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chapter forty a letter from hawkins
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"Do you blame yourself?"
Doctor Cordelia Monroe was a kind woman. She wore bright colours to every appointment and her ruby red glasses only added to her "fun mom" appearance. She held a clipboard in her arms, and the diamond of her wedding ring glimmered from the sunlight bleeding into the room from the windows. Every little detail in her face held the tone she spoke in; pitiful, sorry and curious.
Ruth Newby wanted to roll her eyes, but only because of the irony of the question. She seemed to blame herself for a lot of things. Her mother's death; Ava Fleur's death; framing Ace Fleur for the murder of his sister; her dad's death; Sky Butcher getting flayed. She blamed herself for not being strong enough for any of those situations. Rue should've been stronger, and she should've fought better.
Ruth winced as she thought about it. She twisted and tugged on the rings on her fingers as she swallowed thickly and leaned back on the chair. "What are you talking about?"
Rue felt the same way she did two years before, hiding behind the high walls she'd formed after moving to Hawkins. The barriers she built eventually brought down after meeting her new family, friends, and people she loved with her whole being. All of it was taken down just for her to rebuild them after having her heart shattered.
She sought to hide behind it once more, and she tried to rebuild those walls, bigger and stronger than before. And Rue made them out of rage and betrayal.
This time, however, they were cracking and on the verge of collapsing.
Something else was trying to break in and view her fragile state through the walls. Something was pounding on the walls, attempting to knock them down since it knew she couldn't hold them up for long. They will ultimately break.
