Steel Hearts

- 29 -

Twenty-two days.

It's been twenty-two days since Wakanda. It's been twenty-two days since half of the universe disappeared. We spent every single one of those days searching for a way to get everyone back. We searched high and low for Thanos.

Taking count of who was left, we knew that Wakanda left us with Steve, Rhodey, Natasha, Thor, Okoye, Bruce, Rocket, and me. No one knew where Scott Lang was or Maria Hill, Nick Fury, or Barton even. We were the only Avengers left.

I hadn't seen Scott or Barton since we were in the prison together. We didn't exactly keep tabs on each other since then. I only knew that the two of them had taken the house arrest deal because of their families. We had no idea where to even begin looking for Maria and Fury; we hadn't seen them since Sokovia. No one had seen Tony either. For all, we knew he had dusted away as well.

We weren't sure who had found it, but an upgraded pager had been brought to us. No one knew who the signal transmitted to or even where in the universe. Bruce had hooked it up to a battery, boosting the signal. All we hoped for is that it would call someone to help and it did. Three days after the blip, Carol Danvers - also known as Captain Marvel - had arrived. She knew Fury and came searching for him. The pager was for her. After coming to the conclusion that she was friendly enough and explaining to her what happened, she left for space to search for our missing team members.

Steve and I spent countless hours awake, desperately searching for a way to fix what had happened. Thankfully, our things hadn't been removed from the Compound. Meaning, our quick return was relatively seamless. Our first night back was spent in silence. Neither of us quite knew what to say or even if we should say something. Our sadness and grief got the better of us as we retreated back into our respective minds.

I had isolated myself in our room, not quite wanting to speak to anyone. Other than Steve, I confided in Thor. The two of us felt similar emotions. We had failed to defeat Thanos and now we were suffering the consequences. Often wanting the company of the others, we found ourselves sitting in the lounge. The Compound was quiet with only the seven of us there. Okoye had stayed in Wakanda to tend to her people. Nat and I didn't have to speak to know that we both needed comfort. She didn't know where Barton, her best friend, was and could only assume the worst until we got confirmation of him still being alive.

Currently, I was curled into a ball in a chair in the corner of the room I shared with Steve. A warm mug filled with tea was steaming on the side table as my eyes fell to the window, watching as the sun fell and painted the horizon in swirls of pink and blue. The laptop next to me ticked with numbers. Countries around the world were taking a census of who had survived and who disappeared. I hadn't been able to reach my oldest brother Jeremy, he was stationed at Camp Pendleton in San Diego. Andrew was stationed closer to me at Fort Hamilton in New York City; he hadn't been able to reach our brother either, thankfully Andrew had answered my phone call on the first ring.

Steve had entered the room silently, making his presence known by a gentle kiss placed on the crown of my head. He moved from behind me to squad down to my eye level, hands delicately placed on my knees. One glance at him and my walls broke. I cried for the first time since returning from Wakanda. Wordlessly, Steve pulled me down onto the floor with him; curled in his lap, the wet spot on his shirt grew larger with the more tears that I shed. His arms were wrapped around me tightly as he stroked my hair and whispered calming words into my ear, gently lulling me to calmness once more. I was safe and I was home with my love, but nothing could fix the brokenness in my soul that felt for those that we had lost. I wished with everything I had that we could change what happened, but we couldn't.

"I love you," my voice quivered and was barely audible through the sniffles as I used the long sleeve of my shirt to wipe away the stray tears that clung to my cheeks. Leaning away from him to look up into his eyes, they spoke volumes. He was worried about me. Worried that I might decide enough was enough and leave again.