Chapter 1

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When Jack's taxi pulled up at the house Alex was sat on the front steps with a bottle of whiskey sat beside him and a half-empty glass in hand. After receiving a text that said nothing beyond "She's gone" Jack hadn't expected things to be good, but he hadn't expected things to be quite this bad either.


Alex and Lisa had always had a fairly turbulent relationship, even when they were young. They'd been on and off so many times Jack had lost count, they were always breaking up and disappearing on each other, but they always ended up back together one way or another.


Admittedly Jack had thought they'd managed to get past all that. They'd been married for four years now and while it hadn't exactly been smooth sailing no one had bailed on things. Not until today anyway.


Wordlessly Jack went and sat down next to Alex. His expression was blank, and his eyes were distant.


"She'll be back in a week." Jack offered quietly when it became apparent Alex wasn't going to say anything. He shook his head. "This time was different; she took all her stuff with her." He took a large mouthful of the amber liquid and grimaced. "Told me she never really loved me. It was just about what I could give her."


Jack cringed. Alex had developed some pretty deep-set trust issues over the years so that would have hit hard.


"Can you believe that?" He muttered bitterly. Jack really couldn't.


"Have you guys been arguing recently?" Jack knew to tread lightly; Alex was raw and vulnerable right now. "Nope. That's the weirdest part, things have been really good lately. It doesn't make sense." Jack didn't know what to say.


Instead, he just wrapped an arm around Alex's shoulder and squeezed gently. "Is there anything I can do?" Alex gave a small emotionless smile.
"You can get fucked up with me." Jack gave a small smile, knowing he had to at least try to be the responsible one here. "You know that's not going to make anything better." Alex rolled his eyes.
"Maybe not but it beats sitting around blubbering."


Jack was terrible with crying people; he never knew what to say or do. Alex was more than aware of that.


"Alright fine but don't go bitching me out tomorrow when you're feeling like shit both emotionally and physically."


Alex had always been an affectionate drunk but when Alex was sad, he was even more so.


He was cuddled up into Jack's side, pressed firm against him with his head resting on Jack's shoulder. He was looking up at him with big innocent eyes and a sad little pout. It made Jack's heart melt.


"Am I really so unlovable?" He was looking desperately up at him, and it hurt Jack to hear those words fall from his lips. "No Alex, you're not."


If Jack was completely honest, he'd been in love with Alex for almost as long as he'd known him. He'd just gotten used to the fact he was never going to feel the same way.


"Then why does this keep happening?" Jack sighed; this was really not the time to be having this conversation. "Maybe you're just looking for love in the wrong place." Alex frowned a little more.
"I've never had anywhere else to look." Jack bit his tongue, forcing himself to stay quiet and not say something stupid.

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