Cordelia Goode x Reader- Instead

I choose you instead

After hearing Zoe say those words it's like all of your doubts, fears, the anger and the past don't matter anymore. She truly is right about the way she felt for Madison and that is the way you have felt for Cordelia and it never changed. You believe she is your soulmate because she makes you happy and you both could be happy but you are standing in between her and your own destiny and happiness and you don't want to make it any harder for either of you than it already has been. You just want to forgive, forget and move on with the woman you have been in love with for so many years. As you run out of your apartment and pull your hood up at the amount of rain Zoe's words keep repeating in your head and you run through the streets to the train station because you need to see her right there and right now. You feel so stupid about that argument the two of you had and the way you reacted and the things you have said. It rains and thunders and you are soaked by the time you get to the train station but you don't care because you need to see Cordelia. You could just teleport, given that you are a witch but you have never been too good at that and you often have ended up in sketchy or dangerous places and you want to avoid that at any cost. With the train and it being night it should only take around two hours to get there and so as you walk to the train station you buy a ticket and wait for the train. You shiver so much both from the cold and also from feeling so excited because finally you are choosing Cordelia and you can both be happy, that's if the supreme still wants that and will accept your apology. It feels like the train takes ages to arrive but once it finally does you get on it and sit by your usual window seat. As the rain falls down the window and you can see the familiarity of your own city disappear you think back to the time you have left the coven and this parallel. Years ago you left and ran away from Cordelia and your own feelings and you didn't stay to fight or just wait for fate to take it's turn because as you now know Hank turned out to be a traitor. Currently you feel like letting it all go and although you still blame yourself for leaving and being a stranger and through that loosing some important people, you never ever want to make the same mistake again and leave your coven or witches. Your heart is racing and sadly you left in such a hurry that you only brought your keys and some change you found in your hoodie. You wish you could call Cordelia and tell her to stop being upset, like Zoe mentioned because you need to speak to her and that you are sorry. The thoughts are so loud and so much and you think about all the things you want to say to her that the train is already arriving in New Orleans. The weather is just as bad and after the train arrives you basically sprint out despite it being so late and you get a few strange glances from some people at how much you are rushing because it seems like you are running for your life. Partly you are because you have only realized even more that Cordelia is your life and the only soulmate and person you would ever want to spend your days with. By now you have memorized the way so well that you run through the dark streets and you are out of breath once you finally arrive at the familiar black gate. You look to the windows as you walk to the front door hoping someone especially Delia will still be awake and you knock on the door a few times praying someone will let you inside. In the end Zoe opens the door with a little smile ''Thank god you came to your senses'' Zoe teases and you give her a little smirk before running to Cordelia's room. 

As you make it to her bedroom door you knock a few times but no one answers and you fear she is asleep but then you walk to her office and knock a few times and you can hear footsteps approaching and with every step she takes towards you and the door it feels like your heart is going to explode. When you hear the door open you look up at Cordelia and your eyes meet hers and you can see the sadness in her eyes and it also makes you upset that you must be the reason causing this. She is still in her clothes for the day, a white blouse and some black trousers and heels and you can tell that she must have been overworking herself again like she did a lot back in the day. Cordelia looks up and down you and her jaw drops a little because you are standing in front of her, out of breath and completely soaked. ''Cordel-- Cordelia may I come in please?'' you say and struggle a bit because of how out of breath you are from all the running. ''Of course Y/N what happened? you are soaked'' she says while the two of you walk inside and her surprised reaction is still there as you step inside by the way her eyebrows furrow and how pale she has suddenly gone. ''Wait let me get you some towels and clothes'' she offers after closing the door and looking at you but you shake your head and say ''No no I need to speak to you right now'' and she can hear the urgency in your voice so she simply nods and offers you to sit down and she sits down across from you. With a flick of her wrist she turned the heating up in the room so you wouldn't be cold and get sick but you didn't notice that. ''What can I do for you Y/N?'' she asks and you close your eyes for a second and take a deep breath ''I- Cordelia I am so sorry for my behavior the last few times we have met and I- I wanted to tell you that I am not angry at you anymore and maybe I was never mad at you'' you start and the supreme now looks up to meet your eyes, you can tell she is hurting by the way her face stiffens. ''I was mad at myself for leaving and not being able to help you or Myrtle, or Misty or anyone and especially that I wasn't there for you and- I love you Cordelia'' you admit. You pause for a second just making sure that the supreme can follow your words because you speak really fast and even though she still seems shocked you carry on. ''I love you Dee and I have for so many years, I tried to forget you but it's no use and being this close to you and you telling me that you love me too and you would choose me the last time we met made me realize that I need to stop holding onto the past and focus on the future'' you say. Cordelia blinks a few times, surprised where your sudden change of mind came from because last time you two spoke you were not listening to a single one of her words and you seem so different, so calm and so much like the old and reasonable you. ''I want a future with you Dee'' you say and finally add ''I guess what I'm trying to say is I choose you instead Delia if you let me this time''. The entire time you said that you looked down at your hands and played with them because you were way too nervous to actually look at Cordelia but when you now finally do after finishing and having no words left to say you find her with tears streaming down her face. You place your hand on top of hers on her desk and ask ''Did I upset you? I didn't mean to'' a bit worried about her reaction but you don't understand yet it's happy tears. ''Y/N I am so sorry for never choosing you back then and I love you so much, I am so glad you are here'' and your heart swells at her words. For the next few moments you just look into each other's eyes and you get lost in them. Her brown eyes make you feel like you are looking into heaven because you can see and feel trust and comfort through them. Cordelia breaks eye contact when she slowly gets up from her chair and walks over to where you are sitting and without any words you stand up and the two of you face each other now inches apart. ''Dee?'' you ask and look up at her because she is a bit taller. ''Yes?'' she whispers and the two of you keep moving closer ''I- may I kiss yo-'' you try and ask but before you get to finish you feel her lips on yours. 

Feeling the supreme's lips on yours is like a dream finally coming true. As you close your eyes you see all of these memories from moments where you meant to kiss her and it's all moments you regret not doing it. Some of them a few years back when Hank was never around and you either had a mud fight, or ran through the wet grass or when you had a sleepover got drunk together. You would always stare at her lips but when she looked at you, you looked away avoiding her gaze. Now finally having her lips on yours is like a blessing and suddenly all the pain, the tears and you leaving the academy, coming back with Coco, fighting with Cordelia all seems worth it for just this kiss alone. In this moment you feel truly happy, a happiness you have never felt before not when you achieved things in your life, not when you spent time with friends and not ever. Whatever you have been through so far, your parents leaving you, friends using and leaving you, loosing a job, fighting battles in your head it was all worth it so far because it led you to exactly this moment. With every movement of Cordelia's soft lips on yours it feels like she is healing you and adding one of the broken pieces back together, basically stitching your heart back together. She was originally the source of your pain over the last few years but that's only because she used to be the source of your happiness when the two of you were together. Although you still wish deep down you wouldn't have left and been there for everyone you are starting to accept that everything is meant to happen and things happen for a reason. Neither of you stop kissing each other and Cordelia cupped your cheek a while ago but you feel like you are in heaven, a dream one of your daydreams finally becoming true. It feels like the whole room is spinning and your body feels like you aren't in control anymore because you are a shaking mess, your heart beating so fast and you are so incredibly cold but Cordelia's presence is giving you warmth. Throughout the whole thing you haven't opened your eyes yet and you haven't even noticed that you started crying a while ago into the kiss and the supreme hasn't noticed until right now when she breaks the kiss and cups both of your cheeks with her hands. ''Y/N you are crying'' she states and you open your eyes surprised and once her lips leave yours you feel like you are in control of your body again and now you feel your cheeks wet. ''I'm sorry I don't know why I'm just so happy, this is all I have ever wanted'' you say and she gives you the sweetest smile. You lean in again because you don't want the feeling to be over yet but she simply puts her finger on your lips and says ''Not so fast sweetheart, you gotta get warm and change first you are cold'' and you sigh a little but you know she is right so you nod and she takes your hand and leads you into the bathroom. 

-------------

A/N: Finally!! so excited about this story and chapter, I have one more chapter for you all and I hope you enjoy this so far 💛