Anything! Horror X Reader ⭐Headcannons⭐

🔪Michael Myers x Reader 🔪

Spring break spring break spring break spring break spring break

Ugh I'm so hungover
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A= Aftercare

After hours of intimate intercourse (yes hours what do you expect? If he can survive being set on fire, shot, thrown off of a house, etc then what makes you think that he's gonna go easy on ya?) , he'll pick you up and hoist you over his shoulder to your shower where one things lead to another and the next thing you know you two are having shower sex. There's no escape Hahahahaha.

B= Body part

His favorite body part of yours consists of your thighs and ass. Your thighs make him so fucking horny like GOD DAMMIT. I swear to God if you wear thigh highs he will fuck you on the spot. As for your ass, fat or not, he'll reach his hand down there and give it one hell of a tight squeeze (or a hard slap idk depends on the mood) .

C= Cum

There's nothing too extra ordinary about his spunk here other than the part that there's a lot of it. So better prepare yourself because it's gonna be a literal Genesis flood.

D = Dirty Secret

Sometimes when you're sleeping, he'll sneak into your room and jerk off over your sleeping body. Nothing too creepy there... Right? Anyways you haven't found that out yet and it should stay that way.

E = Experience

He has... Some. He never vocalized his experiences with you but you assume that he has some because he sure knows what he's doing in bed. How the hell else could he know how to go down on you like that?

F =  Favorite Position

He's a hulking, tall, knife wielding psychopath so you need to be wise with the positions you choose or else you'll get crushed haha. Usually doggy is where it's at, but other times you'll have your shoulders and upper back on the matress while your hips and legs are elevated off of your bed to meet his brutal force. And then there's other times where he'll wall-bang you. It's exciting because it's a new position every time.

G = Goofy

Nope. No jokes or puns here honey. This man doesn't let out a peep during sex. True legend.

H = Hair

He's not hobo, but he's not groomed. He's just average I guess. You're just glad it's not like touching Bob Ross's hair down there. He's clean however so that's all that matters as well.

I = Intimacy

Although he's not a man of many words, his actions speak a lot more than any words or love songs or whatever people say that is considered flirting. He gets you a lot of roses. You're pretty sure that those flowers and roses are directly cut from people's lawns... But how romantic! He also likes holding you close to him, hugging you like a teddy bear. He's just so sweet with you, always carrying you around over his shoulder kek.

J = Jerk off

Yeah prolly. I mean you've never caught him in the act, but he's just so sneaky. This man is so mysterious. Mysterious to the point where you don't know how often he wanks. But everybody jerks off so there's you answer.