Love in a Confusing Time

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So... now what?

I look at her across the living room from me and I can feel the distance between us.

Where do we go from here? I mean, Cheryl is our friend. We care about her. Finding out she was the one to do this to us makes it harder to deal with. It would be easier if she was someone we didn't know, or didn't care about so much. But to have her hurt us like this? I don't know how to feel about that.


She looks up at me and I quickly look away to avoid direct eye contact.

Worse than that though is the fact that I don't know how to feel about Ronnie now. I wasn't planning on saying what I did about the things Cheryl did screwing with what we had. It just kinda came out without really thinking about it. Now I'm not sure how true it actually is.


"So Cheryl's going to be okay?"

"Yeah, Jug was able to find a good psychiatrist for her and they think they can help. Thank you for getting your parents to pay for that by the way."

She takes a deep breath.

"It's the least I could do. I mean I haven't been the best friend to Cheryl. I can't help but think that if I had been..."

She shouldn't...


"You can't think like that Ronnie. Yes, we both could've been nicer to her, but her family had problems long before either of us came along. And how were we supposed to know? I mean Toni said she didn't even know. She said that Cheryl was acting weird but she thought it was just typical Cheryl weirdness."

There's a moment of silence between us before Ronnie speaks up again.

"So... what now?"

What now?


"What do you mean?"

"What do we do now? With us..."

Another, longer silence hits us.

That's the question isn't it?


"I don't know. I mean, how do we do anything at all? If we get together, officially anyway, then what happens?"

"We'd be a thing."

"True but... should we be?"

That makes her give me a confused look.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, are we feeding into Cheryl's condition if we actually, you know..."

"Become a couple?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know B. But I don't know that I can make decisions about my life based on what a sick person thinks of us. I want Cheryl to get better too, but the way I feel about you? I'm not sure I can ignore it. I'm not sure I want to."

She's right about that.


"I don't know that I want to either. But I also don't want to hurt Cheryl."

She gets this smile on her face that's really cute.

"Oh Betty, you're so adorable when you worry. It's one of the things I lo... like about you. It's one of the things I like about you."

Did she just almost say what I think she was about to say?


There's a silence between us for a moment.

"Look..."

She gets up and walks over with purpose, sitting right next to me on the couch.

"I like you Betty and you like me right?"

"Yes."

"If we're not going to blame ourselves for what Cheryl did, then we can't make decisions based on what would and wouldn't hurt her. We just have to do what feels right and live with whatever comes next. So the question is..."

Her hand reaches up and touches my cheek, caressing it gently. I can't help but nuzzle myself into her hand.

God she feels incredible.


"Does that feel right?"

There's only one real answer I can give to that.


"Yes..."

She turns my face to look at each other and the look in her eyes gives me chills.

How does she even do that to me?


"Then what else matters?"

Like we're on auto-pilot, we lean into each other and our lips meet. Slowly, the kiss deepens and my body tingles more and more with every second the kiss continues. After a while, we come up for air and break apart.

I know I shouldn't, but...


"You're right, but how do we know that it will last? I mean... it could just be the excitement of being discovered and the threats Cheryl made?"

"Well, there's one way to find out."

I'm about to ask her to what she means when I feel her hand on my inner thigh. Every part of my leg tingles at her touch and it quickly spreads up to my most sensitive place. We look at each other and the intensity is overwhelming.

"We said we'd wait until whoever was stalking us was caught, well..."

She's right, we did say that. And despite the stalker being gone, I still feel something really intense for her. Maybe we should...


I reach out and pull her head to mine. We kiss and the intensity just keeps building. Her hand moves its way up my thigh, sending waves of sensation through me with every movement closer to where my leg and my hips meet. Suddenly, her fingers brush against my jeans just near my most private part and it makes me moan into her mouth. Then she starts playing with my belt.

I don't want her to stop but I know she has to.


Pulling away, she groans as we look at each other.

"Wait..."

The need in her eyes is obvious.

"What? Please don't tell me..."

"No... I, I want to, it's just... my mom would kill me if she came home and found our clothes all over."

Her smile turns to a grin.

"Then should we take things... upstairs?"

That gives me reason to smirk back. I stand up and hold out my hand to her.

"Would you..."

I don't even finish the sentence before she takes my hand and stands up with me.

"I'd love to."

I start making my way to the stairs, leading the way, our hands clasp together. We reach the bottom of the stairs and start to climb, every step making the anticipation more and more intense.

I can't believe I'm doing this. I can't believe we're doing this. I've wanted this for a long time and now it's actually happening. There's been times since I realized what was happening between us when I didn't think it would ever happen. But it is and I couldn't be happier.


At the top of the stairs, I turn to face her, walking backwards and seeing the look of pure desire on her face. She moves into my personal space quickly and it makes me back into a wall right next to my room, with her pushing herself up against me, kissing me deeply. I feel her whole body weight on me as we lock lips and I can't help but moan into her mouth as she slips her thigh in between mine.

Despite myself, I use one hand to fumble for my door knob. Eventually I get it open, pushing her back to break the kiss, giant smiles on both our faces. I move through the doorway and into my room, holding out my hand as I do.

"Won't you please come in?"

She takes my hand and I lead her inside.

"I thought you'd never ask."

We close the door behind us.

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