saudade ~ skyrim oneshots

miraak

Requested: no
Reader: female
Relationship: romantic
Date completed: 4/3/21
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Modern AU! Y/e/c stands for "your eye color".

Miraak arrived at the plain office building, his stomach twisting. Ever since he barely managed to escape prison, he couldn't help but feel unsafe everywhere he went. After all, fugitives weren't exactly welcome in Skyrim.

He'd taken years to get out of Apocrypha. He was sure that the guards would be hunting him down, but before he was dragged back to that shithole, he wanted to see her again.

The receptionist at the front desk looked up from her computer, an unfriendly scowl on her face.

"You must be the new patient. Go take a seat over there." She pointed at a small waiting area.

Miraak swiftly sat down. After a few minutes, the receptionist directed him to a separate room.

There y/n sat, her eyes fixed on her clipboard. Miraak noticed her clean appearance, but it seemed her attitude had completely changed. She looked exhausted, fed up, whatever you could call it.

"Hey." Miraak said. Y/n looked at him.

"Hello. You're... Carson, right?"

Miraak nodded, slightly disappointed. "That's me."

"Great. Let's get to know each other. Would you like to go first?" Y/n asked, but it was more of a request.

"Um...I uh..." Miraak struggled to form a sentence. He didn't know what to say to her.

"Here," y/n grabbed a box of cards from the small table next to her chair. "Pick one of these, then answer the question on it."

Miraak picked a card. "What is your favorite color? I like y/e/c. It's pretty."

"That's nice." Y/n picked a card. "What do you think about the current president? Ulfric is an ass but an okay-ish leader."

The two continued with the card picking and answering questions until the session was over.

"I think today was a good session. I'll see you again, same time next week." Y/n forced a smile.

Miraak nodded and left.

Y/n wanted to cry. She wanted to scream and yell and punch that man. She wanted to bury him so she wouldn't have to feel the guilt. She kept telling herself, "it's been years, y/n. Move on already." But she couldn't.

When he scheduled that appointment, her heart sank. She knew exactly who he was, but told herself the voices were just similar. When he entered her office, though, she confirmed it. He was alive and out of Apocrypha. For how long, she didn't know.

She was surprised that she could finish the session. She knew he noticed how she was in a shit mood. After all, she was the reason Miraak was sent to that prison. He took blame for her mistakes.

She wanted to keep the fact she knew he was here, in her office, talking with her, a secret. She wanted him to forget they were even together.

He wanted to see her and he wanted her to recognize him. He wanted to know he hadn't been forgotten. He silently questioned himself that night if she had moved on.

She silently questioned herself that night if she was a coward for not speaking up.

The sessions continued. Each one distancing the two even more as they both realized the other wouldn't say anything.

Soon, Miraak stopped showing up, and
y/n knew that was the end of it.