BSD One-shots!!

Chapter 4: "Don't leave me.."

(AN: I just got this idea after watching BSD Wan episode 10 so enjoy lol)

One shot 4: "Don't leave me.."

ANGSTTTTT
Hurt/comfort
Happy ending 🥺
➡Wan spoilers probably⚠

~~

"If I had to go, I'd like to go out just as beautifully.."

From the moment he heard those words, they didn't set well with Atsushi.

He was worried.

He didn't want to worry anyone else at the time so he just brushed it off.

"I'd rather you stay." He said, a fake smile plastered on his face. Dazai didn't acknowledge him, but he just brushed it off.

But now, as he sat by the water, he didn't have to put on a fake smile. He didn't have to brush the thoughts to the back of his head. He just let them flow.

~~

It had been about an hour since everyone else had left. He stayed behind, saying that he was going to watch the stars. In reality, however, he was worried. He was worried that he was going to lose the very person he loved, the person that would always care for him and put him back together when he felt broken. He couldn't live without him..

And yet, he didn't know how to make him stay.. He would smile and tell him that he was loved and appreciated, but that didn't seem to be working for him.

~~

"Atsushi! What're you still doing here?" Dazai's voice was cheerful, contradicting the way he acted just an hour ago. It made Atsushi even more upset.

𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵..?

Dazai sat down next to the boy. "What's the matter, my love? You look upset." An arm was wrapped around his back. "Did the fireworks scare you?"

𝘋𝘢𝘮𝘮𝘪𝘵.. 𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘢𝘭𝘬.. 𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘦??

Without much thought, Atsushi unfolded from himself and launched himself into Dazai's lap and arms, wrapping his own arms around his neck. "Please don't leave me! I can't live without you!!" He didn't notice it, but he was sobbing now. "Don't die!"

Dazai was taken aback by the action, not knowing what to do. He wracked his brain, trying to figure out what could have made his boyfriend upset--

𝘖𝘩.. 𝘖𝘩 𝘯𝘰..

It suddenly clicked in his mind, and his heart 𝘣𝘳𝘰𝘬𝘦. Tears swelled up in his eyes. His own stupid obsession with suicide had taken a bad toll on his boyfriend.

He started crying.

It took a toll on Atsushi... And himself..

It took years, but he finally realized the toll this suicide dream had on his health and.. relationships...
All those years of holding it back, all those times he said he was okay, and everyone believed him. All those times he wished someone would finally see past his disguise of happiness.. And finally.. Someone did. But at a sad price.. He had unknowingly hurt the person he vowed to love and protect.

Dazai wrapped his long arms protectively around the smaller boy, pulling him to his chest. He buried his face in Atsushi's neck.

"I- I'm sorry-" He choked out. "I- I'm really trying but-"

Atsushi's eyes frantically met Dazai's. "N- No! Don't apologize! It's not your--"

Dazai interrupted him. "No, it is. I was stupid enough to-"

𝘋𝘢𝘮𝘮𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘮𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧? 𝘐𝘵'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘶𝘭𝘵!

"It's not your fault, Dazai!" Atsushi yelled, effectively shutting the brunette up. He buried his face in the brunette's chest. "Please don't blame yourself.. I was just worried.. I don't want to loose you.." Atsushi mumbled.

Dazai squeezed Atsushi tighter. "I'm not going to leave you. It's just.. Sometimes it's.. Hard.."

"I know.. It's okay.. I just.. You know you can always talk to me, right?"

"Mhmm.. I know. It's just.. You have your own issues and.."

"And you effectively help me through my bad days. Now let me help you. We can help each other." Atsushi looked Dazai in the eyes, a hopeful expression on his face.

Dazai let Atsushi go to wipe his tears, Atsushi doing the same.
The brunette smiled softly as he looked at his adorable lover. All full of determination to get better together.
That didn't seem too bad.. maybe it was worth a shot?

"Alright.. You can help me.." Dazai said finally. He wanted someone to help, but for years he couldn't find anyone. Maybe he finally did..

"Yay! Let's start by going home and sleeping. I'm tired." Atsushi held out his hands, offering them to the brunette.

Dazai smiled, taking the boy's offered hands and standing to his feet. Atsushi hugged him once he stood, Dazai immediately hugging him back. "Thank you, Atsushi.. I really appreciate it.. I truly do."

Atsushi smiled. "It's no problem, Dazai. I love you. Now, let's go home."

"Yeah. That sounds like a good idea. Maybe, after we're all rested up, we can go out for breakfast?"

"Sure, now let's gooo!!" Atsushi urged, pulling on Dazai's arm. That made Dazai laugh, as he started to walk beside his partner. They walked until they eventually arrived home.

~~

Atsushi unlocked and opened the door, ushering Dazai inside. The brunette did, immediately making his way to the bedroom. Atsushi followed once his shoes were off, and chuckled at the sight of Dazai sprawled out on the bed. He went over, too the brunette's shoes off, and joined him under the covers.

Dazai cuddled the boy into his chest, smiling and taking a deep breath. He was truly lucky to have this man in his life.. And he would tell him every day.

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AN: say it with me now.. THIS ENDING SUCKSSSS. I hate this ending but whatever ┐(￣ー￣)┌
Let me know what you think!

Thank you for reading!

REQUESTS: CLOSED FOR NOW

  - Julian🥀
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