Title comes from a small local band the song is called "What we live for" and the band is called We Have No Hope.
It was exactly when Alex rolled out of my bed and walked towards my bathroom as my brother walked past my door with a rather clingy Rian on his side, Rian let go instantly and headed straight out our house. Nick walked in as Alex started to close the bathroom door.
"Ni you didn't did you?" Nick questioned.
"Nick I'm not sure. I'm so sorry, I wasn't myself last night the last thing I remember was talking to Jack's exes and telling myself I don't deserve him."
"Well acting like this you don't deserve him!"
"And like you deserve Alex. I saw you sneak Rian out, love bites and all."
"Look we're both as bad as eachother, I've stolen your boyfriends before and you've stolen mine. I've slept with yours and as of now you've slept with mine. You don't mention Rian to Alex and I won't mention Alex to Jack okay?"
"So what we're relying on black mail now?"
"Just take what you can Naiome its the best you have right now given the situation here."
"Fine I'm going to go get a shower in your room and get dressed whilst you can deal with him in there." I pointed to my bathroom door.
"We'll leave him to recover himself. "
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. He's grouchy after a night drinking."
I sighed and grabbed myself some clothes from my cupboards before heading out into Nick's room.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
When I'd gotten dressed I checked my phone to find I had thirty missed calls from Jack, and just as many texts. I read through them briefly mostly asking where I was and if I was okay. I opted out of reading them all and decided to ring him.
"Hey baby where did you go last night?" Jack asked.
"I went home Alex decided to head back with me to see if I was okay." I hope thats why he came back with me.
"Okay, Erm are you in any state to drive?"
"Yeah, do you need me to pick you up?"
"Please Ni. I'm still at the party."
"Okay give me five minutes and I'll be right there."
" How do I do to deserve a girl like you?"
"I think I should be saying that about you Jack." I started walking out to my car.
"Ni?"
"Yes Jack?"
"I love you."
"I love you too." But I doubt he'd say that if he knew the truth.
I hung up the phone and drove to the former party grounds which looked pretty wrecked. I'd ended up picking Zack and Fran up as well as Jack. I couldn't hold eyecontact with Jack knowing what I did so I was lucky to have the excuse of driving as to why I didn't look at him that much.
"Ni?" Jack asked when we pulled up at Zack's house.
"Yes."
"Please look at me, I'm sorry for dragging you to that party and then ditching you and having to make you come pick me up."
I looked up at him and all I could think about was how much I betrayed him.
"You have nothing to be sorry for Jack. I just wasn't in that much of a partying mood thats all."
He leaned in and kissed me. Thats all that went through my head at that moment, him kissing me. It was one night that neither myself or Alex would remember. I doubt it meant anything to Alex so I just accepted it as just an accident.
Jack broke away from the kiss and smiled at me. "Feel better?"
I nodded.
"Good, hey we should head back to mine and watch some films or something." Jack smiled.
"Sure."
I drove us to Jack's and as we were getting out the car my phone rang.
"Go in I'll just get this." I smiled to Jack. He came over and kissed me before letting me answer my phone.
"Hello?"
"Lets play a little game." What the fuck.
"Who is this?"
"I'd suggest you play the game.*
"What sort of game monopoly or something?"
The caller chuckled. "No, I was thinking more of a how can you convince me not to tell your brother or your boyfriend what happened last night?"
"And what did happen last night?"
"You slept with your brother's boyfriend."
"That old news. Nick used to sleep around with a lot of mine so..."
"Oh you won't mind me checking with Jack the-"
"What the hell do you want from me!"
"So Jack doesn't know."
"No he flipping doesn't know because I've been waiting for the right moment to tell him."
"I don't think that would be the wisest Idea."
"And what makes you so sure of that?"
"Well for one I'm his best friend and two I know just how much it would hurt him if he found out I was fully sober at the time."
"Then its only gonna hurt you Alex."
"Not when the press gets a hold of it. I'd bet they'll have a field day!"
"No, this stays between us or I'll have a few things to share about you. They'll be more damage for you than there will be for me."
"Maybe in the spotlight but see I'd only lose a friend and a fling where as you'd lose your brother and a boyfriend."
"So what my brother is a fling to you?!"
"When you're famous everythings a fling."
"No when your a fucking cunt everything is a fling to you!" I hung up and walked straight up to Jack's bedroom, sitting on his bed beside Jack.
"Who was on the phone?"
"Managment." I twisted to face Jack and I put his hand between mine. "Jack?"
"Yes."
"I know it will probably be hard for you to do but I will make it up to you."
"I'm not sure where this is going."
"Could you please not speak to Alex for a couple of days?"
"Why? Oh I think I know."
"Huh?"
"I think its cause Nick tried to grope me at the party. I stopped him though!" He smiled.
"Yeah thats why." I lied. I should give him some truth though.
Jack pulled me into a cuddle. "I love you and if you don't want me to Alex I won't."
"I'll try and sort things out soon I promise!" I kissed him.
"You're missing something."
"Oh yeah. I love you too Jacky!"
