Saudade 18+| completed

Chapter Veinticinco

I thought I was hallucinating. This was surely just in my imagination because we both were blinded by lust and pleasure. Levi reached out for me forcing me to look at him. His eyes were full of love and only love. This is really happening!

We both sat up the sheets resting on our thighs. My eyes stared into his with a perplexed expression. His hands cupped my cheeks as he shifted closer to me.

"If you are joking I will snap your head off without hesitation. You know I stay true to my word." I narrowed my eyes.

In response, he blessed my ears with his beautiful laugh. It filled the room and I found myself smiling at him like an idiot.

"I wouldn't dare, love."

We both smiled at each other and I hugged him. Hugged him as if my life depended on it. Like it was the end of the world. Like it was our last hug.  We both fell on the mattress. Me on top of him. I pulled away to look into his mesmerizing eyes. Deep like the night.

"So?" He nervously asked. Can you believe it? Levi Ackerman and nervous?

"So what?" Time to tease him.

"I asked you something?"

He pulled me on top of his chest and my bare breasts pressed against his skin.

"Oh. That! Let me think about it."

Trying so hard not to burst into laughter or tears.

"What is there to think about? You don't love me?"

His expression turned serious as he sat up again and pulling me up with him.

"Jesus, Levi. I was kidding. Of course, I love you. I love you more than anything in this fucked up world."

I cupped his cheeks as tears started to form in my eyes.

"I-" I put my fingers on his mouth silencing him.

"I loved you since before I even knew what love is. When we lived underground I always dreamed about my future. Our future. You and me living in a house far away from here. Where there is no pain and terror. Away from this hell. Then when we grew up I realized there is no escape from this hell. This is our reality. The walls are our reality. The underground was my reality. But I knew that I wanted to spend my life in this hell...with you. But you left- like I didn't mean anything to you. That I didn't have any importance whatsoever in your life and your heart. I know you offered me to come with you and I declined."

The first tears rolled down my cheek and he quickly wiped it away. His warm thumb caressing my soft skin.

"I was scared, Levi. I was scared of the unknown. I was scared to lose you. I had already planned a safe future for us underground and then you suddenly wanted to leave. You and I both didn't know what would be waiting for us here. I tried so hard to convince you. I'm not going to lie you had me convinced for a moment, but- but then I remembered all the horror stories they told us about life above ground. About the horrors of the titans. I was scared that if we leave and I lost you that I would be left all alone in a world that was alien to me. I hoped that you wouldn't go. That my love would hold you back. I was wrong. Kenny offered me a job and I took it because he was the only family I had left. He treated me well. Like a daughter. But he lied to me. For years he lied to me. He told me that you were working against the government, that the Scouts were a fraud. Not trustworthy. I believed him, every fucking word that left his mouth until the day Hanje dressed my wounds. Until the day I met you again. I couldn't believe my eyes. You were- You were there and I forgot every fucking thing he told me about you. All the poison he had injected into my heart and my brain. I thought the universe was giving us a second chance, but I soon found out about your engagement. It broke my heart, more than you can imagine."