Flabberwocky

13 - A bit of a do

Lawrence thought his day had started badly, but little did he know how bad it was going to get. He could sense something odd was going on as soon as he turned the key in the lock on his front door. He walked into the dining room hoping to find Molly, but instead Dad was waiting for him, "I've had a policeman on the phone Lawrence, a sergeant Davies, I'm very concerned by what he told me, do you have anything to say for yourself?" Lawrence stared blankly trying hard not to shrug his shoulders as he knew it would make Dad more cross. "Come on son, tell me your side of the story?" Lawrence didn't have a clue what he was supposed to have done, which in turn meant he had no idea what to say. He resorted to smiling nervously and looking down at the floor. "Do you think this is funny Lawrence, is this all a big joke to you? I doubt you'll be laughing when sergeant Davies comes to speak to you tomorrow." This last sentence was enough to shock Lawrence's vocal chords into action, "what? a policeman is coming here? whatever they say I have done, it's a case of mistaken identity, it must be Barry!" Dad stroked his forehead as if trying to rub the tension away, "same old excuses Lawrence, inciting religious tension is what you've been accused of." Lawrence replied in an abrasively high tone of voice, "what does that mean?" "That's what I said, apparently you instigated a police raid on a religious festival, I thought you were normal, I didn't think you even liked religion, you always turn it over when Sunday worship comes on the telly." Lawrence pulled out a dining chair and flopped into it, "please Dad, can you ring him back and say they've got the wrong person, it wasn't me." Dad sighed, "well, can you tell me where you went so early this morning?" Lawrence looked up to the ceiling, "I went to the biscuit estate to see someone." The vagueness of his reply did little to relieve the furrowed lines on Dad's forehead, "the biscuit estate is where the pagan festival was, apparently a call from someone at this address told the police there was going to be an organised riot!" Lawrence huffed, "yes, so why did they only send two policeman!" Dad jumped to his feet and banged the table with his palm, "so you do know all about it then Lawrence!"

The stress of the day mixed with the fright caused by Dad's loud table slap was just enough to push Lawrence over the edge, predictably he started crying. Dad sat back on his seat feeling guilty for losing his temper while Lawrence sobbed and snivelled into his hands. He was trying to cry silently but had no control over his loud intermittent intakes of breath. "Come on son," appeased Dad, "obviously someone has got their wires crossed somewhere, why don't you tell me what happened." Lawrence lifted his head just enough so Dad could see his puffy red eyes, "it wasn't a pagan festival, it was a witch trial." Dad looked confused, "that's what a pagan festival is isn't it? they're all about naked morris dancing and sacrificial barbecues, why didn't you just let them get on with it?" Lawrence didn't appreciate his Dad being so flippant, "it wasn't like that, I thought they were going to kill her." "Kill her?" Dad was trying very hard to see things from Lawrence's point of view, "how did you know they were going to do that, did you see a gun?" Lawrence wiped his eyes with his fingers, "no, they had eggs." "Ok," said Dad, "does that mean something different to you?" Lawrence ignored the question so Dad asked another, "who were they going to kill?" He was fully aware how ridiculous his replies sounded, but had no other choice than to say them anyway, "a witch, but listen Dad, they were psychopaths, you should have heard them, the noise was awful, one had a big drum, and one had a really loud recorder." Dad was now finding it difficult to stop himself giggling, "so, what did the recorder playing psychopaths do with the eggs?" Lawrence misjudged the sincerity of his father's question, "they put one through her letter box!" Dad couldn't hold his feelings inside any longer and burst into fits of laughter. Lawrence couldn't see what was so funny and found his Dad's response infuriating. Assuming his interrogation was over, he got out of his chair and made his way up to his room.

As he climbed the stairs Lawrence could see Molly sitting on her bed in her bedroom through the gaps between the banisters. After giving his eyes a good rub on his sleeve he decided to casually lurch in her doorway, "how's it going sis?" Molly was reading a magazine about hair, he could think of nothing more boring than looking at pages and pages of people's hair. "What do you want Lawrence? I'm going out in a few minutes." "Not much really, just wondered if you knew Brando Norris?" Molly looked up at him from her magazine and laughed, "everyone knows Brando Norris, he's horrible, what was Dad shouting about downstairs?" Lawrence tutted, "yeah, tell me about it, he gets worried about me going out." Molly turned the page of her magazine, "I think he's got the male menopause or something, he has been swearing and banging around all morning, just because he lost the back door key." Lawrence guiltily felt the back of his trousers to check the key was still in his pocket. "It's Panda I feel sorry for," continued Molly, "that Brando has got a right thing for her, he's always hassling her at school or getting his mates to say crude things, once he said he'd give her fifty pounds if she'd go to Beefy Beefs with him." Lawrence thought that sounded like a pretty good deal, "doesn't he fancy you?" Molly looked up momentarily to give him one of her glares. "Do you remember you owe me a favour?" asked Lawrence. She closed her magazine and sat up, "you what?" "Well, you know I agreed we should go to Shortbeach instead of Spain, I did that for you, so now you owe me one." Molly was glaring again, "you did that for us!" Lawrence decided to resort to begging far sooner than he usually would, "oh please Molly, please do this for me, I want to go to Barry's party, but he'll only let me go if you come." "Oh great," she sighed, "so now Barry fancies me, that's all I need, being the centre of that chubby loser's fantasies." Lawrence paused before reassuring her, "no, don't worry, it's Panda he fancies." Molly frowned and shook her head at him, "oh, thanks a lot Lawrence, thanks a lot." Lawrence could sense she wanted him to go away now, but he didn't really want to leave her room until he had a definitive answer, "so, do you think you can come to the party? his Dad's going to be there." Molly replied in her typically patronising way, "oh wow, hang out the bunting, chubby Daddy, can't wait, remind me to go and pick out a ball gown." While he was aware that he'd irritated her, he still wasn't sure what her answer was, "so is that a yes?" Molly sighed again, "well there is something you can do for me actually," "Ok," smiled Lawrence, "what can I do?" "You can give me that ten pounds you saved out of your birthday money, I need to buy some sunglasses for the holiday." Lawrence reluctantly agreed, though thought an umbrella might be more suitable for Shortbeach. "So you'll come then, and you'll bring Panda?" "Yes," groaned Molly, "I'll bring the love goddess, I'll see you here at seven, now go away." Lawrence did as he was told, he couldn't believe that after all these years he was finally going to meet Barry's Dad.