𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐞𝐧'𝐬 𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐢𝐭 ♕From Beth the Eyes of Beth Harmon

XX - I like your hair

Episode 5

Fork

Part 4

Ohio, 1967

I like your hair

♕♛♕♛♕♛

The next morning I sat on a campus bench. Students were sitting out on the lawn enjoying the nice spring day. Some sat on picnic blankets, some rode their bikes, and some were simply walking, to and from buildings, making easy conversation.

There was an overall contentment floating in the warm breeze. I tried to allow the feelings of tranquility to enter me, after speed chess last night I was a little worked up. Alma always said that a little venturing outdoors or cultural experiences never hurt anybody, not even a world class chess player.

I watched as the young adults, probably my age, experienced normal lives. The life Alma probably thought I would live when I first entered her world. But I didn't. I tried that for one night, when I went over to Margaret's house. I hated it, and from that moment on, I promised myself I would never be normal. And that was okay. I just couldn't help this nagging feeling that made me wonder how different things would be if I never found chess.

But chess wasn't the thing that made me not normal. In fact, chess was probably the most normal thing about me. My mom is what made me not normal. And I guessed the non-normal things spiraled out of control from there.

A pair of hands landed themselves on the back of the bench, startling me. I turned to look at who the ringed-hands belonged to and it was none other than Benny Watts, leaning over the bench.

"It's gonna be you or me." He said, referring to the final game tomorrow.

I was trying not to think about it too much, so I distracted myself with other intrusive thoughts, which didn't help either. But the underlying feeling of apprehension, nerves, and adrenaline I had been feeling on this spring day told me I had actually been thinking about it this whole time, subconsciously.

As I turned my body back around, unsure of what to say next, he joined me on the other side of the bench.

"Are you trying to psych me out?" I said. Technically he already succeeded in that last night. He had a way of doing that to me before games.

"No, I don't need to do that to beat you." I turned my head away from him, ignoring the comment. It hurt a little, even though it shouldn't have.

"Listen, I'm sorry about yesterday okay? I wasn't trying to hustle you."

"Weren't you?" That was a bullshit apology, if he wasn't trying to hustle me why in the hell would he have done that to me in the first place?

"Come on, Beth. You're the best player here. And I've been watching your games, you... You attack like Alekhine."

"You held me off well enough yesterday."

"But that doesn't count, that's speed chess. I'm better at speed chess than you are, I play a lot of it in New York."

"You beat me in Las Vegas."

"That was a while ago. You were too hung up on doubling my pawns, I don't think I could get away with that again."

I liked the idea that Benny, possibly the most egotistical man I know, was talking about how good I am at chess, like he was trying to defend me from my own dangerous thoughts. But it didn't make sense, if I was "the best player here" then why couldn't I beat him even once yesterday?