𝐿𝑜𝓈𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝑀𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝒪𝒻 𝑀𝓎𝓈𝑒𝓁𝒻

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⚠️tw *anxiety disorders* includes schizophrenia, separation anxiety, and medication⚠️ (an: I try to do as much research on the topics in this story. But I'm still learning how everything really goes down, such as what certain medication can do to one's personality, or how having a disorder can affect one. So just an apology if I mess up something lol.)
Troian's pov:



I wake up to a storm and Billie on the opposite side of the bed at around 1:00 AM.

I'm normally not one to be scared of storms, but since taking my new meds, I've been changing and my personality has been shifting because of it.

I quickly stumble to find billies body in the dark room, clinging onto her.

I whimper when I hear loud thunder strike.

I hide my head in her back, trying to calm myself, finding my brain bringing me to the thought of heaven.

My breathing slows, thinking about star. I need to go back. I wanna see the stars.

"Star." I whisper, feeling my eyes tear up, and sting.

Everything would be ok is I was there.

I start to shake, again, hearing the thunder. All I want, is to be at heaven. It takes care of me, it's peaceful and beautiful. It's kind and inviting.

I pick my shaking body up from the bed and stumble to my bathroom, crying.

I feel my throat clog up, as cries and whimpers leave my lips.

I stomp to the toilet, immediately throwing up once I've made it there.

I gasp for air, feeling my body go hot and shake more rapidly out of fear and sickness.

A sting of cries and hiccups leave my throat, despite for some air, as I start to feel light headed.

A light switches on, and I hear a gasp, then arms wrap around me.

"Oh my god! Troian! Baby what's wrong?! What happened! Are you sick!" She talks frantically.

I just cry, shake, scream, throw up... I'm a mess.

"Fuck." Billie mumbles as I gag and puke again.

She ties my hair up, rubbing my back.

"Fuck fuck fuck." She panics, seeing my struggle to breathe. "Breathe angel, breathe." Billie says, starting to tic.

"I want to go b- back." I gasp, crying, hugging my knees to my head.

"Back where mamas?" She asks calmly but panic still set in her tone.

"I don't like it here! I wanna go back! Please take me back h- home!" I say, a dry hiccup rising, causing my throat to feel almost burnt and sore.

I can't keep eye contact with Billie, my vision is blurry and just as shaky as my body, sending me into panic mode.

"Baby this is your home." She says.

This only upsets me more, making me cry harder.

"H- heaven." I cry.

𝒮𝑒𝒸𝓇𝑒𝓉𝓈 𝐼𝓃 𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒲𝑜𝑜𝒹/𝒷.𝑒Where stories live. Discover now