Mika's World

Chapter 10: War and Love

Manny leans against my door wearing a blue jacket with his hands in his pockets. "Sure, we can talk", I answered and stood beside him. He looked visibly upset and kept rocking his head back and forth. "Ever since I met you... I've been attached. I don't know what it is about you. And that night we...you know, I just thought that it was special. At least to me", Manny said in a quiet voice. "I didn't mean to attack Nathan the way I did. But, seeing him hurt you made me furious. I blacked out.  Before I came to this school, I was bullied from my sexuality to the clothes I wore. I try to mask my pain with a happy face on the outside, but I'm still hurting and battling with my insecurities ", he continued. I felt so sorry for him. All this time he's been so sweet and kind, when really he struggles with a lot as well. I take his hand and interlock them with mine. "You know.....I fantasize about going to otherworldly places just to forget my life. To hide away from....everyone. And sometimes it gets so bad....that I feel like I'm going crazy. But I can't stop. I love being in my own world where I never know what's going to happen next", I shared with him. "I'm sorry for everything you've been through. I really am. But if you choose me.... I think I'll just cause you more pain", I added tearfully. Manny took his hand and wiped the tears from my cheek. "When you're ready to have me in your life, I'll be there to pull you back into reality", Manny said and kisses me. I kiss him back and hug him goodbye. Manny hops into his car without looking back and pulls off.
       I walk into my house and see Claire in the living room. She was on the phone talking with someone. "I don't know how you got my number, but don't fucking call me again!" She yelled and hung up the phone. Claire turns around and jumps when she sees me. "Oh you scared me! Um how's it going kid?", Claire choked out. "It's always an interesting day to say the least. Ex boyfriend?" I asked pointing at her phone. "Something like that", she said sitting on the couch. "Where's mom?" I asked now sitting beside her. "I set her up on a blind date", Claire answered. I bet that's going great. "I need some advice", I said reluctantly. I'm use to handling things on my own. The way that's  going isn't going to well. "Shoot", Claire said sitting upright to look at me. "Well, a friend had just recently came out to me and revealed that they are in love with me. And there's another boy who also confessed their love and beat the shit of a guy for me. Also I'm being harassed and black mailed by a guy in the closet, I think", I explained. Claire's face looked at me blankly and she scratched her head. "I got nothing kid. I'm definitely not the one you should come to with boy problems. That's why I'm single now." She then said. "Well, thanks for listening"  I said and head upstairs to my room.
          The hot warm water splashes on my face and body as I take a shower. I take a hand full of shampoo and run it through my hair. Hot showers are the best. I play some music in the background as I slow dance to Sza's Good Days. As I continue to sway in the shower, I feel the bottom of my feet become cold. Then I feel my feet glide to one side. I open my eyes and now see that I'm on the moon! At this point it doesn't surprise me. Good Days still played in the background and I dance on the moon while it rains. I felt like a fucking ballerina. I spun and twirled all around; defying gravity. I see someone else on the moon. It was Lunais. She dances towards me and grabs my hands. We spin around and glide through the air. I noticed she was also naked and just as soaked as I was. Her long dark hair levitated on the air and she smiled at me provocatively. I let go off her hands and spin towards another direction. I felt so free. As I try to kick my foot in the air, I lose my balance. I was caught by Motiv, who also appeared naked. "What do you desire Mika?", he asked while running his fingers through my hair. I stare at his beautiful build and think to myself. What do I desire? "I...I...I want...", I stutter. Before I could answer. A cold rush of water hits my face. I open my eyes again and appear back in the shower. I quickly shut the water off and wipe my face. Suddenly my knees feel weak and I sink down into the tub. I can feel tears fill my eyes. Why am I crying? I just feel overwhelming emotions hit me at once. Frustration, Anger, Sadness, and Pain.
          The next day, I wait by the lunch table with Jenifer where Troye usually sits. "Why won't you tell me why he's angry at you again?" Jenifer pouts while smacking on gum. "It's kind of personal, that's why" I said while searching for Troye. "Well he needs to hurry up, I'm tired of standing here. These heels are starting to hurt my feet", Jenifer complains. Dylan passes by me and bumps my shoulder. "Nice outfit, Mika", he said and continued walking. I was wearing purple Lakers Nike t-shirt with blue ripped jeans and white sneakers. I rolled my eyes and spotted Troye walking with Nathan toward us. Nathan's eye was black and he had stitches near his temple with a busted lip. "Move Mika", Troye demands. "No, not until you speak to me", I said standing my ground. Troye snorts. "You had your opportunity to talk that night. I'm done with that now", Troye said nonchalantly. "Well I'm not! You think you can drop a bombshell like that and expect to me to just automatically roll with it?" I said angrily. "Well it's been about a week and a half, you done processing it yet or you still need time to figure out whatever the fuck goes on in your head?" Troye snapped. "Come on guys, chill out", Jenifer plead. "Jen mind your damn business will you?", Nathan chimes in. "Why don't you shut up before you get your ass kicked again!" Jenifer yelled. The cafeteria started to look at all of us. Out of nowhere, Manny runs up to the group of us. "Mika you okay over here?" He asked stepping in between Troye and I. "What're you doing here, I thought you were suspended?" I asked nodding him away. "I came to pick up my homework and then I came to talk to you for a sec", Manny explained. "Good for you two. Why don't you guys go discuss over at your own table", Troye said directing us to move. "I'll discuss what I want, wherever I want!" Manny yelled now turning fully to Troye. "You need to back the fuck up out of my face", Troye warned. I try to pull Manny away but he pushes me into Jenifer. "Bro if you don't get your ass out of our sight!" Nathan yelled now standing up next to Troye. Then, all I can see is Manny take a swing at Troye. Troye dodges Manny's punch and stumbles back while grabbing Manny's shirt to pull him down. Nathan kicks Manny as he falls on top of Troye. A lunch aid quickly grabs Nathan away from the fight. Troye holds Manny in a headlock while they wrestle on the ground while Manny continuously punches Troye's back. Then some of the soccer players pull the boys away from each other and drag them from the lunchroom. Dylan appears behind me and Jenifer. "Look at the boys fighting over you. Seems you have trouble juggling two at once", he whispered in my ear and gropes my ass. I spun around and swung at Dylan, but Jenifer blocks my hit and pulls me to the side. Dylan let's out a loud laugh and goes to pick up Phoebe. "What the hell is gotten into you crazy son of bitches?!" Jenifer yelled while holding my only good arm. I get out of her grips and pull myself together. I'm so sick of this shit.
           I walk into my house exhausted from the day I've had. It's amazing I haven't started doing drugs. I see my mom talking on the phone; smiling and blushing. "Who are you talking to?" I whisper. "You don't know him", she answered taking the phone from her ear. Knock knock! I hear banging at the door. I jog to the door and open it to see a man standing there. He was tall with brown hair and eyes. It was like I was looking at an adult version of myself. It was uncanny. He looked too familiar. Then it hit me. "Dad?" I asked. "Hey son," he said back with a sad smile.