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Hey guys, I know I've been gone for awhile and I apologize for that.
A lot has changed, I've been on spring break for a little bit, I started going to the gym, got new phone, started seeing my friends again, taking care of my niece etc... so my updating schedule is gonna be a bit different. I'm almost done with school, like two more months, and then I'll be able to write freely.
Once again, I'm so sorry for my absence and I'm sorry if you don't remember writing or where you left off. I love you all though and I'm working so please don't give up on me.
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I don't know how long I stood there after she left.
When the door closed, it felt like she took everything with her— my heart, my body, my mind, and my soul. I felt lost without direction, meaningless as a person, clueless as idiot. The door had closed and it was like she really had said goodbye.
Something in me broke.
It broke so bad I could feel the shards stab at my chest, killing me internally and physically. Nothing held more gratitude than her and now she was gone.
What did I do?
How could I fuck this up this bad?
I knew I had lied to her. I shouldn't have. I should've just been honest and laid out all my cards on the table, told her who I was behind the mask, by the facade everyone saw me as. I was a monster, savage, and ruthless than my brothers. I was a murderer who killed for sport and I had just killed the love of my life's hopes and wishes of being a good man, someone she could trust, someone she could share her life with, someone she could marry.
I destroyed it all and for what? Nothing was as important as Y/n, nothing.
I was so angry.
I felt like obliterating everything in my wake, letting this castle crumple under the weight of me and my fucked up problems. In that moment, I wanted to hurt someone, crush them into pieces so they could feel the agony, the pain, and the regret that was pounding in my head like a hammer. It was a constant reminder of the damage I caused, the mess I made, the mess I didn't think I could fix.
"Fuck," I swore angrily and suddenly my hands were crashing down onto the dresser, knocking all the items off there as I tore it off the wall.
Once I began my path of destruction, nothing was stopping me.
The bedsheets flew off the mattress, my hands shredding the tables, the chairs, smashing the mirrors. Blood blurred my vision as I continued throwing a fit like an petulant child. By the time I was done, I couldn't even recognize the space. Too much had been damaged to figure out how to place or put things back.
