Time Sensitive Target

Part 19 - Uncomfortably Numb

It took a few moments, I wasn't sure exactly how long- for the world to come back into focus around me. I don't think I'd even noticed the doorway had since been sealed shut, the image was so vivid in my mind. Rob placed a firm hand on my arm, a gesture I automatically recoiled from with an uneasy backwards step. The movement seemed to jolt me back to some level of consciousness, and after a fraction of a second I looked around. 

Sonny stood in front of the metal door to the cell block, one arm positioned across the closed opening as if his body was an additional layer of security. Jase stood back, his grey t-shirt partly black with saturation, both hands on his hips with his head downcast towards the dirt. Rob was directly in front of me, respecting the distance I'd put between us. He stared at me intently, his whole body alert and his arms ever so slightly outstretched by his sides as if he was ready to spring towards me. I'd seen Ant out of the corner of my eye, doubled over with his palms on his thighs as though he was soothing himself. Now he was striding towards me, without the same over-caution his comrade displayed. 

Ant paced directly at me, so I twisted my body and met his cool blue gaze. He said nothing at first. His face said nothing. His body language said nothing. He placed his left hand on my right arm, slowly and deliberately, and left it there a moment. 

"Come on," he commanded, applying the slightest of pressure from his skin to mine, willing me to turn and walk with him. I obeyed him silently, there was nothing to argue against. I was struggling to process... I didn't feel anything. I was almost entirely numb, and so agonisingly aware of it. I wasn't certain if I was relieved or concerned. I'd have expected a reaction to something like that; surely, surely ordinary people would have a reaction to that? Was I meant to have crumpled to my knees and sob to the heavens? It will get you later, I told myself. The feelings always come later. 

Ant kept his hand against my arm for the duration of the slow procession back to the building. He took me straight to the small room I called a bedroom and led me to the cot bed. His hand applied the same gentle insistence as he guided me wordlessly to sit down, taking a seat beside me. We sat in silence for a moment, I watched dust particles dancing in rays of sunlight that shone through the barred window. Rob had followed, positioning himself in an uncomfortable stance in the doorway, his huge frame obscuring the entire view of the corridor beyond. 

Ant held both of his hands together in one large ball, elbows dug into his legs as he leaned forward in determined thought. He exhaled sharply through his nose, sitting upright suddenly as though he had decided something. 

"I'm sorry," he said slowly and almost quietly with a low gravelly tone. 

"What for?" I responded vacantly, my voice hoarse.

"That was entirely my fuck up. I didn't keep my emotions in check. I let my anger get the better of me and it impacted you," Ant spoke with methodical repression, I could hear him fighting back at internal fury. He was angry with himself. 

"Were you torturing al-Raheem in the building next to me?" I asked quietly, my eyes now focused on a tattoo partially visible from under Rob's sleeve. I traced the lines as they wove a shape I couldn't recognise. 

"No," Ant replied dejectedly.

"Then it wasn't entirely your fuck up," I stated, trying to appear impassive. 

"Enhanced interrogation is... it's fucked..." Ant searched for what he wanted to actually say. "But it's part of the job, sometimes. That... what you saw... they're not beating him or anything like that. What you could see is a safe and effective way to get people to talk, water-"

"I know what water boarding is," my voice was abruptly loud and tremored. "Yes it's very effective." I willed every neuron in my brain to suppress the memories of sodden fabric bound tightly over my mouth. 

"You- ok," Ant halted the rest of his train of thought when he realised what I was saying. 

"Ant," Rob murmured from the doorway, giving his superior a slight nod of encouragement. Ant expelled a held breath. 

"I hate to say this now, but we do need to talk to the Americans Paige. I wish we could avoid it, but delaying it will only keep us here longer. The sooner they have what they need the sooner we can get out of here. If we don't comply now, they can make you an official person of interest," Ant retraced his own thoughts. "I can't protect you then," he finished eventually. 

I wanted nothing less than to sit in a room with Jase and answer his line of questioning, but I wanted so desperately to get out. I felt so numb, I knew it was the perfect time to go through the motions and get it over and done with. 

"Ok," I answered quietly. "I'll talk to them." 

                                                                                                  *

Ant stormed through the living quarters until he reached the shower, the noise of groaning pipes and spluttering water confirming he was in the right place. He knocked sharply and opened the door without waiting for permission. Rob turned around slightly in surprise, but there was no bashfulness amongst brothers in arms. 

"Comms are back," Ant stated, his voice flat yet urgent. 

"Seriously?" Rob sifted his hands through his hair and relieved the shower from it's struggling obligation, wrapping an already damp towel around his waist. 

"Ten minutes ago. Exfil tomorrow at 2300. No word to the Americans," Ant was in complete battle command mode. Now they were close, so close to getting Paige out. But thirty four hours and fourteen minutes was a long time, so much could go wrong with that wide a window. Ant had to try to get Paige's discussion with Jase wrapped up with a pretty bow on top, and have her completely cleared of all suspicion before then. He wished fervently that he could tell her the end was on the horizon, but if she knew the opportunity to leave was imminent it could affect the way she spoke, the way she divulged information. In a sense, he needed her to still be afraid and feel the foreboding sense of entrapment. 

"Fuck me that's good news. Did you tell them about the Americans?" Rob's hair was still dripping on to his well defined chest as he looked directly at his leader, knowing what the answer would be, but unsure if it was the right decision. 

"No," Ant answered. "It could have changed their decision, they might have wanted to consult with the CIA. I don't even think Jase has mentioned anything to them. I could be wrong, and no I don't trust the cunt, but I don't think he's brought her name to their attention. That's the only thing I'll give him credit for," Ant grimaced, a deep frown furrowing his brow. 

"You know this could get us in shit if it goes south, right?" Rob had to cast his doubts out loud, at least so he knew Ant had acknowledged the potential ramifications of his decision.

"Me. It could get me in shit, not us. And yes I know that. It's a risk I'm willing to take at this point," Ant crossed his huge arms across his broad chest, knowing with full clarity that he was making a poor professional decision. And yet, he didn't care. Rescuing and protecting Paige had been his one and only mission, and he felt the responsibility of that more intensely than he'd ever done on an operation. He knew it was just the delayed exfiltration at fault, as he'd become an integral part of her recovery and ongoing safety. Factoring in the conflict with the Americans, it was natural to feel possessive and protective over her. He knew he had to hold his own long enough to let her give Jase what he needed, though he knew it would be one of the hardest sit-downs he'd ever been involved in. 

"So we prep her to talk now? Or is it in our interest to delay it?" Rob shimmied the towel across his skin in attempt to dry quicker, trying not to think about how many other bodies had been against the same fabric. 

"We do it now, more time means it's likelier they'll feel they've exhausted the topic. If we cut it short, they'll think we're hiding something and detain her. She isn't our prisoner, we've no right to keep her if they play that game," Ant knew he had to be careful in this loaded game of chess. The slightest thing could provoke Jase into a spiral of suspicion and blow the whole thing up. 

"Let's get her ready then."