At the End of the Garden

Chapter Five

The word jealousy didn't occur to me again until later in the day.
I'd been in the library after school, like I sometimes did when I was waiting for Eden. I liked our school library. It was split between two floors, each one the size of two or three classrooms combined. The first floor was mostly a study area, with fewer bookshelves and more computers. I was on the second floor. It had more book cases than desks, but it was meant to be silent. I was probably judged less for sitting alone.
Except, when I least expected it, the chair opposite me was pulled out and sat in. It was so sudden I jumped, I hadn't even heard Sidney Mathews approach.
I didn't know what to say, and I didn't know what he wanted. In my surprise I mumbled a weak 'hello'.
"I thought I'd find you here, are you waiting for Eden?" He said, with a placid smile.
As much as I liked Sidney, I was concerned. The library was just about the last place you'd find him. I couldn't figure out what he might of have wanted to bring him here of all places.
"Yes." I replied, "what's the matter, I didn't think you knew where the library was."
He laughed quietly, but then got to his point. "You asked about the ghost rumour earlier."
"I did." I said. "I wanted to know where you heard it."
"How comes?"
"Sorry?"
"Why did you want to know?"
People had asked me this before, so I had a short and non-explanatory answer. But I also assumed Sidney hadn't come to library just to ask.
"Because." I told him.
"Just because?"
"Yes."
"Come on, Marie." Sidney said. He started leaning back on his chair causing it to tip back slightly. "Did someone set you up to ask?" He asked like he already knew. He was smirking like he always did too.
"Quiet study only!" A general comment from the librarian at his far away desk swept the room.
Sidney leaned forward again and lowered his voice. "Maybe if you answer my question, I'll answer yours."
"Fine." I whispered, not wanting to be in trouble with the librarian. "You first."
I had no reason not to tell Sidney that Angie had told me to ask him. But I wanted to know what he needed answers for.
"Sure, you wanted to know where I heard it?"
"Yes."
"No-one, I made it up."
"What? Why?" For a moment I broke out of the whisper, which was followed by a hush from the front desk which kept me shut up. I stared at Sidney stunned. I didn't really believe him. Even though it sounded like something he might do, maybe.
"You next." He continued to whisper.
"Huh?"
"You gotta answer my question."
"Angie wanted to know." I said quickly. "Did you really spread it?"
My confusion had distracted me from the rest of my surroundings. I paid little attention to librarian stomping over to us. He wasn't an intimidating man, nothing like Victor Quinn, but the way he loomed over us made him seem taller than the 5,6 he was.
"Whispering isn't silent study." The librarian said as he lent over our table. Other people in the library had started to look over at me and Sidney together. The librarian continued. "Miss Scarlet I expect better."
I looked down shamefully and apologised to the table.
"You." The librarian pointed at Sidney, "either move or get out, you're being distracting."
Sidney nodded. "Reckon you're right sir, I guess I can't concentrate near people." He said while standing up and hoisting his bag over his shoulder. He moved to a further away table.
I looked everywhere but at the librarian, who walked away when he approved of the situation. I relaxed when he was gone, a part of me was embarrassed to get in trouble. It didn't seem to bother Sidney, in fact he was probably experiencing the opposite of embarrassment.
I watched him from my table, while holding my book up as if I was reading. I saw him take his own book out of his bag and do the same. Our eyes kept meeting but I pretended they weren't. He probably meant more trouble. Eventually he turned his book upside down and started to pretend he really interested in it all of a sudden. What is he doing? What an idiot. I was grinning at him again. He laughed to himself and shook his head. Within a few seconds of my reaction he put the book back in his bag. Next, he stood up and made his way to bookcases. As he past, he gestured for me to follow him.
He was well past my desk by the time I made the decision to do so. I nervously looked past my desk to the librarian, who hadn't reacted to Sidney moving. It still didn't reassure me enough. In the end, the dying urge to hear what Sidney had to say made me get up.
I noticed Sidney standing at the second furthest away bookshelf. I rushed down the next aisle, by the time I'd reached the bottom he had rearranged the books so that he could see me through the shelf.
He still whispered. "So what are you looking for in the..." he looked around, "history section."
"Hm, whatever this is..." I answered, picking up the first book I could. My reaction was kind of pathetic. I could never seem to think of witty responses fast enough as I wanted, but Sidney seemed pretty impressed by the fact I was playing along.
"The rise of Socialism. Nice." Sidney laughed quietly.
I forced the book back on the shelf. "Go on, tell me. Why did you spread the rumour?"
"Curiosity?"
"Really? About what?"
"Luka, obviously."
I stared at him and waited for him to continue.
"Do you even know who she is?"
I shook my head. "Vaguely, well, only that she used to go here, and she went missing in Year 7 or something."
"Year 8." Sidney corrected. "She was in our year. But yeah."
I nodded, but something stood in the way of my full understanding. "You didn't go to this school in Year 8?"
"Even more reason to be curious, right?"
"Sure." I said. I was getting bored of guessing his motives.
"Anyway." Sidney continued. He traced his fingers along the bookshelves as if he were bored. "I thought it was dodgy. Girl's missing for three years, nobody's heard a thing, but nobody's put a grave down yet."
"That doesn't mean she'd dead..."
"Yeah. I know." He said. "But it's suspicious. No-one can give a reason to why she left. There's literally none. Somebody had to know something they're not telling."
"That's why you spread the rumour?"
"Yeah, pretty much. Luka has friends in our year, and I figured they would know if she was dead or alive. If you're not gonna tell your parents that you're running away, you might tell your friends that you're safe, right? So I thought I'd see how they reacted."
"Did they react?"
"Uh-huh, well. There are two in Set Three who were close to her. I accidentally told them about the rumour myself as well."
"And?"
"The girl, Ren, she said something along the lines of shut your mouth Sidney, she can't be a ghost she's not dead. Her friend seemed to agree with her."
"Did they know anything."
"Nah. I don't think so. They both seemed quite upset when I suggested she might be dead to be honest. They acted how I thought they would. But I'm just following my intuitiooooon."
Sidney drew out the last word as he heard approaching footsteps. He put the books that had been between us back so I couldn't see him anymore. I moved slightly away, as if I didn't know Sidney was there. There was a laugh lodged in my throat, I don't know if it was nerves or because I found sneaking around like this fun. Whatever fun I was having was quickly put to rest when I heard one clear word from the librarian.
"Out."
"Aww, sir, I ain't even done nothing." Sidney said, very unconvincingly.
The librarian leaned into the aisle I was standing in. "And you." He gestured to the direction of the door with his thumb. "Just because you're standing over here, doesn't mean I can't hear you."
Sidney probably shrugged his shoulders, but I couldn't see him. I did hear his footsteps moving away and I followed suit. I felt a little nervous, but when I saw Sidney's face I calmed down. Not for any reason other than when we made eye contact he started snickering. I went to grab what I'd left at my table. All Sidney had to do grab his bag and wait for me by the exit.
"I said out." The librarian looked at me as if I was challenging him.
I hesitated to continue packing my things. I wondered if I should leave all the books I'd left out and jump out the window instead.
"Man, she's just getting her stuff."
"Don't man me, Sidney Mathews, I've seen your name far too many times on the detention list to take your attitude."
Sidney seemed amused by the retaliation. Of course he did. My mum once told me that children like Sidney just enjoy attention.
"Quickly." The librarian threatened, and I did as I was told.
The pressure caused me to mess up an easy task, I put everything in the wrong place s I couldn't close my bag properly. I ended up holding my bag from the bottom as I rushed to Sidney's side to leave. I continued to try sort my bag out as we walked through the corridor. I was relieved Sidney didn't mock me for it like I thought the would.
"First time getting kicked out the library?" He said instead.
"I guess it isn't yours?"
"Nah." He said with a laugh. "Really isn't the place to socialise."
"No kidding"."
I peeked through the window of the next classroom we passed to see the clock. It was only quarter past four.
"I've still got fifteen minutes before I'm supposed to meet Eden." I muttered to myself more than Sidney.
"Let's wait together, there's more I wanna tell you." He suggested. "Besides, I'm meeting someone too."
I agreed, and we walked to the exit together.
"You'll probably wanna hear the rest of it as well."
"What is it?"
"It's about the other one of Luka's close friends. Who reacted kinda badly."
"Who?"
Sidney looked at me strangely.
"Angie?" I asked.
"Yeah. Don't you find her much more suspicious than the other two?"
By the time he'd said this we were at the front gates of the school. With nowhere else to go, we just loitered there. It was too cold to do so, but I wanted to keep talking to Sidney.
"Why?"
"I mean firstly, she doesn't seem to be friends with the other two anymore?"
"How do you know they were all friends in the first place? Like as a group..."
Sidney shrugged. "I asked about and got told. I thought her and Ren were related anyway, they've got the same last name."
"Do they?"
"I thought you would know, you're her best mate."
"I don't." I said. "It could be a coincidence."
Sidney low effort hum suggested he wasn't buying it. I stared at the ground a little ashamed that I didn't know such a thing about my best friend. A small weed was trying to poke it's way out of the gaps in the concrete. No other plants were attempting to copy it, or perhaps they were afraid of the week killer that drowned this very pavement once a month.
"I don't think that makes her suspicious..." I tried to defend her.
"The fact she wanted to find me out so bad though."
"I don't think wanting to find out who's spreading a rumour about your missing friend is an insane idea. And that's even if they were friends."
But the more I tried to defend Angie, the more of what Sidney was saying made sense. We didn't really become friends until Year 9, which was after Luka went missing. That meant Renée, Luka and the other boy could have all been friends with her before me.
"Why did she send you to find out though," Sidney pointed out. "Assuming she was gonna confront me when she found I spread it, might as well do they whole thing yourself."
"But..." I began. "Angie doesn't like being the centre of attention like that. She's... particular about what people know about her. It makes sense to me anyway, and the rumour didn't seem to bother her that much."
"Then why not just ignore it? If she doesn't think Luka's dead and wasn't gonna look into it herself, why not let it pass like Ren and Michael did? Those two really believe she's alive." Sidney said. "No-one's even talking about it anymore, 'cept you and me. So why is she still making you do her work."
I instantly reacted. "I'm not doing her work."
Sidney reacted the way I should have expected, he laughed. "Sure, if you say so." He said.
"I am not!" I whined, which just amused him more.
His laughter was cut short. He looked from me to the entrance of the building. "Looks like your old man."
Eden was walking down towards us from the school building. He had one hand in a trouser pocket. As always, his face gave no hint that he was happy to see me.
"Decided to wait today?"
I scrunched up my cheeks, and didn't answer him. He also ignored Sidney.
"Oh, that's my cue to leave." Sidney said. Though, Eden's presence made it feel like he wasn't here anymore. "My friend's here."
I followed Sidney's eyes to an approaching figure. She wasn't in uniform like the rest of us. I could hear her footsteps from her heavy platform boots even though she was still quite far away. The boots matched her leather jacket. Her hair was almost Sidney's colour, but the natural hair coming from the top of her head down to almost her ears proved it wasn't real like his was.
"Let's go then, Marie." Eden told me.
Before I could say goodbye to Sidney, Eden did something he'd never done in our relationship ever. He grabbed my hand and started leading (pulling) me away.
His hands were colder than the surroundings, dry too. I might have been happy about this development if I wasn't so shocked. Even after the shock faded, it wasn't quite happiness that replaced it. It wasn't quite how I imagined holding hands with my boyfriend would be. I mean, me and Eden had held hands before. We'd grown up together. He's was half the reason I didn't get lost in public spaces when we were really small. For the whole walk to the car, Eden kept his mouth shut. Sidney called me as we were half way there.
"Marie." He shouted, but it didn't seem like a shout. He didn't strain his voice at all. "If you... maybe don't tell Angie about this, if you could..."
"Yeah." I muttered back, still in shock. My answer was probably too quiet to hear.
I kept my head tilted back in Sidney's direction. The red-headed girl was now close enough to speak to him.
"Don't tell who what? What are you up to, Sid?" She spoke to him in a tone I could only describe as being like an older sister. The way she flicked his forehead despite being so much shorter than him (shorter than me), proved it.
"Nice to see you too." I heard Sidney reply, and that was last I heard of the conversation.
Eden let go of my hand as soon as we got to the car. Neither of us commented on it. During the whole car ride, Eden just stared out the window as if nothing happened. I felt the urge to tease him, but that was probably Sidney rubbing off on me. I hadn't teased Eden about anything since we were young.
What's gotten into him?
I thought to myself. I rubbed the hand Eden held as if it had left an injury.
In the Angie's voice, I heard a word ringing out in my mind.
Jealousy.