TW: verbal abuse
He would always put his arm around her when he knew I was looking. Even the slightest glance and he would give all his attention to her, and I hated how he knew.
How he knew me so well to the point I thought he could hear the breaking of my heart because as he did that I could see his smile fall before I turned to look away. I hated what he was doing to me and how I felt for him even though I had no reason to.
Besides the fact that Josie was known to have been promised to him. The whole town might as well have known considering how loud their parents were about the news.
The warmth in my hands became cold with guilt and I dismissed myself before anyone would notice my attention drifting.
It wouldn't be the first time and certainly not the last as my feet took slow steps to not draw attention to myself, walking through the classroom and outside in the cold.
I had immediately regretted my decision missing the warmth from the fire burning inside but kept going as I headed for the stream.
It didn't take long for Jane to come looking as I had expected. I had heard out for her footsteps and sure enough, they came moments after I had calmed down. It was as if she knew when it was best to approach me.
"You know if you give it time it will be as if they're not even there. How do you think I've tolerated Billy all these years?" That had made a laugh escape my lips and she took it as a sign to sit down beside me. "But honestly time heals all wounds, or so I've heard."
I knew what she had been implying but made no mention of it as I was positive she wasn't ready to speak about it.
"So as much as it pains you to see them together it won't matter in a few months." I felt her hand take mine and I appreciated the gesture as I tightened my hold. "Besides I thought your type was smart boys or was it sweet ones?"
"The kind ones," I answered.
"Gilbert would be more your type wouldn't he?"
"Yeah he would and he was for a while but that was before," I paused giving her a look but she stared at me wide-eyed so I continue to let her connect the dots. "Well, you know, Ruby."
As I finished she seemed to come out of her stupor and spoke.
"How come you've never told me?" She looked surprised at the news as if it was the most scandalous thing she had ever heard. And with her reaction, I wouldn't doubt it, although with what has happened in recent years I knew it wasn't the truth.
I shook my head at her.
"I couldn't." She gave me an incredulous look and I simply rolled my eyes at her. "I couldn't tell anyone, you know how they treated Anne imagine what they'd have done to me."
And she didn't even like him. I had started to remember those times, better days until my thoughts were interrupted.
"Gilbert would be so much better for you we both know that. I don't get what you see in Billy anyway and maybe that's because he's my brother but it's not alright that he's playing games with you. I saw what he was doing in there."
"It's nothing," I said before she could go on but she ignored me as her anger got the best of her. She never did get along with him and on the days she did it was a rare occurrence.
I watched as she ranted about him almost as if she had read my thoughts listing out word for word what I was feeling and what infuriated her most about him. And in a way, I supposed Jane could relate considering the stories she shared about him. Maybe that was what made me fall.