Potion

Feeling Good

I did just as I promised. I got home late, and found my mom asleep on the couch, the TV blaring. I shut off the TV and pulled a blanket around my mom. She looked so peaceful. So calm and regular. How she should be.

I went to the kitchen and turned the faucet on warm water. I stuck my cut hand under it. Biting my lip, I forced some peroxide onto the scrape. It burned and bubbled. I did a dance on my feet, trying not to wake my mom. When the stinging vanished, I applied a band aid. It was one of the extra large kinds. And unfortunately, it had Elmo on it. We hadn't gotten new ones since I was little. It looked ridiculous, but I had made a promise. Jesse would expect me to follow through.

I lay in my bed now, looking at my Elmo band aid, and thinking about the night. Jesse was so sweet. He had told me practically everything about his life. I would have to do the same tomorrow. I was fine with that. I could tell him about my dad, who I never got to meet. My mom who worried over me constantly. But one thing was for sure. He would not know about my tumor. I came to that conclusion immediately. I would just have to edit around it.

As these thoughts swirled in my head, I wondered if Jesse was thinking about me, too. His cocky grin flashed in my mind, making me smile. Then a black pit of unconsciousness took me away from reality.

"Yes dear we are going to visit Aunt Jolie this weekend."

I groaned. Great. Aunt Jolie was probably the strictest person I've ever meet. I only saw her about once a year, and trust me, that was almost too much. She had natural black hair, like me. Except it was coarse and she never did anything to it. She had a thin frame and tight blue eyes. Her lips always donned bright red lipstick, which looked downright revolting. She criticized everyone on their eating habits, even complete strangers! I swear, I never want to eat out with her. I was especially scared for this weekend. How would she treat me this time?

"C'mon Willow, it won't be that bad. My sister loves you, even if she doesn't show it. We leave in two days, so I'll start helping you pack tomorrow." My mom explained.

"Ok mom, but I'm going to the creek again today." I paused. "And tomorrow."

She eyed me with worrying sapphire eyes. "Okay honey. You sure love that place, but I'm good with whatever you want. I love you

I tried not to roll my eyes.

With a forced smile, I left the kitchen.

I went to my room and stood there for a second. It was noon, and I'd just had lunch. What to do? I pondered a second longer. Then I grabbed my shoes, and threw on an old patterned sweater. I tugged my hair up into a bun. I stepped into my converse. With a click of my nails, I took my phone off my bedside counter, putting it into my back pocket. Just in case. I walked to the kitchen, found my mom on her phone. Again, like yesterday.

"Going out early. Bye mom!" I called to her, waving nonchalantly.

She was talking intensely, and looked up to see me leaving.

"Be safe sweetheart!" She shouted just as I closed the porch door. She was bound to have said something more sappy than that, and I was glad I couldn't hear it.

I trotted down the old wooden steps of our deck. The sky was gray. Just like my mood. A subtle breeze flitted through the air. The scent of crushed pine was a perfume for the forest. I breathed in my surroundings. Everything was fresh, new and reborn. It made my mood even more sullen, and I don't know why.

Maybe because I would never see a new year, like the forest could. Or because I would never get a fresh start, like the forest could. I frowned.

I was jealous of the forest. How sad.