Chapter TWENTY TWO

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Mikki De'lucca

After everybody has gone to bed and the house is quiet, tipsy on a little too much cinnamon whisky you tiptoe quietly down the hallway, determined to tell the Cowboy the truth.. The whole truth..

As much of it as you can manage at least.. That is what you had finally settled on in your liquor induced haze..

After digging so many of his secrets out of Juliette, you are beginning to see why though he is kind, Colt can behave so secretive at times, even becoming skittish and cold around certain subjects..

He walks a path as twisted and treacherous as your own, and in knowing that, you feel a renewed sense of connection to the man.. You feel empathy and understanding for him.. What's more, you feel drawn to him.. Colt Knox is like a magnet, pulling you in, attracting you with those deep ocean-blue eyes and golden locks.. His carved muscles call to you and his citrus-scent does silly things to your senses..

Whenever you find yourself alone with the gorgeous Cowboy, just about the only thing you can think about is kissing him.. Kissing him.. Climbing him.. Riding him..

Oh, if only.. If only you could have him..

But you can't..
Partly because Colt seems to have little interest in taking you to bed.. Sure he teases and flirts with you, but when presented with an opening, he never takes it.. Much to your disappointment..

But mostly your sudden desire to confess comes from an increasing awareness that you can't keep creating chaos and leaving the consequences unanswered.. You can't continue living in partial truth and perpetual deceit.. You are tired of the secrecy and lies that have now consumed your innocence, swallowing up the truth of who you really are..

Or who you want to be, at least..

You fought so hard to be a good person all your life.. You tried to rise above the legacy you'd been born into.. But after losing Charlie, you'd lost sight of that and defeat began to set in.. Then apathy.. Which eventually burnt away, leaving only bitterness and resentment behind.. Somewhere along the way you'd fallen for the allure of vengeance, allowing bloodlust to take a front seat and drive you right into the ground.. ..

You don't want to be filled with this poisonous hatred anymore.. A venom in your veins that serves you in all the worst ways, leaving you exhausted from all the fighting.. Clawing tooth and nail just to survive a family in which you feel as though you never belonged..

It had taken meeting Colt's family, and seeing the lengths to which they would go to protect and care for each other to make you see.. That is what a real family is supposed to be like..

Juliette caring for old man Kincade, even though it clearly adds a great deal of stress and difficulty to her everyday, demonstrates the kind of love a daughter should have for her father..

And Colt's dedication to provide for and support his cousin's widow, speaks volumes to you of the compassion in his heart..

These are good-hearted, honest, hard working people..

And you want so badly to belong with them, to be deserving of their friendship.. You want to be one of them..

You don't want to be ruthless anymore..

For a second you wonder if maybe now the Belladonna is leaving your system that perhaps you're thinking the clearest you have in months..

Everything just got so far out of hand.. And now is the time has come to set it right..

You need to set everything right..
And therein lies a new problem..
You have no idea how to do that..

As determined as you had been to get your revenge on Angelo, you are more determined now to find a solution and a much needed separation from the Dynasty..
Being here at Riverland Ranch has made one thing so transparently clear to you..

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