Bullet | Suicidal Todoroki x Midoriya

1 | War

Shoto Todoroki

Shoto was unable to adequately express his unwavering, absolute love and gratitude for the family he began with Izuku Todoroki, or formerly, Izuku Midoriya. Married at the age of twenty, Shoto could not have been more thankful for his affectionate and compassionate husband. He devoted his all to Izuku, and merely a few years later, the two had adopted three children: Yuujin, Kirusuke, and Rina. Although raising the three kids certainly did not reside within the propinquity of Shoto's prowess, Izuku was a phenomenal caretaker of the three.

However, because Shoto struggled to express himself and constantly folded up his emotions into his back pocket, he wondered if the kids ever feared him. The kids seemed to be drawn to Izuku like magnets, and Shoto couldn't deny that he sometimes wished that his children would offer him the same affection as they smothered Izuku with.

It was dinned into Shoto's mind to never allow himself to become emotionally dependent on anyone or anything, but he desired to be a father that his kids could smile at and form firm bonds with. Yet, a thought jammed at the back of his head that was adorned with jagged teeth reminded him that it was perhaps for the better if his loved ones never forged considerable bonds with him. After all, as a unit in the military branch known as U.A., he was no stranger to war, and when summoned to fight, he was never guaranteed to survive.

While lingering in his remission from his grueling and gruesome duties that were away from home, Shoto scooped up Rina, his youngest child and only daughter. Rina seemed to be half-asleep, but upon being lifted from the armrest of the couch, her squinting, azure eyes silently exclaimed otherwise.

"Sleepy?" Shoto whispered with a warm silkiness to his husky voice, but Rina replied with a perfunctory shake of her head. "Yuu and Kiru are asleep. It's time for you to sleep as well." With deft, delicate digits, he patted the midnight locks of hair draped across his daughter's head.

From the corner of his eye, he caught the minute flicker of movement from the frothing peripheries of the shadows, but such a splash of shadow had simply been Shoto's husband poking his head around the corner. Izuku grinned as he gripped the wall, but Shoto exhibited no signs of a reaction to Izuku's presence.

"Okay, Dad," Rina murmured in a slurred string of stretched words.

With Rina's nose facing his spine and her chin resting on his shoulder, Shoto stood up to his feet. "You're not going to argue about it like your brothers?"

"No."

Sighing, Shoto nodded and carried Rina to her room. Like a bubble had formed in his chest and progressively inflated itself, he was cognizant that he wished to respond in a loving way, but he was uncertain of how to express it. The thought pushed on his ribs and pressed on his lungs, but it felt as though there was no proper way to extract such a vexing cloud of ponderous wonder.

After silently nestling Rina into bed and suctioning the light from the room, Shoto returned to the living room to see Izuku sitting on the couch with a smile. The two alternated between who tucked in the kids each night, but whenever Shoto's duty arose to lay the kids in bed, he couldn't help but wonder if the kids preferred the nights when Izuku would snuggle them into their beds.

As Shoto sat beside his husband, Izuku leaned up against him and chuckled, "Can you believe Rina's turning nine next week?" He tipped his head upwards to gaze into Shoto's blank eyes.

"It was bound to happen, wasn't it?"

Izuku's expression wavered like the light of an ember. "Well, yes, but it feels like just yesterday that we adopted them. Look at how much they've grown. I never understood why my mom would always say that to me, but I get it now." His brows arched a bit. "Is something on your mind?"