Tommy T.POV)

A/N: whoo-hoo! Yes a chapter out before I go to work! 

Mick had been reluctant, VERY reluctant to let me go after we arrived at the arena. After we parted, straight to the dressing room to drop off our stuff and then straight to sound check. Sound check manages to go ok, I still feel very much weird. Still moody, still antsy.... Ready to burst into tears and then into laughter just as quick. I mean I'm quiet but never this quiet...

I just really don't feel good, no not at all. I'm already exhausted, feel like I've never slept, and god help me haven't even actually started the show yet. I don't know how the hell I'm gonna do this. I hate being this lethargic, but what I hate even more is making everyone worry...especially Mick. Oh, Mick! I know he's worried and scared that he'll lose me.... that won't happen.... but something isn't right with me.

Sound check finally ends and thank god I can sit down; thought I've been guzzling water and ginger ale like it's been going out of style.... it's not enough. And I keep snapping at my bandmates to quit mother-Henning me and then immediately apologize and once again burst into tears. They are just worried after all, but I notice vaguely that Gene and Paul share knowing looks with each other and then send those looks my way. What the hell is that supposed to mean? I feel like I should know, I just want things to be allright....

Thankfully, we do manage to interact with Motley for a wee bit on the way to their sound check. Mick looks frantic and his eyes hold so much worry for me and widen slightly when they landed on me.

"Oh, Tommy...god, I hate saying this...please don't get mad, but you look terrible and like you feel worse than you did...I don't know if you should take something, I hate seeing you like this.", he says taking my hand in his.

"I'm not mad Marsy at you, I've been snapping at Gene, Paul and poor Eric, which I feel so bad for. And I do feel worse, maybe I'll take some Tylenol..." I trail off quietly really whispering my words.

"I don't like you going out on stage tonight AT ALL. I don't like you pushing yourself like this, when you clearly aren't feeling well...just please, please if you do this, I want you to be careful, but really to hell with the show if it gets be too much, ok?", Mick strokes my face gently with his free hand. "I love you Tommy Thayer; you are the light of my life and my soulmate." And with those words he kisses me. I can never get enough of his kisses...

Reluctantly we part and the guys and I head back to our dressing rooms to begin preparing for the show, you know make-up costumes etc. So finally, and once again I find myself clad in a robe and sitting at my station as I begin to apply my greasepaint. Despite my hands being a bit unsteady I don't make a mistake.... I look at my reflection and wait! I look even paler than I've been told I have been and suddenly a rocking sensation goes thru me and I drop my brush and grip the counter with a death grip. It passes quickly, but not quickly enough for my bandmates to  not notice...

"Whoa, Tommy...You shouldn't do this. I mean are you sure you can?", Gene asks in a concerned tone. I gulp down some more ginger ale, despite my rising nausea and it helps somewhat.

"Gene, I will get thru this show. I took like two Tylenol.... And wait, aren't we off tomorrow and staying at a hotel?", I ask.

"Yes, we are...it's rare to have downtime on a tour and especially one like this one. I don't care, if we must pull the plug now or later in the show tonight...Your health is more important. Just please be careful as you can if you insist on doing this." Gene replies his gaze stern.

"Tommy we've seen this before, I in Nikki and Gene in Vince...but you in particular seem to feel worse...Are you sure that you're not...", Paul chimes in concerned.

"Not what? Look I can't concentrate right now....", the rocking sensation returns but I manage to pick back up my make-up brush and finish off my make-up and oh.... from the sounds of it...Motley is on stage and the show began...wait how long have they been out there again? My mind is just so fuzzy right now.

Sooner than I realize Motley's set ends, And I am fully costumed and ready to go. There is a 30 min gap, roughly in between both bands sets so the roadies can dismantle one stage and do up ours.

At last, Motley comes to the backstage area...I'm laying down on a couch and god, why do they have to be so loud?! Mick immediately makes a beeline for me and carefully he lifts my head up to where I'm laying in his lap. Those icy blues of his darken to cobalt and are filled with such worry.

"Space-Angel...you look even paler than you did...and I can tell underneath all your make-up." His tone bordering on scared. I hate scaring him like this.

"I feel better with you here now," I reply. Should I tell him about the rocking sensation? About the nausea, the fact that those sensations seem to come and go? And then come back stronger? I don't have to it turns out, its plain to me that he can tell. "I love you Mick Mars...so very much. Sorry for making you and everyone else worry. Maybe its just really bad stress?"

Mick looks incredulous, not that I blame him. All too soon, I reluctantly must get up...gather my guitar, but not before I hug him for dear life. He follows us to the stage and takes his usual position watching me, it makes me feel safe.... but as the show begins, thankfully my fingers know what they need to do. The nausea just comes back, the rocking sensation comes back...it all comes back and with a vengeance. No, no! Not now...Somehow, I manage to get thru most of our set, but suddenly the rocking sensation which I finally register as dizziness really hits its zenith. I begin to sway and before I know it...I'm dimly aware that I'm on my knees. That there are gasps, coming from I assume the crowds, from my bandmates and Mick...oh no! The next thing I know is I'm on my back, but I can't really make out anything before I finally give in and pass out....

A/N: I assure you things will turn out ok! Hope you like this chapter! Much love!