Never Not [Taekook]

NN 15

Taehyung.

In the afternoon, I ventured to my gallery, seeking answers from Jisoo. Her account revealed that Bogum, in a drunken state, had intruded, unsettling everyone with his disruptive presence.

Jisoo disclosed that Bogum, in tears, persistently expressed how much he missed me after our call ended.

Presently, I find myself at my cherished Miktea shop, contemplating the peculiar events. Jisoo mentioned that Bogum departed upon realizing the gravity of his actions. As I sip my strawberry milkshake, I can't help but ponder the significance of Bogum's words.

While in the past, such a declaration might have elicited joy, the current circumstances paint a different picture. My feelings for him have faded, yet a lingering sense of pity remains. Bogum, not one to willingly subject himself to embarrassment, leaves me perplexed. Does his heartfelt admission signify genuine longing, or is it merely a fleeting sentiment?

I sighed once again and stood up. Heading to the counter to settle my bills, I turned around only to encounter the two individuals I least wanted to face today. A gulp caught in my throat as Jungkook's gaze fixed on me. My eyes reluctantly fell upon Jungkook's arm draped over Jessie's shoulder, with her hand resting on his waist.

"Taehyung?" he mumbled.

Summoning a forced smile, I approached them. My eyes briefly met Jessie's, who was observing and smiling at me. Returning the smile, I shifted my attention back to Jungkook. "I never thought I would see you here, Tae," he remarked.

"I went to my gallery and dropped by before heading home," I replied, glancing at Jessie. "Nice to see you here, Jessie."

She smiled in return. "Nice to see you here too, Oppa," she shyly expressed. I chuckled, ruffling her hair.

"Have a nice date, Kookie," I said, masking any bitterness in my voice. Offering another smile, I bid them goodbye.

Once I escaped the confines of the shop, I gasped for breath, fingers clutching at my shirt over my heart, a sensation akin to a needle's stab coursing through me. Swallowing hard, I attempted to dislodge the lump in my throat, tears subtly moistening my eyes.

When will the day arrive when I can look into your eyes without the ache and unshed tears?

When will the day unfold where I witness her by your side without my heart in torment?

When will the moment materialize for me to declare that I'm completely fine, even as you tightly hold her hand before me?

I yearn for that imminent day because enduring this has become unbearable. I'm breaking once more but I refuse to let tears stain my cheeks again. I crave happiness and I'm already weary of weeping. I refuse to cry anew and just want to purge these tormenting feelings.

Yet, how? How do I navigate this labyrinth of emotions when glimpsing you with the woman destined to share your life tears at my heart? How do I wrestle with these surging feelings inside me? How do I evade you when even a single day without you is insufferable? How?

I took a deep breath, wiping away the solitary tear that escaped my right eye. Lifting my gaze to prevent more tears from falling, I placed my hands on either side of my chest, taking in a profound breath.

After one last sweeping glance around, I headed to my car. The engine roared to life as I drove towards our house - a haven filled with joyous memories. Soon, I'll inhabit it alone. Yoongi and Jimin had already purchased a house, while Namjoon and Jin-hyung planned to relocate to their new abode next to their family house. Hoseok secured a condominium unit yesterday. Jungkook is on the path to marriage, destined to share a home with Jessie. And I? I'll be left alone.

I allowed myself to release the pain through tears. Why is my life so messed up? Yes, I boast the finest gallery in town. Yes, my friends are the best. Yes, I earn a considerable income. Yes, I can bring joy to those around me. But why does my love life have to be the worst?

A profound sigh escaped me as I navigated the wheel, steering toward our house.

Perhaps Yoongi is right. I should have cherished myself more, cared for myself more, valued myself more. I ought to have prioritized myself before him.

Now, I vow to push myself to relinquish this love. To traverse the arduous path of moving on, even if it feels like an insurmountable task. This is a journey for myself, a path I must navigate solo.

My phone buzzed, and as I fished it out of my pocket, my gaze remained fixed on the road. The notification, when revealed, brought forth a wave of both eagerness and anxiety.

Unknown number:

I apologize for this morning, Tae. I'm sincerely sorry. Can we have a conversation so I can formally extend my apology to you?

This is Bogum.

But using him as my motivation to move on wouldn't hurt, right? I won't exploit him, but maybe he can be the catalyst for my healing. It won't hurt, will it?

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