Time Sensitive Target

Part 26 - Endure What Comes

A slug of dark crimson trailed down to the mucky off-white vest, which clung to the outline of my ribs. The blood seeped into the fabric, a brilliant red polka dot, it's perimeter growing as the slow course continued. I placed the hard jagged scab on the top of my hand, assessing the fruits of my labour. I'd worked at this for ages, picking bit by bit around the circumference to make sure it didn't splinter apart. The wound would have only needed maybe a few more days to fully heal and the glob of platelets would have shed itself, but there was something deeply satisfying in plucking it from my skin, halting the natural healing. I pressed the fabric of my vest against the open wound, still oozing sticky yellow gunge and near black blood. I only wanted to stem the bleeding so I could see what it looked like; how deep it was, whether the outline of the hole perfectly matched the congealed skin lid I'd prized from it. I wiped away the blood and detached my vest, surveying the fleshy hole. It had mostly healed, so only a shallow pink crater remained. I could see the ridges of skin still yet to regenerate, which for whatever reason I found fascinating. 

Footsteps came from the corridor outside, a heaviness of step I could only imagine was Ant or Sonny. I'd noticed Jase was barely audible when he approached, despite his tall imposing physique he moved in silence. My body seized involuntarily, every muscle contracting, every hair standing on end in alert. This might be it. I wasn't ready. I was so exhausted my mind had begun playing tricks on me. Strange shadows danced in the light, dark shapes darted from side to side always avoiding direct contact. At one point my fingers were terrifyingly long, at another an unknown object suddenly descended rapidly from the ceiling just above my head. I knew it was all in my head. I knew there was no physical realness to any of it, yet it was undeniably true in the moment. These weren't just thoughts, it was things I could actually see in front of me. After every ten minute doze on the concrete floor I woke feeling far worse than before. Nobody was stopping me from sleeping, nobody could have, I was drained. But it felt like only seconds after my eyes finally closed that I jolted awake again, some strange, frightening presence alerting me to consciousness. 

Ant stepped through the opening door, his mouth pressed in a hard line. The edges of his lips curled ever so slightly as he attempted a smile, whatever that was worth. I sat up to attention, concealing my shredded wrist against the wall. 

"Is it time?" I meant to speak assertively but my voice came out as a fearful whisper. 

"Very soon," Ant covered his mouth with his fingers and stroked his beard pensively. "I came first to... prepare you for what will happen." 

"Go on," I muttered. 

"Please... I'm imploring you, if you know anything else then say it now before you're recorded. Once it starts, you won't be able to withhold anything." 

As soon as Ant began his plea tears pricked in the corners of my eyes. How dare he. How many times had I said it? There was nothing, nothing else. His warning suddenly had me teetering on the brink of something. A huge lump formed in my throat that I couldn't swallow down. 

"Paige-" Ant pressed.

A loud sob erupted from my mouth before I could stop it, a thousand undiscernible thoughts swarming my head. 

"I'm so tired," I wailed hoarsely. My mental shield had dissolved, rational thought evaporated until my mind was left with nothing but whimpering desperation. "Please- please make this all end I can't do it anymore. I can't do all that again, please finish it now, please," I begged. I just wanted to sleep. I wanted to have complete pure nothingness, no worry, no pain, no fear. Just to feel the cool embrace of velvety black emptiness all over me until I didn't feel anything at all. I wouldn't even have to be anymore. Just... peace.