Mika's World

Chapter 19: Blast Off

"So tell me about your vivid daydreams?", Dr. Miyoung asked. I was at another one of these therapy sessions; this time at her office. "They started awhile ago. Um...they come on randomly. I'm sorry what does this have to do with my dead dad issues?", I asked while moving around in the couch. "Why are you so object to talking about them?", she asked. "Because I don't think it's relevant", I said rolling my eyes. "Alright, we'll leave that alone for now. How about you tell me about your sister Sarah", Dr. Miyoung said. I clenched fingers onto my jeans and looked towards the window. "I met her recently, around the time my dad died", I said. "And how is your relationship with her?", she asked. "It's...we're...we're giving each other space. Obviously, she's dealing with his death as well and that's that", I choked out. Dr. Miyoung scribbled some notes in her binder and nodded. "Mika, sharing your feelings and important information will make this easier for you and me to get down to the bottom of your panic attacks and delusions", She then said. I glared at the Doctor and stood up. "My sister resents me because my dad was never there for her, I killed a person who happened to be father, and I dream about different planets and aliens and shit! Just throw me in a nut house and call it a day!", I yelled. Dr. Miyoung said nothing and wrote down more notes. "Maybe my past diagnosis was wrong. You show symptoms of ADHD, but I can't be certain", She adds. I slumped on the couch and sighed. "So you're just going to be telling me all the mental illnesses I have? Great", I said. "I'm going to help you come to a resolve with your sister and your guilt. We have to push past the trauma so you can get better mentally", Dr. Miyoung. I stared at her for a moment and the only word going through my mind was bullshit. I nodded and left her office. No one can fix what's happening with me except me.
"I'm trying not to be difficult, it just feels like she's not listening", I complained. I was at Troye's house telling him about my session. "You have a hard time trusting or opening up to people", Troye said while caressing my face. "I know. And I'm working on it. I feel like I should just give Sarah her space like she asked. I do miss her though", I admitted. "What about Jen? Have you spoken to her after the incident?", Troye asked. "No. I know it was an accident, but she shouldn't have brought it up", I said taking his hand. "Key word: accident. She wasn't intentionally trying to hurt you. Jen feels really bad about it too", Troye explained. "Okay, I'll talk to her", I said and gave him a kiss. I sat up, but Troye pulled me on top of him and kissed me again. I always feel better when I'm with him. "So, I've been thinking about things", Troye said rubbing on my ass. I laughed and moved his hands. "And what might that be?", I asked. "After we graduate, I want to get an apartment together", Troye said gazing into my eyes.  "Wow...that's a huge step", I said nervously. "You want to get one here? In North Carolina? You've lived here your whole life. Don't you want to travel somewhere, anywhere else?", I asked. "Is there somewhere YOU want to go Mika? Because that's what it sounds like", Troye said now sitting up. I looked down and sighed. "I was thinking we could use to money I inherited and move somewhere else. Maybe Los Angeles or Atlanta who knows", I whispered. "You know I was planning on attending Duke", Troye said frustratedly. "Okay well this isn't only your future Tr-"And this isn't only yours", Troye interrupted me. Great, now we're fighting. "Can't you take it online or something?", I asked. "Run that back through your mind and see how selfish it sounds", Troye said with a frown. "I'm sorry, I just want to get out of this place. I hate it here, but you're the best thing to come from it. That's why I want you to come with me", I explained.  "What if I don't want to?", Troye asked. I looked at him and got off of him. "You're not willingly to compromise?", I asked. "I asked you a question", Troye said sternly. "You want me to choose between leaving here or leaving you", I said staring at him. Troye stared me down. "Not a hard question. If you loved me, you'd follow me anywhere", he then said. "Same to you", I said angrily. I felt tears building up in my eyes. Troye looked away from so he didn't see me cry. "Maybe we should take a break. Just to think about things", Troye said. I couldn't believe he was saying this to me. I stormed out of his room and headed outside. "Mika stop! Let me take you home", Troye yelled after me. "I'll walk!!" I yelled back.
    I was walking down the street sobbing and trying to regulate my breathing. No I am not about to have a breakdown. I finally reached my house and ran inside. "Mom!", I cried out. She wasn't home. I called her phone, but no answer. She instead sent me a text saying she was on a business trip and would be gone for a couple days. I called Jenifer. She didn't pick up, but I saw on her Snapchat that she was at a party with...Sarah. I felt a rush of anger fill my body. No one...no one will...answer me. I started to scream and break things in the house. I pushed down the Tv, broke dishes and glasses, knocked over the refrigerator, broke the table , smashed vases and threw the couch cushions about. I felt my veins popping and my heart jumping. I stared laughing hysterically,  took a frying pan, and threw it out a window. After I calmed down, I went upstairs to pack all my belongings. Then, I called a taxi to take me to the airport.
    At the airport I looked at all the flights going to different places. I wondered to myself, where do I actually want to go. "Boarding flight New York City leaves  in 2 hours", I heard over the speakers. New York City huh? I took my luggage and strolled towards the front desk. I was going to start a new life. Fuck high school and fuck everyone I've ever known here. It's time to worry about myself for once.  As I was about to board the plane, I looked down at my phone to see Troye calling. I swiftly declined the call and threw the phone in the trash can. Let's get the fuck out of this town Space Boy.

To be continued in the Sequel