I Remember You

Drinking

Viane p.o.v

It's been 2 hours since I've been out and I'm drunken sitting in the allyway with a body of whisky I brought and I'm hugging it close to my chests as I haven't stopped crying yet... I've just been drinking and I feel numb now... there is no point living.

I hear people walking towards me but I don't look up I just continue to drink the whiskey and have my head rested on my knees while they are towards my hurting chest that just got ripped out hours ago.

"Baby" I hear a sob and look up to find my sister, Cc and Chella standing there while Chella looks beautiful I hate to see her cry so I stand up and walk over to her with the bottle still in my hand. I pick up my free hand and wipe the tears of her face while there are still ones going down my face. "I hate it when you cry my love, you don't deserve so much pain" I say then once again going back to the wall and slipping down it lazily and staring up at them while taking another swing. "Sister where have you been" my sister says coming forth and kneeling near me, I look up at her and say "here... I fell asleep for a bit then wanted to not feel anymore so I got up and went to the liquor store and brought this and came back" I say shrugging and taking another sip while my sister try's to take it off me but I hold on and get angry "STOP pleassseee this is the only thing that I will ever have to call mine... you have Cc to call yours I don't have anything Dez so please just let me keep this one thing... I can't feel the pain anymore I'm numb and I like it like that" I say then stand up again and go to Chella and she is crying again... I grab her hand with both of mine and hold it on my heart "Baby how come it hurts here" I say looking at her while she cry's harder while trying to grab me but I get out of her hold and take the bottle from the floor and start drinking again "Sister do you think I'm a good person" I say "yes Viane I think you are the best" she says then I fall over the dumpster and look up at her "then how come my love does not love me anymore" I say breaking down "I try Dez... I really do... what's wrong with me... is it because my last name is Satan is that why she dosent love me no more... is it because she didn't get to teach me to make s'mores cause I can learn I promise... I'll make her pancakes that's what I'll do... yessss she loves pancakes and....and she will love me again.... i...I'll..I'll give her puppy and flowers... her favourites are roses but not with the thorns so I'll have to get ones without thrones.... and...and" I keep rambling on and find Chella crying while trying to hold me but I keep moving back and talking "I'll marry her again... and this time after the war we will live in peace like we always wanted... we will have a fire and... we will be family again... and she'll love me again right Dez??" I say drunkly but hopefully Then I curl up on the ground and my eyes start getting hevy "My Chella will love me again... my Chella will marry me and we will live together forever like we always planned" I say smiling lazily closing my eyes "my Chella" I say in a whisper and blank out into sleep while cuddling the bottle of whiskey.

I wake up and find I'm back at my sisters house while I'm in my room in bed and realise how much my head hurts from how much I drank... "ughhh" I say holding my head then I hear soft breaths and look over the edge and I am both angry at myself and shocked to see Chella on the floor curls up with a blanket and a pillow... I quickly get up and bend down and carefully pick her up and lay her on my bed and smile "I love you... I know you don't feel the same but that dosent matter... I'll never love someone as much as I love you... yes you hurt me but I can't blame you... if you love him then I'm gonna be happy for you my love... just don't forget me ok" I whisper in her ear eventhough she isn't awake I kiss her forehead and look at her again and smile as she looks peaceful and I set myself in the ground with a blanket and a pillow and one of her hoodies to help me sleep as I have one of her hoodies I cuddle up to it on the floor and sleep with a smile on my face knowing I can smell her and I missed it.