Never Not [Taekook]

NN 11

Taehyung.

The park's cold night air surrounds me as I sit alone on a bench, legs swaying, and hair tousled by the breeze. I've lingered here since leaving YoonMin's house. Despite their reluctance, I assured them I'd head straight home—a promise I broke.

Sighing repeatedly, I scan the park, observing people lost in their own worlds. My attention is drawn to a happy couple on a bench nearby. Unlike my usual cringe at such displays, jealousy and longing wash over me.

I crave that tenderness, a connection where someone holds me like the man does his girl, looks at me with genuine fondness, and speaks words of love that resonate deep within. Bitterly smiling, I realize I desire this only with a specific raven-haired individual.

Yoongi's advice echoes in my mind—avoid Jungkook to quell these growing emotions. Yet, I find myself torn, as this forbidden yearning strangely feels right. I smile bitterly, acknowledging the complexity of my emotions.

Reflecting on Yoongi's words, I remember learning real love from Jungkook—more profound than my past relationships. A tear escapes, grappling with the reality that I can't call him mine. The agony intensifies, pondering the prospect of avoiding him.

Loving someone who doesn't reciprocate is a profound ache, a pain I never anticipated. Regret echoes through me, recalling moments I laughed off Yoongi-hyung's similar struggles.

Wiping away tears, I rose and approached my car, engulfed in guilt. As I reached for the door, Jin-hyung's call interrupted the somber night.

“Hello, hyung?” I said, my voice carrying the weight of unspoken turmoil.

“Oh god, Taehyung! Where are you?!” Jin-hyung's concern gripped me, and I admitted, “I'm on my way home,” hastily starting the car.

His sigh of relief didn't ease my guilt. “Next time, call me if you're out late. I'm sick with worry.”

“I'm really sorry, hyung,” I muttered genuinely, cursing myself for the deception.

“I'm not accustomed to this, Tae. You never stay out this late. I called your gallery; they said you left with Jungkook at lunch. I saw him getting out of his car this afternoon, but I brushed it off, assuming you were with YoonMin. Yet, YoonMin's here, informing us you left their house at 7, and, Tae, it's past midnight. You can't fault me for feeling this concern.”

Gulping down the lump in my throat, tears welled up, realizing the web of lies I'd woven. Confessing the argument with Jungkook, the call to YoonMin, the solitude in the park, and the unspoken feelings for Jungkook—knowing he was engaged—created a storm of emotions and it all remained unsaid. Anticipating their reaction, the impending words hung heavy in the air.

“I'm really sorry, hyung. Don't worry; I'm on my way home,” I said, masking the cracks threatening to surface.

“I don't know what's going on with you these days, but I hope you're okay, Tae. If you have a problem, talk to me or Namjoon-hyung. You can rely on us, you know that, right?” His words hung in the air, and I nodded despite the physical distance.

“Drive safely. We'll wait for you,” he said, a soft assurance that momentarily eased my turmoil.

After the call, I dried my tears, parking near Yoongi-hyung's car beside Jungkook's. Glancing at the mirror, I hastily wiped away my tears, applying baby powder to conceal the evidence of my emotional turmoil.

Exiting the car, I strode towards the house, unlocking the gate. As I gazed at our grand home, a wistful smile tugged at my lips. While this was my residence, I found an unexpected solace in Jungkook, making life's challenges more bearable.

Upon reaching the door, I turned the knob, peeking inside. Six heads in the living room swiveled towards me, rising in unison. Maintaining a smile, I entered, shutting the door behind me, taking a moment to compose myself before facing their expectant gazes.

Facing them, I offered a strained smile. "I'm sorry for causing concern. I won't let it happen again," I apologized, bowing in acknowledgment.

Jimin's emotional outburst was palpable. "Oh my god, Taehyung," he exclaimed, rushing to envelop me in a tight embrace. Laughter mingled with tears as we clung to each other. With closed eyes, I felt his comforting palm on my back, absorbing the warmth of his concern.

"I hope you're okay, Tae," Jimin whispered, a sentiment shared between just us. A genuine smile played on my lips. "I'm okay, Jiminie," I reassured, opening my eyes. His hand cupped my face, radiating reassurance, and a tender smile accompanied a light kiss on my forehead.

Playfully, he slapped me, exclaiming, "That's for making me worry and still having the guts to laugh." Our laughter resonated in the room as I ruffled his hair. Hoseok-hyung joined in, leaping towards me to flick my forehead, garnering a playful pout as I massaged the affected spot.

"You insolent child," Hoseok-hyung teased. "You almost scared the life out of me. I woke up this evening because Jin was yelling names. Jeez..." he grumbled, eliciting a smack from Jin-hyung. The room reverberated with shared amusement, momentarily easing the weight on my shoulders.

"Don't forget the honorifics, Hoseok. I'm still older than you. Just because you're text mate with my cousin doesn't mean you can call me without the honorifics," Jin-hyung playfully interjected. He approached me, and as we embraced, he swiftly flicked my ear.

“Ouch, hyung!” I protested, and he responded by sticking his tongue out, provoking laughter from everyone. In frustration, Jin-hyung hid his face in the crook of his boyfriend's neck, a sight that I found adorable.

Amidst the laughter, my eyes gravitated toward a certain raven-haired guy still standing, his gaze fixed on us. The worry in his eyes stirred an undeniable longing to comfort him.

I shifted my gaze to Yoongi-hyung standing beside him, his expression blank but the concern in his eyes unmistakable. Eyes never lied.

“Where have you been, Tae? You told us that you'll come straight here,” Yoongi-hyung inquired in a fatherly tone. Nervously, I smiled and looked down, fiddling with my fingers and biting my lip.

I chewed on my lip, feeling his glare. “I'm sorry, hyung. I didn't mean to lie—”

Jin-hyung intervened, redirecting the focus. “Let's leave Tae and let him rest. You're all tired; it's been a long day. He can explain tomorrow.” The suggestion was met with collective agreement, but the lingering tension remained, especially in the worried eyes of Jungkook and Yoongi-hyung.

"Okay, I'll let you slip for now. Go and get some rest,” Yoongi-hyung said with a stern tone.

I nodded obediently, making my way towards my room. Climbing the stairs, I reached the last step and stole a glance at them. Their collective gaze followed me, so I offered a reassuring smile before disappearing into my room.

Once inside, I promptly collapsed onto the bed, curling up into a ball as I allowed the tears to flow freely.

This pain seemed relentless, intertwining itself with the feelings I harbored for Jungkook.

And in the stillness of my room, I pondered: How could love persist despite the torment it brought?

—————