ROSÉ -corpse husband-

4AM (7)

CORPSE  / PRESENT: MARCH 2021

"Corpse, can I ask you something?"

Corpse didn't sit on the phone with Rae very often. He talked to Karl a ton, and regularly texted Emma and Loey, but never really spoke on the phone. Not to anyone other than Karl, and even that was new for him.

But he felt bad that Rae was staying up so late for, not getting home from the music video shoot until nearly four in the morning. He was convinced the more she spoke, the sicker he could hear her becoming. He could hear her shuffle into her house, climbing the stairs now, sighing in exhaustion.

"Yeah," he grunted out. He had promised to stay up with her until she fell asleep to repay her for accidentally promising she would be home by one.

Machine Gun Kelly was a hard man to say no to.

"You never really explained what you meant about Eden."

Corpse imagined she was in her bathroom, from the echo he heard over the phone. She was probably taking off her makeup, taking her hair down.

Corpse had a bad habit of imagining what peoples lives were like. It helped him cope with the fact that he would never be able to see it for himself, as long as he forced himself to stay inside. He would drive himself mad before willingly leaving his house. He was sure of it.

"I- uh," Corpse sighed, groaning. "Rae, its hard to explain."

"You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to," Rae reminded, but Corpse could tell she was more curious than she was letting on.

"It's fine," he said quietly, his brain flipping through the memories, trying to find where to begin. "We met when she was in high school, I had already dropped out. Like all before the Corpse shit. She knew me before all of this, like way before. I made my channel after she already started streaming on Twitch and stuff, but I knew I couldn't do streaming shit because of the face cam shit. Um, we moved in together after she graduated, we had been dating for a year by then, so we moved in together. It was honestly really great until my health problems started. I was so in my own head. I broke up with her last March, told her I didn't want to drag her into my fucking drama. She still lived with me until our lease was supposed to be renewed in September. I renewed, and she didn't. I still live here, and she doesn't."

He was admittedly leaving a lot out. More than he cared to admit, but this late in the night, he refused to talk through his feelings. He wasn't in the mood to cry.

"So when you guys fought in September, that was-"

"Yeah, it was real. Probably the worst time of my life honestly. We're lucky as fuck that wasn't on stream," Corpse downplayed.

"If you still loved her though, why did you break up with her?"

And Corpse knew Rae wasn't trying to be malicious, but she hit a soft spot. Corpse had been thinking that since the day he told her. He didn't get it either, the only thing he got out of his breakup was a hell of a lot of good songs.

"I don't know, Rae," Corpse sighed. He would have to open up eventually. "I was down bad about my health to be honest with you. It's a lot worse than I've said before. Like a lot worse. It was better then than it is now. And Eden... god, she was a saint through it all. She would fucking do anything to help me out, and I fucking let her go."

Corpse was more angry with himself than anything. Eden, although she was a pain in the ass now, had been so incredibly patient with him when he was struggling, going as far as paying his portion of the rent when he was getting drunk every night, drowning in the loss of his life.

So yeah, he was a dick for ending it with her. But September... September was Eden's fault.

"But, when she left here... and the shit she said in-game... I lost a lot of respect for her honestly," he ranted. "She decided to leave, I never kicked her out. I fucked up a lot, but you can't fucking tell someone they deserve to die if they're not going to do anything with their life. I... that shit hurt my feelings, I can't lie."

"Yeah. She was really mad," Rae said simply, and Corpse could hear the exhaustion in her tone.

"Rae, go to bed," Corpse tried to laugh, but honestly, bringing this up again was painful.

"I... I want to know more, but I'm so tired."

"Later, Rachel, later. Love you."

"Mmm... love you too."

Corpse hung up knowing Rae was half-asleep already.

Corpse felt drained, and he hadn't even done anything productive.

He had suppressed so much of Eden, he had nearly forgotten about September, and he wished he could forget again.