Still With You | JK ff

Chapter 8: Truth be told!

Jungkook's eyes opened to the muted glow of sunlight streaming in through the white satin curtains flowing with the wind at the window. Before his senses could fully come alive, a dull stab awakened in his heart. He sighed as his mind immediately wandered to the memory of how Y/N had stood by herself in the yellow spotlight of the streetlamp the last time he had seen her, how her hair had glistened in the glow with her face concealed under a shadow, and how his jacket had hung loose on her body as her bag bored down into her shoulder. He kept his eyes squeezed shut and slowly went over every single detail he could remember of her face - the tiny freckles scattered on her cheeks, the small mark on her forehead from an old injury, the almond shape of her luminous eyes, the furrow between her brows when she frowned and the lines on her lips when she smiled. Despite the persistent ache that reminded him of her every second, he was afraid that he might wake up one morning to find her fading from his memories, reduced to just a bleak sensation of how she had once made him feel. He clung to her memories like a vulnerable little boat keeping a desperate man from being swallowed whole by a ruthless dark ocean.

He opened his lids slowly, letting the afternoon light burn his eyes. He scanned the unfamiliar, clean white surroundings warily - It had been three weeks, four days and thirteen hours since he had last seen her, he counted as his eyes rested on a clock that ticked away at half past noon. It had also been that long since he had last slept until after the sun was out, he sighed as he burrowed his head back into the thick pillow under him, feeling dizzy from even the slightest movement. His eyes flickered nervously to the needle of the drip taped to his right hand.

The weeks after that night, had seemed to pass by in a frenzied hallucination to Jungkook. He had to travel to Japan for BTS' tour and had welcomed the busy schedule filled with press events, dance rehearsals, fan meetings and concerts. Every remaining second that he had got for himself, he had thrown himself into materializing the childhood dream that was beginning to shape into a reality in his mind.

As an incredibly shy young kid, Jungkook had found himself crippled by self-consciousness and feared any form of attention on himself. His perceptive observations would always note the difference between himself and the other children of his age, who seemed to express themselves unhesitatingly. His young mind often associated this difference as his shortcoming, which made it difficult for him to make friends. It was for this reason that Jungkook had fallen in love with art almost immediately, when he had first been handed colors at school. Not only did it give the many multifaceted thoughts locked inside his imaginative mind a release, it gave them wings. He found the courage of self-expression in the vivid strokes of his brush on a canvas, and an escape from the overbearing world in the release of paint from a tube.

Before he had even discovered his voice, and auditioned for the national talent competition, he had always dreamt of becoming an artist and having his work displayed in a gallery. Even though that dream was pushed to the backburner when he joined BTS and they worked hard to make a name for themselves, he always returned to painting to find solace. When Jungkook bought his own first apartment, he even converted one room into a studio, where he often escaped to unwind – it was the only time when he truly enjoyed solitude. Over the years, the humble dream of a timid teen transformed into an elaborate plan of an idol who wanted to use his resources to nourish the dreams of other aspiring artists, just like he had once been. He often floated ideas of establishing an art foundation to Sejin, but nothing ever solidified because his pursuit of perfection always left him unsure of himself.

In the days after the chance encounter with Y/N however, Jungkook quickly realized what he had been missing all this while – he had needed a trusted partner. Someone who could dream through his eyes and help him bring it to life. Now that he felt he had found one, someone who was unimaginably talented and just as passionate about art as he was, floodgates of inspiration opened in his mind, releasing all inhibitions that had held him back before. Now that he could see that dream shaping into reality, he felt the restless awakening of passion within him that often happened when he set his mind on anything. There was nothing that could stop him now, not with Y/N by his side.