Shrek was petrified, "I can't be on trial!! The law will find out about me eating Fiona!". Shrek thought as he grabbed the chalice. Vanelope spoke in a soft tone to calm down the ogre, "Now explain Shrek, why you decided to serve this...substance to a child?".
"I-I u-um-, the green beast panicked, and out of stress, fucking ate Vanelope. "FBI OPEN UP OR WE WILL HAVE TO USE FORCE!!". Shrek broke out of his house using the backdoor, but someone was waiting for him...not the FBI...someone who Shrek actually cared about. "R-ralph, ?" the shorter green man whispered as to not alert the police. The big fisted giant leaped with joy as to seeing his senpai again, "BABYYY SENPPAIIIIII~".
All units of the police force were alerted due to Ralph's glee.
"WE NEED ALL UNITS TO REPORT TO THE SWAMP, I REPEAT, WE NEED ALL UNITS TO REPORT TO THE SWAMP!!!," shouted one of the chiefs outside the green man's once peaceful home. "S-senpai s-s-shrek?," Ralph stuttered out. " *Sigh* Yes dearest?, " somberly spoke the so told 'senpai'.
"I know what you did my love, I was looking through the window, watching you while I beat my m- anyways- I know how to save you from going back to jail," stated the compassionate giant. Shrek gasped from both surprise and joy, "W-WAIT REALLY??? HOW??". Ralph stared at the floor, twisting his ankle cutely and doing shy boy movements with his hands. The ogre instantly knew what his plan was.
"Ralph...dearest...are you sure you can do this?? It's really risky, but honestly, I will do anything to prevent myself from going back to that hell-hole they call, 'Rehab for Pedophiles', "Shrek explains quickly do to the adrenaline rush this whole thing is giving him. "Senpai- I can deep throat the entire magic school bus, including the students and Mrs. Frizzle, I think I can do this just fine," Ralph stated calmly as to not alarm Shrek. The ogre was getting increasingly more and more concerned about their plan, "What if he can't do it? What if I hurt him? What if that was my pregnancy test that was positive,?" Shrek thought as calm as humanly possible for him.
What plan are they talking about? Will Shrek really get arrested for serving a minor a goblet of alcohol? Find out on the next chapter!
Author 1 Note - Please help.
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I'm Gonna Shrek It 💖 A Wreck it Ralph x Shrek fanfic
RomanceEver since Shrek ate Fiona because of his uncontrolled urges, he had been lonely in his swamp ever since. The only person that Ralph has ever loved is Venelope but that's illegal so he can't do that. When Shrek and Ralph come across each other, will...