Better Days

Chapter 11

Jotaro lay on the couch, absently staring at the blank TV. Noriaki had been gone almost a week and he was beginning to wonder if his boyfriend would ever return.

He'd tried to find him but to no avail. Kakyoin either left town completely or was using cash to pay for everything. He definitely didn't want to be found.
Jotaro sighed and scrubbed his hands over his face, pausing when he heard a key in the door. He sat up quickly, hoping beyond all reason that a certain redhead would walk in.

His hopes were not in vain.

Noriaki walked in, looking just as haggard as he felt. He paused just inside the doorway when he noticed Jotaro staring at him.

"Nori..."

"Jotaro."

"I was beginning to think you wouldn't come back..."

"I didn't know if I was wanted..."

"Nori, how could you think..."

"I'm not him, Jotaro. I never was."

"I know that. I don't care."

Noriaki's face scrunched up in confusion, "How could you not care? It's him you've been in love with this whole time! Not me! It was never ME!"
Jotaro stood and took a step forward, "I can't deny that what you say was true, at first. I did love you in the beginning because I thought you were him. But by the time we confessed to each other...everything was different, Nori..."

Noriaki shook his head, "No..."

Jotaro slowly crossed the room as he spoke, "Nori, I love YOU. I love the man you have become. I love your dry sense of humor, the way you get all blushy when I kiss you just beneath your ear, your creativity, your smile, it's different than his, you know? It's a bit wider, a bit brighter. It reaches your eyes more than his ever did. I love you, Nori. Not Kakyoin. I do see the difference. And while I am sad that he's gone...I couldn't imagine my life without YOU." He finished softly, carefully reaching out to pull Noriaki into his arms as the other man sobbed.

Noriaki buried his face into Jotaro's chest and clung to him as he cried. Relief surged through him at his boyfriend's words and overflowed into tears. He let Jotaro lead him over to the couch and they sat down, cuddled closely together, silent for a long time as Noriaki slowly regained control over his emotions.

"Are you sure you are ok with this? You don't want the real Kakyoin back?"

"I don't want to lose you" Jotaro said.

"But Mr. Joestar said I could get the memories back..."

"It's too risky."

"What do you mean?"

"Jiji said that there's a 50/50 chance that the process could erase the memories you have made since you woke up."

"Oh..."

"Yeah. I...I cant tell you what to do, Nori. But please..."

"Wouldn't you want to see him again? Talk to him? He gave his life for you. Surely he has more to offer than I do."

"Why are you trying to convince me to let you go?" Jotaro asked, a touch of anger sparking in his tone.

"I'm not! I just...I don't see how I can compare to someone like that..."

"You don't have to compare to him. This isn't some sort of contest. I love you. I don't want to loose you. You don't have to live up to Kakyoin's deeds. I don't expect you to."

"But I was...made to bring him back. What am I really but an incomplete person? I'm half of what I could be if I were to do the transfer! I don't like being half a person, Jotaro!"

"You are Noriaki! You are not half a person! You are beautiful and wonderful! You do not need to prove yourself!"

"But what if I want the transfer?"

"I...I...Nori...please..."

"I...I don't know yet, Jojo. I just don't know..."

Jotaro gently pushed Noriaki away from him, "Nori, look at me." He paused until his boyfriend met his eyes, "I can't loose you again. Please, Nori. You don't need to be anything more than who you are now. The man before me is the one I love. Please..."

Jotaro begging was almost to much for him. He still didn't know what he wanted. He'd thought a lot about it in the past few days. Should he have the procedure and return the original Kakyoin or should he remain as he was? He wasn't sure. He looked into Jotaro's pleading eyes and gave a hesitant nod, knowing, deep down, that it was a lie.

Jotaro sighed in relief, "Thank you." He said, pulling Noriaki into a tight hug, "I love you so much, Nori." He whispered before connecting their lips in a deep, passionate kiss.

***************

Hours later, Noriaki lay next to a peacefully sleeping Jotaro. He ran his fingers through his boyfriend's raven locks and drank in the beautiful sight before him.

He had lied. For the first time in their relationship, he had lied to Jotaro.

He knew the moment he nodded his head in assent to what Jotaro asked, that he would be leaving, possibly forever.

With a sigh, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to Jotaro's lips.

With that, he got out of bed and started packing a bag. He looked back to the bed and made sure Jotaro was still sleeping soundly before sneaking into their shared closet. He flipped through his carefully arranged outfits until he came to the suit he'd worn when Joseph had taken him out to eat that first time and slipped his hand into the pocket, pulling out a small, black ring box. He paused and opened it, looking at the gold band with a star shaped amethyst stone and sighed again.

Maybe, just maybe, he would be able to remember what it was for when this was all over.

He put the ring box in his pocket and left the closet, walking over to the bed where the love of his life slept and just watched him for a long moment. Jotaro was so beautiful when he slept. All his worries seemed to melt away and his face relaxed. Sometimes he even smiled in his sleep. Noriaki always hoped that he was the reason for those smiles.

Lately, he wasn't so sure.

But it was time to find out.

He leaned down and gave Jotaro one last kiss before whispering, "I'm so sorry. I love you..."

Then, after only a moment's hesitation, just a second to reconsider his decision, Noriaki picked up his bag and left the apartment.

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Ooooooo....

Kakyoin! Did you buy that ring?!

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