Bonds and Family

Why?

Yeah, new chapter! Only the best quality entertainment for you! Also known as angst!

Ezra had been alone for half his life. Ever since he was seven to be exact. And now suddenly he is surrounded by people. People who were willing to take him in and feed him and give him an actual bed to sleep on (even if his roommate's smell and snoring made sleeping a difficult task). People who put other people's needs and lives before their own, who didn't turn their backs on the monstrosities of the Empire. People who jumped into action and took a stance, who protected those who couldn't protect themselves, a beacon of hope in this dark and twisted galaxy, just like his parents.

"If we don't stand up, who will?" Ezra covered his ears and shook his head in attempt to stop the ghostly voice of his father.

And then there was he, a dirty thief. A selfish boy who always turned his back to people who needed help. Who stole from the already struggling merchants. Who forgot everything his parents taught him, everything they fought for, the reason why...

They were all heroes. They would change the world. But he wasn't a hero. He wasn't like them. And he was afraid that sooner or later they would realize that. Actually he was afraid they already had.

Ezra sighed. The last two months have been difficult. Great but difficult. He pressured Kanan to start teaching him and yes he really wanted to learn. But childish enthusiasm wasn't the only reason behind his desperation. He couldn't do anything that was useful. Sure he could pick locks, or steal a couple of things here and there but that was it. Sabine was a Madalorian. A trained warrior and artist. Zeb was a warrior as well. Hera was an amazing pilot and Kanan? Kanan was so many things. A Jedi, a fighter, a leader. Even Chopper was more useful than him. He felt so much like a free loader those first days. The awkward atmosphere looming over the ship as everyone tried to get used to their newest member didn't help.

Ezra wanted to be useful. He wanted to be helpful and becoming a Jedi seemed to be the only way to do that. Sometimes it wasn't easy to always be surrounded by people. Especially when he thought that all these people were silently judging him and planning to get rid of him. Because he wasn't a hero, he was a thief. He wasn't useful. He was just another mouth to feed and they had every right to kick him out whenever they wanted to. Sometimes being around them felt suffocating.

This is why he was hiding in the small storage room. Ezra liked it in here. It was small and dark and quiet. He had been coming here often lately. A place where he could calm down and take a breath. A place where he didn't feel like he was suffocating. Problem was he was progressing way slower than he expected, mostly because he couldn't focus. But Kanan wasn't helping matters. He insisted on taking this slowly, a step at a time.

"Becoming a Jedi doesn't happen overnight kid. We have to take our time, okay? There's no need to rush this"

Ezra thought there was absolutely need to rush this. He wanted to learn everything. He wanted to be a fighter like Kanan. He wanted to be able to do...something.

"Ezra?" Kanan's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "Ezra? Are you here?"

For a moment he debated whether he should come out and reveal his hiding place or not. He figured that Kanan could just sense his presence if he didn't come out and find him anyway so he stood up and walked out of the storage room.

Kanan, who had his back on him, heard the door hiss open and turn to look at him. He smiled.

"There you are. Hera sent me to get you for dinner. What were you doing in there?"

"I...umm...meditating?"

"Meditating huh?" Kanan said with a fondly tone. He knew Ezra was lying. He always did.