Home Away From Home

Chapter Thirteen

DAY THIRTY NINE
"Hello?" I answered the phone. It's well into the evening meaning it's early early morning back home.
"Hey, sweetie." My mom responded with an urgency in her voice that I didn't quite understand.
"Hi, what's up?" I was cautious and growing nervous as the silence grew between us.
"Greta, I--" My mom choked back what sounded like a sob, and my heart rate picked up. "We're in the hospital right now." There was shuffling on the other line as I assumed the phone was being passed to someone else. I couldn't stand the anticipation.
"Greta, dad was in an accident. We're in the ER." Gus informed me with no fuss, but his voice sounded weak, and I felt guilty for not being there.
"What happened?! Is he going to be okay??" I was frantic, and I rushed up to my room for some privacy. Tears were forming in the corner of my eyes, and I didn't bother to try to hold them back.
"Another driver was speeding and ran a red light. He hit dad on the driver side. Dad's unresponsive with some lung complications and a few broken bones. He's going into surgery within the hour. The doctors are optimistic." Gus' voice was flat, and it sounded like he was reading off of a prompt.
"They're always optimistic." I whispered quietly, bitterly as the reality of the situation settled in.
"The other driver is in the ICU... Dad is gonna be okay, Greta. I promise." Gus was being sympathetic, but I could tell he wasn't being sincere.
"Don't make promises you can't keep." I bit, angry with the world.
"We love and miss you."
"I love you guys too. Help Mom, please." My voice caught on a threatening cry as I thought about my family in the waiting room. "Is Em there?"
"Yeah, one sec."
"Thanks, Gus. Sorry I'm not there." The tears began to fall, and it was no use trying to mask the sound of my cries.
"I'm sorry too." He gave the phone to Emerson who I knew was crying before she even spoke.
"Hi," she squeaked out.
Hearing her in such a fragile state broke my heart. "Em, it's gonna be okay."
"You are the last person who gets to say that!" She yelled, somehow gaining a voice.
Was she mad at me? Probably. I'm mad at me too. "I'm sorry. I--"
"Sorry, too. I just don't know what to do, and Mom isn't talking and..." I could see her shaking. I could see her blotchy eyes. She's so sensitive. I wish I could be there.
I dropped the phone as my head fell into my hands, and I openly wept. "Em, I gotta go, okay? I love you. Tell Mom I love her. Call me when you hear something."
"Love you too." Both of our voices were weak. It's a miracle either of us could hear each other.
The line dropped, and I dropped my phone with it. My body shook as I cradled my head in my hands. Tears ran down my face, dripping onto my shirt and legs. I cried and cried and cried, and I got angry. I threw my water bottle and my phone and a book. I wanted to scream, but everyone was home.
I cried for over an hour. My breaths were sporadic as I tried to calm myself down. My face was hot, and my head felt light. I got out of my bed. I needed to talk to Liz. I needed to tell someone, but I don't want to cry in front of them.
I walked slowly, peaking out to make sure no one was out of my door, and I began to the bathroom. Luke caught me as we ran into each other at the bathroom door similar to our first time meeting.
"Are you okay?" Worry encompassed his eyes as he searched mine. He grabbed my arms just above the elbow, giving me support.
His eyes grew as he traced the tears down my face, and I couldn't help but collapse into him. I was bawling, soaking Luke's shirt with my tears. He wrapped his arms around me, and I felt safe there. His head rested on top of mine, and he ran his hand up and down my back, shushing softly.
"It's gonna be okay."
"No. It." Hiccup. "Won't." Heaving breath.
"Can you tell me what's wrong?" He spoke to me in a tender voice, slowly coaxing me away from his secure and warm embrace. I didn't want to look at him.
My throat was tight. I couldn't speak past the hiccups as my body tried to inhale when all I could manage was to exhale. I shook my head, keeping my eyes on his chest. He was wearing a black shirt, but I could still see the mess of my tears.
"Greta... please." Luke pleaded. I felt guilty again because he cared so much, but I couldn't bring myself say it out loud.
"My-- my dad." I just wanted to fall onto the floor. I didn't want to support my own weight anymore. I need to be home.
"What about him?" Luke kept one hand on my arm as he used his other hand to lift my face to his.
"I need to go home." I blurted out. The air suddenly felt too heavy on my body, for my lungs. Breathing became a chore and standing became impossible. Luke must've noticed something because he lead me into his room and helped me sit on his bed.
"Greta." He looked deep into my eyes, and all I could focus on was breathing. In and out. In and out. In and out.
It felt like I was in a daze. "This isn't real. It's just a dream." I kept telling myself, but I couldn't convince myself.
Luke crawling onto the bed next to me, wrapping his arms around me as he brought me into the space between his arm and his torso. I liked this space.
My head rested just below his clavical, and I felt his breath on my forehead. I squeezed my eyes shut, ushering any lingering tears over the edge. My soft sobs filled the silent room as I struggled for air. Every now and then, Luke would whisper a soothing sound or lace my name with comfort. What seemed like hours passed while I nestled myself into Luke's chest, but it was really less than one before I began to attempt to compose myself.
"My dad was in an accident?" I said quietly, still questioning the legitimacy of whatever is happening.
"I'm so--" Luke began to sympathize, but I didn't want it. It would just make me cry again.
"Gus said he'll be okay, said the doctors are optimistic, but doctors are always optimistic. That's their job. I don't know. I don't really know what to feel. I don't--" I began to ramble again, and my breaths deepened as I tried my hardest to fight off the urge to cry again.
"He'll be okay, and you'll be okay, okay?" Luke reassured me, but he sounded more worried than Gus had. I nodded into Luke's chest, acknowledging that I had heard him. I'm just afraid that if I speak again, nothing will come out but quiet wails.
I felt Luke's soft lips press against the skin just below my hairline. "Do you want to go home?" I heard the pain in his voice as I felt the breath of his words against the skin he was still kissing.
"No. I want to be here." I nuzzled closer to Luke, and he tightened his grip around me.
Despite the pain and grief, I felt butterflies, and I never wanted to leave this moment. I felt guilty, again, for being so comfortable and feeling so safe when my dad was nine thousands miles away, open in a hospital bed.
I wanted to say more to Luke, but I don't think any words could express what I was feeling at the moment.
----------------------
short and super random, but thanks for reading.