At the End of the Garden

Chapter Twenty-Five

It was movement that woke me, or it suddenly stopping, at least. It almost pushed me off the backseats and onto the floor. Horrible motion sickness hit me as I tried to figure out where I was. My bed didn't usually move or smell like new leather and I couldn't usually hear ticking. A couple of seconds later I realised I was in the a car, laid across the backseats like a child. I could just about make out the back of my mum's head in the drivers seat in front of me.
My bag was laid on the floor in front of me, my books spilling out of it, though I could barely tell what it was under the dim brightness from the white streetlights outside. The ticking turned out to be the indicator, we were at a set of lights, it eventually stopped and we began moving. The only sound left was the rain hitting the roof outside and the windscreen wipers.
The sound of me shuffling and sitting up alerted Fay, she turned her head slightly to check on me, then returned her eyes to the road.
"I don't want to hear a word out of you." She said.
I was still too dazed and sleepy to answer back. So I just slid into the seat by the window diagonally opposite my mum. I could see the corner of her mouth and one of her eyes, she wasn't giving away anything.
I hadn't fallen asleep here, I'd finally remembered. I'd been in Eden's bed. Victor Quinn must have called Fay to pick me up.
How had I got to the car? My mum couldn't have carried me, maybe when I was eight but not now. It must have been Victor. He must have touched me. That was gross, wrong. I would have felt better if he had kicked me until I woke up and made me walk home.
We hit the next set of lights and Fay Park Scarlet changed her mind about not wanting to hear my voice.
"Why... What made you think this was a good idea?" She said, then clarified, "breaking into his office."
It was a hypocritical thing to say. Surely, the bad decisions started when Eden was born. I was too tired and nervous to put that into words and what fell out of my mouth the most childish thing:
"It wasn't my idea, and we didn't break in either, we had a key."
"That's the wrong answer, Marie."
What did she want from me? An Apology?
She continued, "the most sensible thing you could have done was come to me when you found out. We could have gone through this like adults."
"Why would I do that?" I was starting to wake up, but was still too tired to control what I was saying or hold my tongue. "Surely, the most sensible thing would be to tell us from the beginning."
Fay hummed a sort of laugh.
"You can blame me all you want, but I'll have you know it was Evelyn who wanted that."
"What? Why?"
My mum cackled. "She really got it into your head too, that she was some perfect little angle who could do no wrong?" She said, before tutting. "No. She was happy to lie to Eden so she could play happy families."
I had nothing to say. Although, all I could think about was how she must have been lying. All Fay did was mince words for money, making everything sound like she was right. I wasn't sure what she had left to lie for, maybe just to win my favour even though there wasn't a chance in hell she was getting that.
"I don't believe you."
"I didn't think you would." She sighed, "she always left a good impression on people."
"What do you mean?"
"It's okay. I know you looked up to her. She was very, oh what's the word, kind. I didn't quite have the heart to break it to you that she was lying. But if you still think she's so great maybe you can follow in her footsteps and kill yourself too!" She laughed to herself as if something she said was funny.
I found myself sinking into the seat, feeling sick. I was accustomed to my mother's dark humour, but this time I couldn't stop myself from being repulsed. I waited until she was done cackling to herself to speak again.
"Do you know why she killed herself?"
"Hmm?" She seemed surprised that I asked, "I thought you would have wanted to know earlier."
"Eden thinks, well, it was because she was forced to lie to us." I said. "If that's not true then..."
"I see." I was shocked at how she was taking this seriously all of a sudden. "I don't know for certain, I wasn't exactly there in her last moments, but..."
"What?"
"Evelyn was never right, Victor knew that when he married her. She had a history of well, problems. Drugs, I'm certain, stress, anxiety. I thought she was just mad. But they gave her pills for it and Victor paid for her therapy." My mother's attempt to lighten the topic was gross. "Apparently she'd been a mental teenager. Ran away from her parents to go travelling with this man, her boyfriend. He abandoned her eventually in London, but she met Victor there. I suppose it was meant to be the best thing that ever happened to her, settling down with a man who could afford to look after her. I thought all the sweetness came from just trying to convince us she really was in love with this rich older man, but that was just me. Obviously, it wasn't all that well and good."
I knew that she'd travelled, she shown me pictures of places in Greece, France, Peru, all over. She promised me that most of her stories would have to wait until I'm older, which she never made it to see. That made more sense now. But, I always thought Fay and Evelyn were friends. I mean, if she didn't like her why would we spend all our summers at that house? My mum must have thought otherwise. Maybe I was thinking too much into this. Maybe it didn't matter what she said, I didn't trust her anyway.
We eventually pulled up onto the drive and Fay turned the engine off. She undid her seatbelt and turned to look at my fully.
"Just because I'm telling you these things doesn't mean you're off the hook. You're still in huge trouble. Oh, and while we're at it, don't even think you're going back to that house any time soon. I'll get your dad to pick you up from school and if he can't I'll hire someone to do it. It's going to be a while before you and Eden can be trusted in the same room together."
I couldn't tell what we were being punished for. It makes sense that we were in trouble for going into Victor Quinn's office, but a part of me couldn't shake the thought we were being punished for knowing the truth. Me and Eden were victims technically, but it didn't feel like it.
I grabbed my stuff off the floor and we got out the car. Fay swung her keys around her fingers casually, almost jovial, until we got to the front door.
"Go to your room." She told me as soon as we were in the hallway. I grabbed my phone from the shelf by the door as passed and went straight up stairs.
I turned my head into the living room as I walked passed. There was Dad. He was sitting with his legs open and elbows resting on his knees. His hands were interlocked in front of his mouth. His eyes were wide with an anxious expression as he saw me.
Despite my mum, I didn't go straight to my room, though I did open and close the door to make it sound like I had before I crept to the top of the stairs. I felt clever doing that and more devious than I did in Victor Quinn's office earlier, Sidney would laugh at me for it though. Probably smile at me the same way he did when we got kicked out the library.
Unsurprisingly, my parents were talking too quietly for me to hear. I slid down a couple steps to listen better.
"She's known since Christmas?" My mum scoffed.
"She found the baby scan at your father's house."
"And you knew."
"She told me she wouldn't tell Eden." My dad answered. "She even suggested waiting until you and Victor told him."
"Obviously, that was a lie."
"Yes." He replied, though I barely heard it. I was too busy coping with the stabbing guilty pain that hit my chest.
"You shouldn't have trusted her, she's a bratty teenager."
"That is your daughter you're talking about." Dad replied.
My mum had a point, my track record for being trustworthy was weak right now. Dad was just someone else I'd lied to. Add him to the list with Sidney, Eden, Angie too, I suppose.
Neither of them said anything for a moment. Until Dad tried to justify himself.
"I thought she would trouble you less if she kept quiet about it."
"That was a stupid idea."
"It's how you've been dealing with it for the last fifteen and a half years, Fay."
She tutted, or made some sort of noise of disapproval. "You should have at least told me, it might have kept them out of Victor's office."
"Is that what they were doing?"
"It's not funny." She responded. "Don't forget you're in shit too."
"Sorry, Victor made it sound like they had him at gun point over the phone."
"It's still serious, there are private documents in there." She said, starting to sound like she was scolding him. "They were both asleep when I got there, but she's still in trouble, so don't start being nice to her."
Dad didn't reply and I sat there for three minute nervously waiting for them to say something more. They didn't. Didn't start shouting or screaming at each other. Quietly was how they argued these days. My mum didn't often lose her temper and Dad was never one to fight back.
I gave up trying to listen and retreated to my room, shutting my door quietly to avoid suspicion. I changed into my pyjamas instinctively, still feeling worn out after sleeping, but was surprised when I checked my phone and it was only seven. That meant I hadn't been picked up as soon as I feel asleep which would have only been about four or five. Although, my mum didn't finish work until six. Maybe Victor Quinn was waiting for her.
There was something else surprising on my phone screen, a message from Eden. He must have just woken up too.
Are you home? You were gone when I woke up.
'Yh.' I responded. 'Are you okay? Have you spoken to your father?''
He responded quickly.
'Not a word.' Then in a different message. 'We should talk about this tomorrow, have you still got the keys to his office.'
I'd completely forgotten about it. I rushed over to my blazer on the back of the chair.
'I do.' I answered and added: 'my mum isn't going to let me come to yours tomorrow.'
'We'll just talk at school. Bring your phone so we can find each other easier.'
'That's not allowed.'
'I know. I've been doing it, haven't been caught.'
Why was I surprised? Actually I wasn't. The information just went into a folder in my head labelled 'things out of character for Eden to do, but actually aren't' which had been filling up dramatically as of late.
'Can't we arrange to meet now?' I asked.
'You want to talk now?'
'No, I mean, make arrangements now.'
'Yes, but bring your phone in too. I know what my father's like, he'll probably have us watched.'
'Do I have to?'
'Yes, Marie.'
'Fine. Let's try talk at registration first.'
As I sent the message there was a knock at my door. I threw my phone under my pillow as it opened. Here was Dad, proceeding to be nice to me anyway by offering to make me something to eat. Even though I lied to him. Even though.