On The Other Side

Chapter Twenty-Three: Colorado

            It’s March, I see the sun pushing insistently through the grey clouds, tender grass shoots sprout amid the melting snow. I press my hand against the cold, cracked windowpane, my breath misting up the glass. This is the day my son comes from Colorado. He wasn’t able to come last November like he’d planned, for the snowstorms in the Rocky’s never relented, causing any travel to halt.

            Miriam, Claire, and I have talked over and over about me moving, leaving our little room of comfort and friendship. We’ve shed tears, laughter, inspiration, this room is full of the spirit and strength of us women. Carving a life out for our children and ourselves, even amid this Great Depression weighing upon this country.

            After months of reflection, I’ve decided to go back with James. I want more than anything to live with my family, to be surrounded by my grandchildren. I’m not silly enough to think I have years and years of life left.

             But what I do have left will be spent with family. I wrote James, telling him to meet me at Declan’s store, where we’ve been working on a small feast for his visit. After the beating Dec took last month, he hasn’t been involved with his cousin Matteo since. But he still seems to get a hold of hard to acquire items somehow.

            We’ve baked an apple pie with the most tender, flaky crust, Crag giving us his grandmother’s secret of a dash of vodka for the perfect crust. The apples seasoned perfectly with a healthy pinch of cinnamon and sugar. Dec was able to acquire some beef to add with our canned vegetables that we put up in the fall, for a hearty stew.

            I look around our room, see the small, narrow bed that Claire and Aggie willingly, and kindly, gave up for an old stranger. I see the mattresses in the corner, covered in the beautiful quilts Declan selflessly gave to Miriam, Corky, Claire and Aggie. The shabby, moldy, water damaged walls, the cracked window, the smells emitted from the outhouse waft through the broken glass.

            Even the shabbiness of this room can’t take away the feeling of warmth. Tears prick my eyes, knowing tonight will be the last night I lay my head here to sleep. I shake myself; I need to get going, everyone’s already at Dec and Crag’s, I just needed a moment to gather my thoughts and calm my nerves.

            The walk to the store, seeing the green of the tulips pushing through the damp earth, feeling the sun on my face, renews me. The renewal of the earth is a reminder that I can also be reborn, that I can be the mother that I’ve always wanted to be, that I truly haven’t lost my chance.

            The warmth of the store envelopes me when I enter, the bell above the door welcoming. Aggie grins, running over, “Ms. Milly, Ms. Milly, when do we get to eat the pie, it smells like the best pie ever made,” her little hand tugs on my skirt, her feet bouncing up and down, “So, when do we get to, huh? Is it soon, really soon?”

            My heart cracks a little at the thought of leaving this tiny spitfire. “Aggie,” I bend down and pull her close, kiss her freckled cheek, “Honey, you are the sweetest, spunkiest girl I know, never change, ok?”

            Aggie crosses her heart, then says, “And hope to die, and stick a needle in my eye,” she giggles, “Crag taught me that.”

            Behind the candy counter, Crag guffaws, his eyes under his bushy eyebrows twinkling, “Never would I ever.”
            I laugh, pulling Aggie in for one more hug. “My son will be here soon, and we’ll eat, then dig right into that pie.”

              She scampers off, stacking blocks with her brother and Corky, the boys knocking them down, then giggling uproariously.