Alone.
That was the word of the month. The word she had related to for a while now. The word she hates and despises. Her ex was the reason for this.
When her parents surprise her and her sister on a vacation to Hawaii, she hopes that she can relea...
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Loneliness is not a lack of company, loneliness is a lack of purpose.
I have heard that quote about 12 times these past few months. A lot of them coming from my mother, who is very displeased with me being alone all the time. She should blame Jacob for that, not me. He is a fucking coward. Such a piece of shit. I feel bad for whomever he is going to taunt next.
stepping off of the school bus I take in a big breath. Breathing in and out very slowly. That was just the last day of school, well, at least until September.
"Fucking move, I have places to be." A kid from behind me says. I forgot I was standing in front of the exit.
"Sorry." My voice coated in embarrassment. I am such a fucking dumbass, I think, walking away from the exit and down to my house.
While I walk down to my house, all I can think about is ways to feel free again, like life matters. I've tried dropping all of my friends, which you can tell, did not work. I have changed my aesthetic about 3 times to find the one that matches me. None of them worked. A boyfriend would probably work, but I am not ready for one yet, at least emotionally.
I look up and notice I have arrived at my destination. My home. It looked huge from the outside, but because of my mom and dad's shit, the house is cluttered. I told them that cleaning, would be a very good option for their mental health, but because I am a stupid 18-year-old, that idea was quickly thrown away.
I open the door and am met with my mom, who currently looks like that one smiling emoji.
"Woah, what has you so happy?" I say to my mom. Walking all the way into my home I notice my dad and sister plastering that same smile onto their faces. They are both sitting on the couch staring at my mom and me.
"Guess where we are going, honey," I swear, if it's my grandma's house, I will walk to the nearest bridge.
"Where?" I replied, my voice full of curiosity.
"Hawaii." No. Fucking. Way.
"Nice joke mom, almost got me." There is no way I am falling for this again. Last time, it was New York.
"Why would this be a joke? All of our bags are packed." she points to three suitcases sitting on the kitchen table. "You better hurry, we leave tomorrow morning. But yeah, if you think it's a joke, then don't come." Her lips curled into a smile as she gestured her hands to the staircase.
"No way, how long have you known we were doing this," I say to my dad and sister.
"I just figured out today and dad said he came up with the plan." My sister says, her high-pitched voice filling the air.
A big smile sets onto my face. I probably also look like that smiling emoji. I run up the stairs and try to find the suitcase that I took when we went to Orlando Florida for spring break last year. That was one of the best times I have ever had with my family. No boys, no drama, no fighting, it felt like heaven. That was a month before the devil entered my life, my ex. He scarred me, made me feel worthless. When he broke up with me, I felt even more worthless.
