𝒮𝑒𝒸𝓇𝑒𝓉𝓈 𝐼𝓃 𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒲𝑜𝑜𝒹/𝒷.𝑒

𝒞𝓊𝓇𝑒 𝑀𝓎 𝒞𝓇𝒶𝓏𝓎

⚠️tw⚠️ (an: I'm still leaning how schizophrenia can come out in people. Like different types n shit. So bare with me if this seems a bit weird. I've been doing research on the diagnosis because I'm just very intrigued to learn about it, so hopefully these make sense lmao.)
Troian's pov:
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"Anywhere special you'd like to go today, my love?" Billie asks, smirking at me mischievously, raising a brows up and down.

I giggle. "Oh no. What's that look?" I say, smiling, leaning my forehead to lay on her cheek.

Billie wraps an arm around my waist, leaning her head further on mine.

I sigh and get on top of her, hugging her. "What happened last night...? No one will tell me, Billie." I say, a sudden "moment ruining" tone.

Billie sighs. "You just... had a small... I don't know honestly..." she says.

"Billie you know." I say slightly stern.

"I really don't, mamas. I'm sorry." She says, hugging my waist.

I sigh, feeling my eyes tear up. "All I know is I left with more meds, Billie." I say, my voice cracking.

"Oh baby." Billie whispers, holding onto me tighter.

I don't know what came over me, but I push myself off of her, and I run into my bathroom, turning on the shower.

"Troian?!" Billie says, getting up after me frantic, running into the bathroom with me.

I hold back my tears and smile at her. "Chill. Imma just take a shower. I feel smelly." I say, softly pushing her out.

"...ok." She says, giving me a worried look.

I smile and kiss the corner of her mouth. "Be out soon, lovey."

I then close the door in her face, my back immediately hitting the door, as I fall down and curl into a ball, crying on the floor.

I hold my knees to me chest, but immediately push myself up, getting naked, and in the shower.

I glance at my razor, getting visions is me taking it apart and using it to cut. 

I take a couple deep breaths, but then them being caught as i cry, making me choke and cough.

Damnit. Shut up. I thought to myself, hoping Billie wouldn't hear and get suspicious...

I contemplate taking apart my razor... knowing I'll use it if I do. And I know if I use it... I'll regret it. Or maybe I won't...

I cry and hold a hand over my mouth, as I slowly pick up the razor...

⚠️tw⚠️ *delusions*

Don't do it Troian. You know it's bad. It's not worth it. It won't help. I tell myself in my head.

*Do it. You'll stop crying.

*You deserve it.

*You're just a psycho mental patient, waiting to happen.

*You're worth nothing. Everyone hates you anyway.

*Billie hates you.

Voices that weren't mine speak in whispers and screeches... each sentence is a new voice.