My Feelings

Broken up

Life is a cruel thing to experience but not as cruel as love. Yes I have been in love, still am in love but I'm not with him. It broke my heart... Knowing that he hates me for something I didn't want to do. He pushed me away like what we had meant nothing. Like the 8 months we were together didn't even matter to him. But I too would be the same. I hate me too. I can't live with myself. We haven't been apart that long and I already feel broken. I felt broken the minute he stopped breathing and literally pushed me away when I told him I could no longer be with him. He didn't give me a chance to explain myself. So when he walked away I broke down. I sat on the ground as I cried my heart out... Shouting for him to let me explain but he kept walking, walking out of my life. For the rest of that day I barley talked to anyone. Didn't pay attention in class. Nodded when everyone came up to me asking if I really broke up with him. Crying with every friend that rushed to my side holding me saying everything would be okay. Nothing will okay without him. I sat in the bathroom during lunch because I couldn't for the life of me, face my friends and tell them I didn't want to eat. They would just be disappointed in me. I can't stand the thought of him hurting this way. I just wish I could rewind time. Make everything the way it was before all this messed up crap happened. Go back to the happiness we shared with each other. Now guys will come after me and girls after him. I know how to resist but him... I'm not so sure. He might get with someone else to stop the pain but if he gets with someone else it will just cause more. I don't want him in my life... I need him in my life. Without him I feel like I'm nothing. Like I'm just a worthless person who ruined an incredible persons life.